Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Jesus Christ I’d be furious. If she didn’t want to deal with kids up late don’t host a bloody sleepover!

I overheard parents in the park (UK) recently talking about giving their kids melatonin on a camping trip to knock them out. I think it’s despicable parenting, drugging a child to make them easier to manage.

@Washeroo

The rates of inductions and c sections here are also crazy due to over medicalization.

We live in the US too, and have used those exact gummies on our little one (by quartering one kids gummy) if flying back to the UK etc and need a solid period of sleep for other passengers. My DH has taken the full kids one, and sticks to that as the adult one truly knocks him out, and he is a grown man. I'd be furious in our shoes. That is not normal behaviour, especially in the US where if someone reacts badly there could be serious consequences. As a side note, we found if we gave it to our 3 year old when she had a cough it made it seriously worse, and it turns out that the melatonin gummies cause airway constriction issues especially for children with asthma. I would never in a million years ever give one to another parent's child, without them telling me to do it in the hand over instruction as something they are routinely given and are ok with. That parent is odd to say the least, and I am glad that nothing worse happened than your child having an accident. If they stay over again, i'd expressely tell the parent not to medicate your child.

@Nowdontmakeamess

I agree. I need to say something.

get your husband to give those parents a stern talking to, and don't let your children go there again, even to play.
and don't let your son go to any more sleep-overs.
you just don't know what is going on, who is in the house.

No with an otc sleep aid used commonly for children and adults.

Everyone saying you can get it over the counter, or it's a tiny dose etc...

In my view this is irrelevant. You do not medicate a child unless they are ill. Full stop.

And if someone else's child is ill during a sleepover, you call the parents. That's it.

Are people saying it's cultural in the US to take all sorts of over the counter medication even when you're not ill, for lifestyle reasons? I doubt that's true, but if it is, that is plain bonkers and I wouldn't bring up my child like that.

Think very carefully?
It doesn’t require much thinking to say not a chance.

Incidentally the first dose I gave Ds was very low (half a 5mg gummy) and he was 13. It totally knocked him out. So I can well believe a 6 year old who’d not had it before would be knocked out by 1mg.

Are people saying it's cultural in the US to take all sorts of over the counter medication even when you're not ill, for lifestyle reasons?

People are saying that it's not classed as medication in the US.

@Mummy08m

Unfortunately it is true. That seems to be the way a lot of people think.

No you can buy 1mg gummies in the UK, they aren't prescribed and definitely don't put you in a deep sleep.

1mg is a tiny dose, it only gets you to sleep it doesn’t prolong it.

I take it nightly, helps with weight gain.

Even in the UK, on Amazon or wherever you can buy melatonin gummies for kids.
However, I completely agree that the montrer should have asked you!
What if your son had a heart condition etc or another drug that was contraindicated and couldn’t have melatonin?!

I’d be fuming.

What is it classed as?

A dietary supplement.

@alexdgr8

I'm really disappointed this happened at his first sleepover. Since they are family/close friends (my husband grew up with the dad of the family and we go to church together) I didn't expect this.

It’s classed as a food supplement - agreed by the FDA.
Here in the UK, it’s supposed to be prescription only.

I'm really shocked at this, I have 10mg gummies and they just about help me doze off a bit quicker than normal.

No idea why my original post is being reviewed - but as a US parent of little ones who have taken that exact gummy for long haul flights, there are serious side effects including breathing difficulties for asthmatic children. Our little one who does have breathing issues when sick cannot catch her breath if she takes that (and we quarter one child's dose). I would either not let my child stay there again, or I would make sure that the mum knows never to give any medications to my child without my consent. Although it is a "supplement" here, not medication, it can still have major side effects, particularly in young children. What she did is not normal at all.

Are you six years old?

My dd who is 6 has just been given them from a consultant who just read a few notes from gp. I havent given her them yet as im not comfortable given her something like that with out my questions answered so no way would i give anyone elses child it. My daughter had a friend over to play with a broken collar bone i asked her mum if she was in pain if it ok to give medicine but i wrote what i gave her the time i gave it and how much she had and gave to her mum ehen she picked her up.

My daughter went to my sisters last week for the night her aunts… she was slightly under the weather and didn’t sleep for longer than 2 hours and then intervals… she had melatonin sat there for her own AUTISTIC child and she then told me she didn’t want to give my daughter calpol because things weren’t that bad and she didn’t feel like “ drugging” both children up for them to sleep so she didn’t.

that is your child. Your their protector. If anyone had done this to my daughter her dad wouldn’t even leave it to me he’d be furious and I don’t understand how your so laid back about it. It’s a drug that reallh should be prescribed and not given to a child like yours for no reason. They’ve done that to force them to sleep to give them an easier night. I for one would never let my child sleep there again! You need to sort this out and protect your child

But the dose is irrelevant - it was someone else medicating the OP’s child.
Even gummy vitamins you wouldn’t give to someone else’s child.

Adult dose is 2mg in uk.