Could you be with a partner who doesn't believe in climate change?

[ToDoLists]

DH doesn't really think it's all that bad. He thinks we should be recyling more and caring for the planet as makes sense and is just the right thing to do - but that climate change as a disaster is an exaggeration and not based in science. And that people are utilising it for their own agenda, woke brigade & so on.

We have young kids.

AIBU to find this position increasingly problematic?

People are going to say people are allowed different opinions but he seems geniunely unconcerned about future of planet for our kids - and I find that hard to swallow.

The climate warnings have not been proven wrong

They are proving remarkably accurate - we are tracking the major predictions made in the 1970s very well

Agree with everything you have written here!

I'll come back to the thread later as have to work but I am:

An environmentalist/climate scientist, that's my job
Have a sort of non believing other half

So that's interesting...

Absoloutely agree with DH. There are many many complext cycles and variations which contribute to world climate. The sun is the main driver however (probably not too surprising when you think about it!). The Milankovich cycles, for example show that when the earth's orbit is more elliptical than circular the climate changes up and down.

To return to the original worries about DH. Firstly, let's not tie this kind of viewpoint in with "cranks" though of course many of the latter have driven scientific and philosophical thought forward! And no, I am not a Trump supporter or flat earther!!

Secondly what is wrong with debate in the family? I was always thoroughly questioned by my parents particularly over political points. I regard this as helpful and stimulating and it taught me never to accept things unquestioningly.

This has stood me in good stead. I have always done this myself and my son aand I continue to have excellent debates (notice, they are NOT arguments).

In my lifetime there have been predictions of London being underwater by 2000, then regularly updated to various years up to now.

There were predictions that we were heading into an ice age.
Predictions that various glaciers would be gone by 2010 +

There are plenty of warnings that have not come to fruition.

That’s not to say we shouldn’t be acting, but punishing people into action is not the way.

The vast majority of children are in school - they should be taught to look forward and look for solutions, not more and more ways to limit already struggling people’s lives.

I fully agree with Konstantin Kisin in this respect. Whatever we’ve been doing for the last few decades have produced a bunch of young people who think that “Just Stop Oil” is going to make a difference without having any problem solving ideas. Sod the carrot, it’s all about the stick. Look how well it’s going.

I'm not sure it really matters. His actions seem to be mostly in keeping with a lot of people who profess to believe. Ultimately actions speak a lot louder.

'They want you to pay more money and lower your standards of living to change the weather'.

What utter bollocks. The government do not give a flying fig about the climate; they want to 'lower your standards of living' so that they can maintain the status quo, i.e. their own privilege.

YANBU to find his approach increasingly problematic. What you are refering to here are broader core values and these matter. Do we treat the environment with respect; see ourselves as being in reciprocal relationship with it and understand the basic inter-connectedness of all living things? Or do we treat it in a narcissistic, exploitative, abusive way, taking only what we want with no thought of the consequences? Personally I don't need science to tell me how to behave in relation to something that allows me to survive and gives to me in innumerable ways. Tribal people are much more understanding and appreciative of their place in this web of connection; they are the true caretakers of the earth.

As for children, we are giving their tomorrow for our today.

I remember the following climate disasters-

Acid Rain - shown to be a myth but industry did clean up its act.
Hole in the Ozone Layer - removal of CFC's is fixing that.
Global Cooling - not happened so far.
Global Warming - they got bored of that name.
Climate Change - been happening for 4.5 Billion Years.

I'm waiting for an VEI-8 Volcanic Eruption to occur that will give everyone something to moan about - happens about every 50,000 years, only 23,000 years to go !

I despair, the predictions didn't come true because action was taken to prevent it 🤦‍♀️

You’re right, it’s about his core values
not aligning with the OP’s.

And for me, his inability to source reliable factual information would be a massive ick factor. Ignoring evidence from bodies comprised of top scientists, such as top universities in the world, NASA, the UN, IPCC etc, puts his judgement on par with a nut job conspiracy theorist.

There are some non negotiable opinions from a partner but this wouldn't be one of them.

A huge red flag would be a partner that required alignment on everything, fucking hell that'd be proper tedious. My OH believes things I don't and vice versa. I have friends that hold views I find frankly insane but we just talk about disco or something instead

He’s allowed his own opinion. My parents both voted for different parties but they still loved each other.

Yep - it's the Y2K and ozone layer hole all over again.

There's always going to be climate change, the earth has went through many through billions of years, plus we were all taught continents are on plates that move. What some people don't believe is that humans are responsible for the climate shifting and that's fine just like some people think humans are responsible-that's fine also.
Everyone has different opinions no use in falling out about it.

