To take my son's sweets back to the shop?

[Applescruffle]

I was in the park today with my kids, boy aged 10 and girl aged 5, my friend and her kids, boy aged 11 and girl aged 4.

The boys started to get a bit bored so I gave them my card and said they could go over to the shop and get a pack of 6 ice lollies for us all. Son started to say he doesn't like ice lollies as they are "melty and annoying" this isn't true, he eats ice lollies all the time but whatever, I relented and said he could get a SMALL sweet instead. I clearly specified one sweet, about the size of the ice lolly. Other kids just wanted ice lolly. Fine.

Son then comes back from the shop. Says he does want ice lolly now and proceeded to pull other stuff he got from his bag. One massive bag of crisps, like a sharing size bag, and two big bags of sweets totalling £6 plus the £1.50 box of ice lollies he now says he wants one of.

I said no, he's taking the mick and he knows better than to abuse the trust I give him when I give him my card.
I told him he could have an ice lolly only now and I took all the other stuff back to the shop. I didn't shout or get angry or anything but I was firm and told him no, he's not keeping it.

DH thinks I should have just told him off but let him keep the sweets and crisps.

AIBU?

How's she going to do that then?

This thread is mentalist.

Fancy taking food back to a shop though. What did you say to the cashier?

Fair enough not letting him have them but I don’t think you should have taken them back to the shop, not sure why but returning food if there is nothing wrong with it just seems wrong to me.

I think you handled it perfectly personally.

Don’t you have to put your pin in every so often? I thought that was a standard security feature that it has random pin checks.

This is actually a very good idea! As long as OP wasn't short of money and needing it for other things, I like the idea of donating them to those who need them rather than just giving them back to the shop. Much more powerful lesson.

I think you did the right thing OP. Especially doing calmly and explaining to him why it's wrong.

Having worked in supermarkets and convenience stores it's definitely not the pettiest reason for a return! I don't understand why people are surprised you can return in tbh.

YABU for giving your card in the first place.

Regardless of whether he has his own GoHenry

Agree.

Classic… ask a question about taking sweets back and people jump on the fact he had the bank card. That’s wasn’t the question. He was trusted and he broke that trust. OP I think you were right to take it back and teach him a lesson.

Yanbu. Regardless of whether or not he was old enough, he'll learn nothing by being allowed to keep the sweets.

You said one small thing and he way pushed his luck.

Did the shopkeeper accept the return and refund you?

He's 10 and he was handed a bank card 😁. He bought a large bag of crisps, not a gram of coke.
He shouldn't have, obviously, but I have to laugh at op summoning the energy to march back to the shop to demand a refund when she couldn't be arsed to go herself in the first place.

yabu for giving him your card (and presumably PIN)

I've been thinking about whether I'm too harsh on these things. I wouldn't give anyone my card, but supposing I'd given a DC a tenner for a multipack of lollies and they'd done something similar, they wouldn't even be getting the lolly, never mind keep the rest of it. And DH would have backed me up on that.

As to returning it to the shop, I probably wouldn't have the nerve, though I'd seriously consider making the DC do so.

Since when was it allowed to give your kid your card?

The bank will find that fraudulent and in breach or T&C... you could get in a lot of trouble.

Given this is common knowledge and you child is quite clearly a CHILD I find it odd the cashier didn't question an obviously illegal transaction.

Ridiculous the amount of numpties banging on about statutory rights and whether he should have the card or not, completely irrelevant to the actual fucking question!
He's 10 and old enough to know he was doing the wrong thing. So yes, you were right to take the sweets off him. If the 'shopkeeper' (it's a Coop, not some poor sod in his corner shop) has given you a refund, then they're obviously happy to do so and not left destitute by it.

I can’t think of a single snack, other than one banana, that you could could buy actually buy and pay with card for 30p.

You mean the OP? Since she’s the one who (incorrectly) raised the issue of statutory rights.

No, I haven’t done it in ages. Actually I can hardly remember what my pin is.

Can't believe you would let your 10 year old son use your bank card OP. Does he also know your pin number?

I have been asked for my pin number loads of times, I thought all banks did this every now and again for security reasons.

I would have done the same and if the shop had refused to take them back, l would have made sure he didn't eat any of them (would have had them myself after he went to bed!)

Banks ask for your pin after 5 contactless in a row as a rule for security to make sure it's you so I find I hard to believe that you haven't ever had this happen tbh

Not my bank. I use my card for everything and I can’t remember the last time I was asked for my PIN.

Well I'm clearly in the minority but I couldn't have got worked up about that. He felt the billy big bollocks having your card and decided to show off with it. One bag of crisps and 2 bags of sweets. I'd have brought them home, put them away and treated them as any store cupboard snacks.