Do all parents of one child find holidays intense?

[relaxationescapesme]

NC for this.

Long anticipated holiday with DP and 13 yr old DS.

Expensive, far away, vigorously researched and organised. Always wjth DS's best interests at heart - mix of activities, chill, places where he might meet other kids. (We often go away with friends but this was a bigger trip and I wanted for it to just be us).

We've had some great moments but wow, it's intense. DS is hard effing work - pretty sulky, not compromising, takes so much coaxing to do what we ask - basically same shit, different place. Except now we are all together in paradise but also in a pressure cooker. We've all argued, as a result.

And these are the times I feel bad that he's an only child. It's like the light is shone on his lack of sibling when he is surrounded by other families, whose kids can just muck around in the pool.

He has made friends but they then left.

I honestly feel like I won't organise another holiday like this again. So much work, money and stress.

And then the sadness about him being an only child.

Travelling with mates and scrabbling round making pesto pasta in a French youth hostel makes them appreciate the family holiday again ! The smart ones do both !

Another one that thinks it's not just one child families experiencing this. I have one child who happily embraces everything and one child who wants to stay indoors and has to be cajoled into absolutely everything. It's extremely tiresome. Honestly, I just look forward to the days we can travel with no kids at all. I think keep your expectations low, it's a teenage thing for some kids. There's no point battling.

So true! He wants to pull away but can't. I should remember that - he must feel a bit powerless

Over the past few years we’ve tended to go on city breaks with DS (now 16).

In this time it’s become increasingly difficult to get him up in the mornings (caused friction with DH) and so I think we are at that point where we’ll probably leave him to sleep and he can head over to us once he’s ready (he’s almost 17).

He’s a confident traveller via the tube/bus etc, so we’ll compromise and let him to his own thing in the mornings. Once mornings are out of the way he can be a completely different person and enjoys our company.

We couldn’t afford to add another person to the holiday unfortunately.

When he was younger we did go on a few all inclusive holidays, we were lucky in the fact that DS easily made friends, although I do understand what you mean, OP when you see a large family, all seeming to have DC amusing themselves.

It is hard though, we all work hard for our holiday and it’s really difficult not to be annoyed when your DC seems to dislike it!

We are at that stage where there probably won’t be many more holidays together, we’ll see. DS does have a GF, so this time next year they might just head off together.

@BlueSurf that's what we did. I remember a 5 dayer in Istanbul exactly like this- we decided to just leave him to it (was 15) and join us when he felt like it .

@Crikeyalmighty gone are the days of 5am starts! 😆

Honestly I have a 15 and 12 year old - last year the 12 year old basically ruined it due to the same behaviour/attitude as you’re describing. They both argued most of the time. We go again in 3 weeks and I’m definitely not looking forward to it as much as I should be. It’s not you, it’s not him being an only child, it’s him being a pain in the arse awkward teenager. Don’t feel bad x

@BlueSurf more like 5pm starts!!

On what planet did you think a 13 year old wouldn't be hard work most of the time on holiday without a mate, even if he was involved in the plans?
Mum of one here who always, always took a mate after the age of 7, no matter how special the holiday.

Whet I have realised with teens is there are just glimmers of harmony and fun a bit like toddlers. So it’s best to just lower your expectations and just enjoy some activity or part of a day snd let them mooch sbout for the rest.

Totally hear you I don’t think it’s just only children, mine are 8 years apart so have different interests, they are generally happy together on holidays but want to do different things which can be a struggle I always Hope they find friends their age x

I have 2, they are still primary school age, but it is intense. The whinging. The moaning. The fighting. The never agreeing on anything. He said/ she said…
doesn’t help you… but it’s not necessarily down to just having one child!

Don't think its parents of 1, just parents of teenagers in general - just spent 10 days away with our 3 & although they are generally on to be around this was truly a hellish week, weather didn't help! DH & I have decided it will be a couple of long weekends next yr with them & time away just us 2 !

Siblings fight constantly. I did with mine, at least!
Single mum of one child here and this evening's the first time DC has read a book, letting me read Mumsnet.
We have a lot of holidays just me and him and it's great, but I rarely get a moment to myself.

We've just been away with our 12 year old, he likes to do a lot of drawing while watching you tube tutorials so he does that while we are at the pool during the hot part of the day. He also does some online with his cousins in the eve but otherwise we are all together and playing in the pool. We've found a good mix of him times / us time / all together time but it's not easy, I have to remember tweens are selfish little buggers at times but a mixture works.

On the planet where he didn't really want to bring a friend

Thanks for all the replies. I won't respond any further - but thank you to those unjudgmental posters who've made me feel a bit better

I think it's an age thing tbh. IMO teenagers often spend a lot of time being sulky and "bored" then will reminisce in a few years time about it.

Sometimes when you think a holiday was shit because your teen was sulky the whole time, you will get back and your teen will tell you about how this was the best holiday ever 😅

We went away to Italy last year with my parents and my 13-year-old. We drove from Germany to Bibione with a stop-over in Munich and my daughter moaned the whole time about how this was a total "rip-off holiday" as we're not flying and how it's torture blah blah. She also seemed unimpressed with various things once we were there. Now she keeps going on about how amazing Italy was and that this was he favourite trip ever and that she wants to go back 😂 Err... not sure my parents will agree to that again