Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

This is unacceptable to me and my child would never be left in their "care" again.

Errr.. I would have gone crazy.

Your husband is also capable of saying something himself to the parents, not sure why that's up to you.

I just asked my son, he said it was a 'gummy that helps you go to sleep'.

Apparently he went to sleep 10 mins after having it.

@Poorlymumma

I kind of wish he would. The father of the family is his second cousin so I feel like maybe it's his place to say

I would go BALISTIC and I'm pretty laid back.

So maybe 'dosed' wasn't the correct term. Would you still be upset if it was just a gummy? I think I may be incorrect about being able to buy it OTC. I'm really not sure as it's not something we have ever looked into.

I would tell the mum how unhappy you are about this and not let him visit their home again.
Even if you have no intention of him having another sleepover there what else might they give him during the day when he plays there? What if he tells them he has a headache and they give him a couple of aspirin? Or he's excited and they give him some ADHD meds? It's never ok for someone to give drugs to a child without parental consent.

No need to be rude; I was asking genuinely.

What would the prosecution be?

What. The fuck

I would be fucking fuming if anyone gave my child this! Even if it was a 'gummy bear'.

How do they know your son wasn't super sensitive to it and it send him into a deep unconscious / sedate him? Or even worse?!

Absolute batshit madness and I'd have said something there and then!!!

@User63847484848

Well, you can believe it or not. Doesn't bother me.

I would be livid and calling the police! In the UK it's a drug that can only be started by a hospital consultant and only under very strict conditions.

Even a dose of Calpol I'd expect to be called about!

I have purchased melatonin in the Coop in Italy and Lidl in Spain.

Where on earth did you get the idea that it's "super common" to do this, op?
Asking if you're unreasonable to feel mildly irritated is the under reaction of the year.

If you’re in the States then it is widely available OTC- there’s paediatric gummies just on the shelf right there next to the vitamins. Still, it’s not ok to give someone else’s child anything without seeking permission from the parents. This parent has really overstepped the mark here.

Irrelevant. Still wouldn’t give medication to someone else’s child without their parents consent. Even calpol.

My son thinks this is the gummy he had.

Unless it was cannabis/edible he wouldn't have gone to sleep in 10mins with melatonin.

If it was an edible that's even worse and you've bigger things to worry about.

I thought melatonin could be addictive (if not literally then effectively, as in it stops you from being able to sleep easily without it).

I would be going absolutely violent with rage if someone did this to my child. They've drugged your child to shut him up for an easy night. I see this on a par with giving someone else's 6yo a shot of whiskey to make him sleep. Actually, it's worse.

Even if they didn't give any to my child, I'd seriously judge any parent who did this to their own kids unless specifically medically instructed. But giving it to someone else's kid?!

Why does being a gummy change things? It’s medication, whatever form it’s it.

@HarrietJet

A lot of parents where we live do this. I guess I just assumed.

Oh my god that is insane! It won’t harm him but who casually doses other people’s children?!

Your husband's job. Ask him to tell them about it right now and happily go ballistic. It should be a crime.

You're 38 weeks pregnant, it's absolutely your husband's place to pick this up if you don't want to because your health and psychological state needs protecting at the moment as someone about to give birth.

I didn't say I had, or advocate anyone else doing so. Wind your neck in.