Been wrong? Have ya nae seem that Europe is on fire? New highest tp in the world was over 53° 🙄

I guess it depends on how strongly ya feel about climate change, if it was a new relationship would this be a deal breaker for you? I think it would for me along woth voting tory, I am single disabled Mum and have been shat on the tories from a high height, someone voting for them is also voting to bring single parents, people on low incomes and disabled people to their kness!!

why have kids if so scared about it

Sounds like your DH is trying to do his bit to take care of the planet. What are you doing differently to him? At the end of the day, lots of people believe in global warming, but do sweet FA to really make any impactful change to their carbon footprint. They still consume unnecessarily, goes abroad, run two cars, drive when then could walk or take public transport, have more than one child etc etc. Actions matter, rather than whether someone is sceptical or not. I actually find it kind of sad that you would think of ending a marriage over something that not even all scientists agree about.

YANBU OP. Also , if my DP ever utters "woke brigade" in a way that isn't taking the piss out of people who use it seriously, I'm running for the hills. 🫣

its called tolerance

Yes, we have to tolerate people with all sorts of batshit opinions, however ignorant and irrational we may consider them to be. We have to tolerate their right to exist in the same spaces as us, to hold those views and to express them...but we don't have to marry them, to share a life and a bed with them!

If you're going to be tied to one person forever, surely it should be someone you respect and admire not just "tolerate". It's ridiculous to accuse someone of being intolerant because they don't want to be married to someone who holds certain beliefs. I wouldn't want to be married to a racist, does that make me intolerant? I also wouldn't marry a homophobe, a misogynist or someone who supported the current Government's immigration agenda. We all have our red lines and we're entitled to say what they are.

It's childish and simplistic to say "everyone is entitled to their opinion", as though freedom of thought or freedom of speech also means freedom from consequence. If OP's DH is entitled to deny overwhelming scientific evidence in favour of conspiracy theories, then he needs to accept that other people are entitled to form an opinion about him based on those views.

@ToDoLists this topic is so pertinent to me. I am hugely worried about climate change but my husband and I have had some differences of opinion, not just regarding climate change, but opinions in general. He had been very influenced by what are unfortunately extremely common view points and although he would fully deny being a conspiracy theorist this is how I regard him. Over the last few years, expressed some of the following opinions:

covid denial
‘anti wokery’
support for Andrew tate
anti vax
support for trump
royal family Lizzard thing
McCans pedo ring
Hillary Clinton drinking kids blood
latest one is something about world economic forum being in charge… I loose track
bbc and Disney run by pedos

As a general rule he’s just anti establishment, anti authority and anti MSM. If you quiz his he doesn’t actually have any ‘real’ opinions and is unable to back up his wild claims and huge inconsistencies. He gets all his information from podcasts and refuses to watch the news. If I say he’s being brainwashed he says I’m the one being brainwashed.

to say it’s had an impact on our marriage is an understatement. We have very different upbringings and I’ve always liked that about us but he never used to be like this and I think the lack of control during COVID has played a big part. It has nearly split us up but ultimately he is a good person, we have 3 children, he’s a kind loving, hardworking father and husband, and I don’t want it to tear out family apart. Perhaps the saddest thing is I no longer value his opinion and I’m really disappointed that he’s been influenced so easily.

current affairs are pretty much off the table as it inevitably leads to arguments.

I can see how it is a huge problem for you but if you love you husband and want to make it work I would try to move past it and hope he changes his mind.

one of the really frustrating things about my husband is that further down the road he will ‘forget’ the opinions he’s previously expressed (although won’t admit he has suddenly has a different opinion). He will either deny ever saying it or say he exaggerates things because I wind him up!! At the same time he will be onto the next big idea and tell me everything he’s said has come true. It’s exhausting.

For now and while the kids are young I’ve learnt to live with it and pray he mellows and goes back to being the man I fell in love with 20 years ago.

@neverbeenskiing

Exactly!!!!

Mind you-what have you got against skiing?

How do you realistically see your life if you break up with him (over this non issue) ? Do you think that your perfect political and romantic match will just show up and want to care for another mans children? Or will you be happier on your own?

Some of the hysterical posts on this thread are hilarious. For what it's worth I agree with him.

@neverbeenskiing Exactly! I'm always baffled when there are just so many posts saying "everyone is entitled to different opinions" - of course they are! You can say that about anything and everything. I'm not saying he has no right to express such a view. I am also entitled to lose respect for him over it.

And I'm afraid to say @User435787532 that I do relate to some of this also. We don't have exactly the same lists of things our husbands believe but there is cross over. My DH is more of a Jordan Peterson man than Andrew Tate - but he would say something about Tate like "oh i'm sure he's an arsehole but also the liberal elite make stuff up about him because they don't like traditional men anymore".

My DH is a good dad, a reliable man, but I don't know if I can spend the next 40 years with someone who I find so difficult to respect.

I would see my life as not having to listen to idiotic YouTubers spout bullshit at 2am on my husband's laptop while I try to sleep or listening to him talk about the 'woke brigade' and the 'liberal elites' - such cliched nonsence that i find it hard to respect him.

If we did break up - it would be about different values and a loss of respect.

And I haven't given two minutes thought to another partner. I am financially and emotionally independent and have no interest in finding another "man to care for another man's children".