Should contact centre care more?

[Hotandsunny]

I feel like making a complaint to a contact centre but I'd like to hear the opinion of those with more experience.

I support a lady who is suffering with her mental health at the moment. Her toddler DS was put into foster care and she sees him at a contact centre. Today we planned to take him to a cafe for lunch and then to the park.

We go into the room at the contact centre and mum says Let's get your shoes on we're going for some lunch and then to the park. He gets excited and then the supervisor says 'oh, you can't take him out today' We protest that we have no lunch for him and it's a hot, sunny day and we don't want him stuck in a small room for 3 hours. I ask why they didn't tell me when I rung in the morning to confirm contact or when his mum was waiting in the reception (she was 40 min early) meaning we could have sorted lunch and not told the little boy we were going out. They just said the social worker should have told us and I could buy him lunch from the corner shop. It's literally a tiny corner shop selling crisps, sweets and fizzy drinks kind of thing. Luckily I had brought some fruit as a snack, I bought some crisps and biscuits in the shop and that was his lunch. His mum was obviously upset but had to swallow it down so she could make the most of her time with her son. At the end of contact she puts him in a buggy to be taken out to transport. When she was putting him in the buggy he started getting excited, thinking finally we are going to the park. Once he realised that wasn't happening he got upset.

Now, of course the social worker should have told her. But the contact staff's attitude that they couldn't care less really got to me. Would it really have been so hard for them to check we knew so we brought lunch. Could they not have said something before we went into the room just to prevent upset of mum in front of the child as well as upset of the child being told something that couldn't happen. At the end of the day social workers are notoriously overworked and communication suffers, it's not right but should they not put the child's welfare first and make sure these things are known rather than end up in the situation as described.

If you fail to communicate something to them all hell breaks loose but the other way round they refuse to take any responsibility.

By the way, I'm not saying the social worker isn't ultimately responsible for this, she absolutely is and I've messaged her about it and asked her to contact me. I just feel it's a shame the people on the frontline can't work in a cooperative way for the sake of the children.

YABU - don't make a complaint this is the social workers fault only.
YANBU - the contact centre should have some concern for how these things affect the children and communicate with parents

OP I know you haven't given any personal identification away but please be careful what is posted on a public forum. People will always put 2 and 2 together. Sometimes they come up with 6 sometimes 4!

I think you have your answer re whether the contact centre have any liability and given the last info especially, they don't as clearly this was the SW decision. If the SW had time to communicate changes to contact centre they also had time to tell mum so she could have brought lunch and maybe an activity. I think you're right to complain to SW or use their grievance policy and it wouldn't be about being nasty etc. Hope you get sorted and future contacts go smoothly 😊

I agree regarding the SW. However, the contact centre are well aware that they in fact do pass those messages on all the time so being pragmatic how can we make this work for everyone a bit better? I think by just mentioning anything relevant when the centre is phoned in the morning. Yes, it might not always be possible but often it is.

I've given no identifiable personal information atall. I also have the consent of the mother. If you have a problem report me. And if you can't as there is no identifiable information then you have your answer.

I also didn't say I was a support worker.

It's ok, I only take on board the very few replies from people with actual experience. My supervision isn't all that great, unfortunately.

@Hotandsunny ex-foster carer and adopter of two here. I’m sorry you’ve been given a hard time here. Honestly, contact centres are the seventh circle of hell as designed by a child-hating Miss Trunchbull-type. In my experience, no contact (and what a clinical and cold word that is; surely children meet up with their parents or have play dates. I have never asked for a ‘contact’ with a classmate of my children or a relative or friend) is EVER designed with the needs of the child at its heart; it’s more a tick-box exercise and endurance test of misery that is stipulated by the family courts and then extremely poorly executed by children’s services. My DD2 had ongoing ‘contact’ for two years in a ‘contact centre’ that had bars on every window, no curtains or blinds open (to protect privacy, apparently), contained a toy box of the shittest, filthiest and most broken toys known to mankind (if I had worked there, I’d have gone to the local charity shops, invested £20 from my own purse to buy some entertainment for the babies and children and cleaned them with baby wipes and spray).

