Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Your child was drugged at a sleep over with prescription medication that wasn't prescribed to them?

I think I would be less likely to report them to social services for child abuse if they had said it was whiskey!

This has got to be a joke!!?

Your husband needs to man up and say something to his cousin. You need to go on an assertiveness course. Someone gave your child prescription medication without your knowledge, consent or them having any training of the side effects and his medical history. Just WTAF - of course it’s unreasonable. It’s illegal!

@Mummy08m

When I dropped him off, she did joke about giving them a shot of brandy along with some melatonin and 'Calms'. I thought she was joking so I laughed along with her.

Worst phrase. My neck is where it’s always supposed to be. Doesn’t come out. Was just making the point that it doesn’t matter where you purchase it from. It’s still medication.

You can absolutely buy it OTC in the US and according to our pediatrician not a big deal to give it to kids. It doesn’t act that fast and shouldn’t make people sleep extra deeply (it helps you GO to sleep) so was likely placebo effect for your son. We occasionally give them to DD and suspect we could give her a vitamin instead and she’d still go to sleep, usually she goes out in 5 mins and it doesn’t work that fast.

that said, I’d be annoyed a parent gave my kid something that falls close to medicine without checking.

Jeez at 6 I would be messaging the parent to ask permission for calpol let alone melatonin!

That's really out of order and you need to say something.

@Nowthenhere

I wish it were a joke. I'm starting to realize I way under reacted. All of the other kids at the sleepover regularly have melatonin so maybe she assumed our child did as well.

My son thinks this is the gummy he had.

Your 6 year old child?

He was able to identify what he thinks is the specific gummy, out of thousands?

I’m not a criminal lawyer or a copper, @throwbacko2 but it is a criminal offence to supply a prescription drug to someone it is not intended for.

I don’t think I was rude.

According to our paediatrician in the U.K., who treats my autistic child, it is a big deal and not to be given lightly. What’s to say yours knows better?

Exactly. The dose has to be calibrated to the individual child by a Paediatric Consultant. Then monitored. Stupid people. I'd not let my child back there.

You can buy it OTC here (the US). Judging by all of the UK responses it seems to have wildly different reputations across the pond! Is it like a controlled drug there? I can buy it at the grocery store easily and it's very common for many of the moms I know to use it without a doctor! I'd never have known it was such a big deal there. Can I ask why?

All that said OP, I'd be furious someone gave it to my DC without my consent!

Although what I would do is irrelevant because I’m in the UK and it turns out the OP is in the US and you can get melatonin OTC

I don't know anything about whether melatonin is prescription only or whatever but what I do know is that if you suggest to host a sleepover with five 6-8 year olds, you have to radically accept that they will not be asleep by 9pm. That's the fun of it (for them) FGS. If you can't handle that, maybe don't host the sleepover rather than drug the kids?

@throwbacko2

I was checking our local store. They don't have many brands and this is a popular brand. I showed him a few pictures and he recognized the container.

I wasn’t doubting you! I’m saying it is in no way super common to dose children at sleepovers! The parents are mental!

The very first time my Ds had a melatonin gummy (aged 13 as well so much older) it knocked him out within half an hour. You build up a tolerance to it.

id be livid. Ds had it due to major sleeping problems common in autistics. It’s a medicine with side effects.

Maybe I read it wrong but the

you know, the normal one when you call the police

sounded like sarcastic?

Maybe not I am autistic and often pick things up wrong.

Anyway thank you for explaining about the police thing because it wouldnt even have occurred to me to do this but it makes sense

OTC or not you don’t give other people’s children shit like that! I wouldn’t bloody give them a chewable multivit.

I suppose if you're in the US and it's not a prescription drug there it's slightly different but still. Unacceptable to give without asking for sure.

@User63847484848

I'm a Brit living in the US. It does seem to be quite prevalent here to give children melatonin. But I've never heard of giving it to someone else child.

Even so, ot was given without your knowledge or consent to a 6 year old !!
Really irresponsible.

Of course dosed is a correct term, he was given something he shouldn’t have been. Even paracetamol you check with the parents asking if it’s okay before you give it.
Even taking the illegal drug giving aside, she thought it was reasonable to sedate kids who were 6 as she didn’t want to deal with a sleepover.

If you live in the States it's probably culturally acceptable. Most posters here are UK based and you only get it on prescription not OTC

I would be calling the police!! What on earth?!!

id check before even giving someone else’s child paracetamol if they became unwell at my house……