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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Could you be with a partner who doesn't believe in climate change?

616 replies

ToDoLists · 26/07/2023 16:17

DH doesn't really think it's all that bad. He thinks we should be recyling more and caring for the planet as makes sense and is just the right thing to do - but that climate change as a disaster is an exaggeration and not based in science. And that people are utilising it for their own agenda, woke brigade & so on.

We have young kids.

AIBU to find this position increasingly problematic?

People are going to say people are allowed different opinions but he seems geniunely unconcerned about future of planet for our kids - and I find that hard to swallow.

OP posts:
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User16496743 · 26/07/2023 16:35

Maybe you shouldn't have had the children

MNetcurtains · 26/07/2023 16:36

ToDoLists · 26/07/2023 16:17

DH doesn't really think it's all that bad. He thinks we should be recyling more and caring for the planet as makes sense and is just the right thing to do - but that climate change as a disaster is an exaggeration and not based in science. And that people are utilising it for their own agenda, woke brigade & so on.

We have young kids.

AIBU to find this position increasingly problematic?

People are going to say people are allowed different opinions but he seems geniunely unconcerned about future of planet for our kids - and I find that hard to swallow.

Could be worse, I got the trifecta with mine:

  1. Climate change denier.
  2. Thought Trump would be a good idea (he even bought a Trump T-shirt when we visited NYC in 2015. (I told him that if he ever wore it outside the home I would divorce/murder him).
  3. Voted for Brexit. Yep, I married an idiot apparently.
SecretVictoria · 26/07/2023 16:36

Well, you’re not that environmentally conscious as you have 2 kids so…:🤷‍♀️

Canthave2manycats · 26/07/2023 16:37

He's not a denier though? He just thinks it's being exaggerated?

User16496743 · 26/07/2023 16:37

But what do you want him to physically do, get rid of the car, not go on holiday, etc, etc.

Original poster
ToDoLists · 26/07/2023 16:38

@MNetcurtains wow. are you still with him?

OP posts:
Tribute219 · 26/07/2023 16:38

I'm not a denier but I'm definitely a major cynic.
The extreme, dramatic rhetoric in the media is laughable.

What I don't understand is that the people who believe the world is being destroyed so completely are still popping out kids and driving their cars (electric or otherwise) to the supermarket to buy their avocados and chocolate 😂.

User16496743 · 26/07/2023 16:38

Or maybe you just wanted to start a thread and climate change gets a lot of hits

Viviennemary · 26/07/2023 16:39

The point is there are no accurate records from the distant past. How do they even know that this global warming isnt just a natural occuring cycle of change. I'm not 100% convinced that its totally man made.

GolgafrinchamB · 26/07/2023 16:39

I think to deny climate change is to be dumber than a rock, so I would find it hard to be in a relationship with such a dolt.

Has he looked at the weather emergencies this summer? Canada on fire, extreme heatwaves, Greek islands alight, floods and landslides in Italy... howe can he minimise this?

Hugasauras · 26/07/2023 16:40

I think people rarely have weird views in isolation. It's usually part of some larger philosophy that would probably be at odds with my beliefs and values. But I'd imagine that would have come up long before marriage, if that's the case.

Emmamoo89 · 26/07/2023 16:40

I wouldn't break up with my partner over it.

SingingNettles · 26/07/2023 16:40

Honestly, my partner using phrases like ‘woke brigade’ would give me the ick.

Depressing that climate change has been folded into this culture war stuff.

Tribute219 · 26/07/2023 16:42

GolgafrinchamB · 26/07/2023 16:39

I think to deny climate change is to be dumber than a rock, so I would find it hard to be in a relationship with such a dolt.

Has he looked at the weather emergencies this summer? Canada on fire, extreme heatwaves, Greek islands alight, floods and landslides in Italy... howe can he minimise this?

The fires in Greece have been reported (not on the BBC) as being at least partly, if not wholly the result of arson. "Wild fires" is misleading. Yes it's hot, but who didn't know Greece can get really hot in the summer 🌞

FourTeaFallOut · 26/07/2023 16:44

So your problem is that he doesn't have the same amount of dread around climate change as you do but, despite that, he continues to go about his day making the same practical changes that you have to improve the environment?