If there are no legal reasons why ‘contact’ in the community is no longer permitted and there are full risk assessments in place, then do the kiddo a favour and continue to push for a trip to the park. (I would bet my house and my life savings that the issue is because no staff to supervise).

Does your client/friend have a legal aid solicitor?

As I already stated I know it is the SW's responsibility. I was just looking for a pragmatic solution. Probably didn't explain very well. But no, I won't be going into anything in any more detail and of course many details have been changed. I have had a few really useful replies as always just need to wade through the rest!! I usually just ignore them but I must be hormonal today as they got on my nerves!!

Well if you have the permission of the mother then that's fine then I mean't contact worker

@Hotandsunny , just a thought, you could always bypass the SW and contact team and get in touch with the child’s IRO? I have always found that if I can present an argument as being in the best interests of a child, then the IRO would have my back as would the SW (even if through gritted teeth).

Do you not have someone in the charity you’re working with who you can discuss this with?

As a charity support worker you sound both very over involved, and also very independent. Do they know you’re preparing the lunches and calling ahead each time? If so then whoever you’re discussing that with, talk to them about this as well.

I don’t think MN is the appropriate place for this, especially when it includes details of a child in care. Their foster parents could recognise this for example.

I did say contact so people knew what I was talking about but we actually call it 'family time'.

I really agree with what your saying and I did find it hard that no one at the centre seemed interested in the best interests of the child and neither do many on this thread!

Luckily, this was just a one off and it should be back to normal next week. Don't make that bet as actually that wasn't the reason in this instance. In my opinion the child was punished because of the other parent, but not going to open that can of worms!

Yes, she has a legal aid solicitor.

Oh she is a charity support worker, you are correct she seems too invovled.

If you find a solution bottle it and sell it! It's an awful situation when you're trying to support someone and can see from the outside looking in 'if only this had been done this wouldn't have happened'. Fwiw the fact that you're invested in looking at how it can be done differently shows you care. Never underestimate how important that is for people especially when they're having a crap time.

My daughter has supervised contact with her father in a contact centre. In 3 years she has never left the contact centre. What your referring to is contact in the community. A contact centre would never allow supervised contact to take place outside of the centre unless contact in the community has been ordered by the court or children's services.
I think yabu to want to complain. However mum should ask for a list of what is allowed and what is not.

Yes, that's a good idea. Not sure how easy they would be to get hold of though!

No, not in the same useful way. And yes, all fine what I'm doing. The foster parents wouldn't recognise it.

Some contact centres require that whoever is visiting call on the day to confirm they are still attending, especially if sessions have been missed before. Unfortunately not everyone turns up for contact and this saves having to transport a child and them getting excited and then let down. It also frees staff for other things. I assume this is why OP is ringing beforehand - might be wrong though!

Ha! Yes, good idea. And thank you for the kind words.

I think being given this level of responsibility towards a parent whose child is in care, and not having anyone to escalate concerns to, is probably a bigger issue than the contact centre telling you late that you’re not able to go to the park.

Sounds like a safeguarding nightmare tbh if people in your role are having to seek advice from unqualified internet randoms over issues concerning a child in care.

Please read the thread. She goes out of the centre almost every session. Someone else not being allowed to has no relevance.

I used to manage complaints about social care OP and there’s no harm in you raising this. If you were hesitant to formally complain you could raise it as a comment, less formal but still with an expectation of response. You can couch in terms of wanting to support mum and child with having quality family time, minimising disruption and managing expectations.

No, as an insider, this is par for the course. I don’t know about you, but I’m not an inexperienced or unqualified random here.

It is apparently standard at this centre that they like everyone to ring in the morning to confirm. It is as you say so that the child isn't upset by turning up at contact if the parent can't make it and didn't let them know. I do it at the moment but it is the plan to get to a point where mum does it herself.

Lucky he's got a social worker then.

I really do not have a high 'level of responsibility'!

Yes, that sounds perfect, thanks.