And this is "problematic" 🤮 for you?

Toohotto · 26/07/2023 16:45

Is he a good husband & father generally? If he is I wouldn't break up a family & good marriage over a difference of opinion on something you can't control. He's doing his bit by recycling etc, what more do you want from him? Is he not allowed to have his own opinions?? You sound very controlling to me. Not being allowed to have a my own opinion, which may differ from yours would be my deal breaker

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 26/07/2023 16:46

Climate change is a fact, not an opinion.

I think if he is talking about hidden agendas and the 'woke brigade' that would reveal to me that he is a dickhead and no, it would be difficult to maintain a relationship with someone who i think is a dickhead.

Bookworm20 · 26/07/2023 16:47

kitsuneghost · 26/07/2023 16:29

I don't think it matters
He is still recycling and looking to care for the planet.

If he believed in it is there more he would do? e.g drive less / get a smaller car / get rid of any pets / go vegan.

Do you already want to do some of these and he is not on board?
If so is it a general lifestyle issue rather than beliefs?

This.

He already wants to recycle more etc - maybe you can suggest other things you can both do better and not focus it on the 'because of climate change'?

I mean even if he suddenly said, you're right, I beleive in it all, I'm now very very worried, what actual difference is that going to make to what hes doing already?

User16496743 · 26/07/2023 16:49

Maybe he doesn't want to discuss it constantly

Original poster
ToDoLists · 26/07/2023 16:49

Interesting - some people say my husband sounds thick as mince and climate change is not about difference of opinion and other people think I sound like a total controlling hypocrite.

Course different opinions are fine but everyone has a line somewhere don't they? If your DH believed that old people should be shot once they've over 80 - that wouldn't be acceptable. If your DH believed in the death penatly for criminals - then maybe that is something that people would just debate.

It's about red lines and where difference of opinion is so difficult to accept that it makes you lose respect for them

For some people that might be climate change denial. For some it might not be. Wanted peoples opinions. Hencing posting on a public forum. Thanks

OP posts:
grass321 · 26/07/2023 16:50

Yes, it wouldn't be an issue in any way for me. (I also have a degree in geography so more than a passing interest for me).

In all honesty, I'd rather be married to a climate change denier than someone who was vegan, wouldn't fly and knitted their own clothes (I admit I made the last one up).

Before the pile on, I recycle where possible, buy second hand and try to do my bit. But I think the rush to ban gas boilers and non electric cars is ill thought out. And we need to put more pressure on the main pollutant producing countries before we subject the already-squeezed British public to expensive, supposedly green mandates.

Ponoka7 · 26/07/2023 16:50

My DP thinks that it a part natural happening just like the ice age etc. He does think that the USA, China etc need to do their bit. I've had to talk through Just Stop Oil because we all demonised Insulate Britain and now the politicians are calling for us to insulate Britain, so while their tactics wasn't always right, they wasn't wrong. He isn't into any other conspiracy theories and we have all our boosters. Like with my Catholic ex DH, we just avoid certain topics. Racism, Homophobia and a lack of willingness to talk things through, would be a deal breaker.

Brightandshining · 26/07/2023 16:51

I wouldnt want to be in a relationship with someone who had such a massively different outlook to me no. Ive got friends who do not believe in climate change and thats fine I just avoid discussing it.. however with a partner theres no way id want to be with someone like that. Small differences of opinion are fine.. climate change denier, antivaxxer, holocaust denier, flat earther etc etc no way sorry.

Tribute219 · 26/07/2023 16:51

Climate change might be a fact, but human responsibility is opinion. The climate has been changing for billions of years.
Who was to blame for the ice age, stone age etc. Must have been those cavemen spraying their Lynx Africa around and driving their 4×4s to the School run.

Original poster
ToDoLists · 26/07/2023 16:51

User16496743 · 26/07/2023 16:49

Maybe he doesn't want to discuss it constantly

Given this is your 5th comment in 20 minutes - I would say you'd know something about discussing things constantly.

OP posts: