Page 12 | To not let them in the tent

PinkStarAtNight · 2023-07-25T15:53:43+00:00

So this is kind of lighthearted, its not an argument but I'm just wondering what others would do... So my BF, myself and our couple friends are planning a weekend at the beach this weekend. I'm worried about the weather as the forecast says wind and rain, but it doesn't look like its going to get much better throughout August so the consensus is that we should just go this weekend and make the best of it. Hotel booked. I suggested buying one of those pop up beach tents so that if it rains we could get under that until it stops. I said to BF that we could split the cost. BF said he doesn't want to do that, because then who would own the tent? (we don't live together) so he thinks it will be complicated and besides he doesn't think we need a tent anyway, he said if it rains we'll just go into the arcade or something. I said that would mean moving all the stuff off the beach and the rain might only last for 15 mins/half an hour as it says intervals of rain...we're planning to spend all day on the beach for two days so I really want a tent just to bob under if it gets rainy. I haven't asked our couple friends but I doubt they'll agree to share the cost as they're a bit like BF and will say its an unnecessary cost, we don't need it etc, they're quite tight with money as is BF. So, I'm looking at tents on Amazon and thinking of just buying one for myself. There's different sizes for 2 people, 4 people etc all at different prices. It can go up to £50 or more if you want a family one to fit 4 people in. Now I just KNOW that if I buy and take along the tent and it starts raining, they're all going to get into it aren't they? Of course they are, if its there. So I'm thinking should I get a 4 person one? Or should I get a smaller, cheaper 2 person one and risk it being a real squish when they all try to chamber in with me when the heavens open. Although I'll be the one who fully owns it afterwards, it will mildly annoy me if they all get in but didn't want to pay towards it. And I'm not sure how I feel about paying more money for a 4 person one to make room for them when they're not paying towards it. I could just get a small one that's just big enough for me, but then they might all squish in with me and that will be annoying. So, WWYD? Would you buy the tent and say to them that its yours and they're not getting in because they didn't pay towards it? Or would you cover the cost yourself, for a 4 person one, and let them share even though they're not paying? I know this is a first world problem and I'm not making an argument with anyone over it, I'm just quietly wondering whether or not to share the tent and wondered what others would do in this situation. Am I being really petty by wanting to say that its my tent and just for me because they don't want to pay towards it?

Original poster

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 00:11

Update:

So they did bring along their tent. It did not rain all Saturday. It was sunny and warm....but ridiculously windy. So windy that we couldn't even get the tent up. We did try for quite a while but the wind was so bad it just wasn't going to happen.

After two hours on the beach we all agreed we had to give up and leave because the wind was so strong that it was impossible to enjoy it.

Got to the hotel on Saturday night, led by them as they had booked it and as we got outside I said 'oh. This isn't the hotel we booked, is it?' To which A (female partner of couple) said 'oh yeah I had to go with a different hotel cos the one I sent you suddenly wanted more money when I came to book it so I looked at others and this one was cheaper and has a pool.' We then found out the pool was closed due to maintenance. The hotel was really tacky and filled with loud drunk people, whereas the hotel across the road that we had actually agreed on looked lovely.

I was kept awake all night because the pub right outside our room played loud music until 3am, then got woken up at 5am by other guests in the room next door to us coming home and banging doors and shouting.

Next morning A made it clear that she didn't want to go back to the beach again, whereas I wanted to give it another go. A suggested that we go to the Arcade instead, which we agreed to. But instead of going to the one next door to the hotel we trekked about 2 miles to the arcade that they had decided was the best, which turned out to actually be pretty shit. They were obsessed with the slot machines and tbh we were bored.

They then announced that they were thinking of getting off home 'in about an hour'. This was around 12pm. They said it was because B's mum had messaged them asking them to go over and help her plan for her ex husband's (and B's dad's) memorial service (B's dad sadly died around two weeks ago. They weren't close, hence them going ahead with the trip, but it is still a death in the family I suppose.) However we did get the impression it was sort of an excuse to leave early because A had decided the beach was rubbish.

Me and BF had seen a boating lake and some gardens that would have been nice to explore and the whole idea of paying for a hotel was so we could have two full days away, so we told them we'd get the train back so we could stay later. So they left in the car at 1pm and we stayed longer and have come home on the train.

We are a bit pissed off about her changing the hotel without telling us and leaving early when we agreed on two full days, so have agreed we probs won't see them again.

OP posts:

Willmafrockfit · 31/07/2023 08:18

still dont understand why you want money for a tent that you would keep afterwards

Herejusttocomment · 31/07/2023 08:27

@PinkStarAtNight that sounds like a pretty shit weekend, sorry it turned out that way...

FairytaleOfLancashire · 31/07/2023 08:55

This cannot POSSIBLY be real?😂 😂 😂 😂

VERY selfish of his dad to die and spoil your trip.

Ah well. You won't see them again.

Their loss eh?

GrinAndVomit · 31/07/2023 09:05

FairytaleOfLancashire · 31/07/2023 08:55

This cannot POSSIBLY be real?😂 😂 😂 😂

VERY selfish of his dad to die and spoil your trip.

Ah well. You won't see them again.

Their loss eh?

“I suppose…”
😂😂

FairytaleOfLancashire · 31/07/2023 09:50

GrinAndVomit · 31/07/2023 09:05

“I suppose…”
😂😂

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They weren't even close, either!

Unbelievable. <SMH>

SO selfish.

Batalax · 31/07/2023 10:04

So as expected then. Why did you agree to let her book the hotel, knowing she has form for cocking it up?
Im glad the friendship is over. You seriously need to work on your assertiveness and establishing boundaries for future relationships.

Pluffe · 31/07/2023 11:32

FairytaleOfLancashire · 31/07/2023 08:55

This cannot POSSIBLY be real?😂 😂 😂 😂

VERY selfish of his dad to die and spoil your trip.

Ah well. You won't see them again.

Their loss eh?

🤣

Original poster

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 11:42

GrinAndVomit · 31/07/2023 09:05

“I suppose…”
😂😂

Show quote history

If losing his Dad was having such an impact on him they could have cancelled the trip. His dad died two weeks before the trip was due to go ahead. I just think its rude to go ahead with a trip that you've planned with someone else, you've all agreed to spend money on a hotel to give you two full days at the destination, and then say you want to leave early the next day.

It was because his mum apparently wanted help planning the memorial. We're just thinking, could he not have said something like 'so sorry mum, we've actually come away for the weekend with a couple friend of ours and we agreed to stay until this evening, it would be unfair on them for us to drag them home early so is it OK if we come over later this evening/tomorrow evening etc?'

Its not like the death had literally just happened. If the memorial plans hadn't been made by this point how could it really have been so urgent to do it that afternoon, when you're away on a pre-planned trip that you decided to go ahead with and have driven two other people there in your car, they have paid you petrol money for this and paid for a hotel on the basis that it would give you two full days?

You really see nothing even slightly rude in what they did?

In order to stay the full day as we had planned we had to pay even more money for a train home which was £50, on top of the petrol money we already gave them which was for a journey there AND back.

Also, aside from all this we have a strong suspicion the excuse was made up anyway as they were saying on Saturday evening that they needed to be home by 5pm, which would mean leaving at 3pm, because of something to do with the car. The next morning it was clear that A didn't want to go to the beach again and was a bit done with the weekend in general, and then suddenly at 12pm it changed to 'we need to leave in an hour due to B's dad etc. They have form for cancelling things last minute and making up excuses so it seems likely this was the same.

OP posts:

CherryMaDeara · 31/07/2023 11:47

I would be asking them for the petrol money for the journey back if it's more than a tenner. The friendship is dead anyway.

I can't believe you're not saying 'I will never see them again'.

Beenhereforever1978 · 31/07/2023 11:52

@PinkStarAtNight I think, after following this thread all the way through, that the moral of the story is you should buy your own tent, go where you want in it, and not let anyone in without charging entry via a small ticket booth. Your partner included. 😃

lostinfusion · 31/07/2023 12:06

Get a big one & charge an entrance fee

widowtwankywashroom · 31/07/2023 12:19

So much fuss over a weekend away
Maybe your friends were planning on staying all day
But after a rubbish day on the Saturday a shit nights sleep and grieving they just thought Screw it we're done

Original poster

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 12:27

Batalax · 31/07/2023 10:04

So as expected then. Why did you agree to let her book the hotel, knowing she has form for cocking it up?
Im glad the friendship is over. You seriously need to work on your assertiveness and establishing boundaries for future relationships.

Because I said to her that she needed to check with me first before booking and she said she would. She actually did check the first hotel with me, by sending me the link and the price and saying 'I'm going to book this is that OK?' and I said yes. Just never imagined we would get outside the hotel and she would say she'd switched it without telling me. They keep surprising me with what they're capable of tbh.

OP posts:

Original poster

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 13:20

widowtwankywashroom · 31/07/2023 12:19

So much fuss over a weekend away
Maybe your friends were planning on staying all day
But after a rubbish day on the Saturday a shit nights sleep and grieving they just thought Screw it we're done

And you think its perfectly fine and not at all rude to say 'screw it we're done' when there's two other people involved who are relying on you for a lift home, so if you leave early it means that they are either forced to leave early also, or pay out for trains when that was never part of the plan?

If they had said upfront when we were discussing this that they would want to leave early the next day we would have said there's no point paying for a hotel then.

OP posts:

EasyCosUrBeautiful · 31/07/2023 13:27

A303 · 25/07/2023 17:55

There are beaches one can go to where you take all your clothes off.

What one does is take a large black bin bag with a towel inside. When it rains one takes ones clothes off completely and puts them in the bag, then tie the ends tightly together to keep the bag closed. When the rain stops open the bag, remove towel and dry off before getting dressed in the dry clothes.

If you want to keep your hair dry, then before closing the bag put head inside and draw the ends shut.

It’s a few days later but this did make me laugh 😂😂😂

MimiSunshine · 31/07/2023 13:33

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/07/2023 22:55

We holiday in the UK and always take a pop up festival tent.

We always get funny looks on the beach the first day but by day 3 the beach is always full of them, you see people walking out of the two main camping shops with them!

We do it for two reasons. One, the main one, is that it is safer for eating lunch. If you are out in theopen the seagulls will dive bomb and nick your food right out of your hands. Eating in the tent stops this. The second is the weather. A ten minute shower is fine just sitting the tent, and it usually stops just as everyone else has managed to pack up all their stuff to leave.

Other benefits are that it keeps bags etc safer than having them lying around where they could easily be pinched if you lose concentration for a moment, easily done especially if you have kids. And privacy for changing clothes without having to do the towel fandango!

Where on earth do you go that people give beach tents a funny look?

any beach with families on in the U.K. is filled with beach tents

sandyhappypeople · 31/07/2023 13:40

I’m not sure I understand how it was YOUR trip (you and partners) originally that you said they basically invited themselves along to, but THEY have booked the hotel and THEY’VE driven you all there..

if YOU had organised, surely you’d have booked the hotel and sorted transport?

why did you expect them to do all that when it was your trip that they invited themselves on to it?

FairytaleOfLancashire · 31/07/2023 15:01

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 11:42

If losing his Dad was having such an impact on him they could have cancelled the trip. His dad died two weeks before the trip was due to go ahead. I just think its rude to go ahead with a trip that you've planned with someone else, you've all agreed to spend money on a hotel to give you two full days at the destination, and then say you want to leave early the next day.

It was because his mum apparently wanted help planning the memorial. We're just thinking, could he not have said something like 'so sorry mum, we've actually come away for the weekend with a couple friend of ours and we agreed to stay until this evening, it would be unfair on them for us to drag them home early so is it OK if we come over later this evening/tomorrow evening etc?'

Its not like the death had literally just happened. If the memorial plans hadn't been made by this point how could it really have been so urgent to do it that afternoon, when you're away on a pre-planned trip that you decided to go ahead with and have driven two other people there in your car, they have paid you petrol money for this and paid for a hotel on the basis that it would give you two full days?

You really see nothing even slightly rude in what they did?

In order to stay the full day as we had planned we had to pay even more money for a train home which was £50, on top of the petrol money we already gave them which was for a journey there AND back.

Also, aside from all this we have a strong suspicion the excuse was made up anyway as they were saying on Saturday evening that they needed to be home by 5pm, which would mean leaving at 3pm, because of something to do with the car. The next morning it was clear that A didn't want to go to the beach again and was a bit done with the weekend in general, and then suddenly at 12pm it changed to 'we need to leave in an hour due to B's dad etc. They have form for cancelling things last minute and making up excuses so it seems likely this was the same.

Show quote history

God you're right. His mum sounds a demanding cow as well. 'wanting help with his (not even THAT recently passed) dad's memorial'
Must run in that family.
I'm not surprised you're suspicious that they are making excuses it all just sounds too flimsy doesn't it?

It really just sounds like they couldn't stand another moment on the weekend away with you that they've used the excuse of his dad's death and this crap about a memorial as an excuse to get the fuck out of there and as far away from you and your tent.

Unbelievably rude.

OP, drop them. And get friends who deserve a space in your tent.

Hugs.

Original poster

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 16:32

sandyhappypeople · 31/07/2023 13:40

I’m not sure I understand how it was YOUR trip (you and partners) originally that you said they basically invited themselves along to, but THEY have booked the hotel and THEY’VE driven you all there..

if YOU had organised, surely you’d have booked the hotel and sorted transport?

why did you expect them to do all that when it was your trip that they invited themselves on to it?

We hadn't booked or arranged anything when I mentioned it on the night out. We mentioned it, they said 'hey why don't we all go together? We can go in our car' and it went from there. A then hopped onto booking.com and started looking at hotels in the seaside town we had said we were interested in and said 'I'm good at booking hotels, leave it with me.'

She has a way of being really decisive/assertive that you can't really argue with her. I did say to her that I have a thing about bathrooms especially, needing them to be extra clean etc so could she please check with me before she booked anything so I could look at the photos/read the reviews etc before agreeing. She said of course she would, and she did check with me the first time...she just changed the hotel without checking with me a second time and I turned up in the seaside town expecting to go to X hotel, but we parked outside Y and that was when she told me she'd had to change it! How was I supposed to foresee that???

We didn't EXPECT them to do anything. It was more a case of them saying 'that's an amazing idea, right I'll tell you what we'll all go together! I'll drive, we'll split the petrol money, ooh let me look at hotels...I'm good at booking hotels, leave it with me I'll sort it.'

If me and BF had gone alone we would have gone on train, but it would have been pre-planned that way so we would have been able to pre-book cheaper tickets, instead of buying them last min on the day and paying a fortune because we weren't expecting it, as well as having paid towards petrol.

OP posts:

WiddlinDiddlin · 31/07/2023 17:12

Urgh, fuck them - I'd buy the nicest tent, fluffy throw, lovely book, Pimms in a can (x lots) and when I got to the beach I'd take my tent, fuck off far far away from them with it, dig a moat, construct a fucking portcullis out of driftwood and retreat into my tent-castle any time it rained, snuggled up in my blanket with m'book and possibly with the BF ... and leave the two CF's out in the rain.

They sound bloody awful and if you end up going to cafes/arcades with them when its raining they'll be nagging you for some of your chips, money for the arcades etc etc.

sandyhappypeople · 31/07/2023 17:19

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 16:32

We hadn't booked or arranged anything when I mentioned it on the night out. We mentioned it, they said 'hey why don't we all go together? We can go in our car' and it went from there. A then hopped onto booking.com and started looking at hotels in the seaside town we had said we were interested in and said 'I'm good at booking hotels, leave it with me.'

She has a way of being really decisive/assertive that you can't really argue with her. I did say to her that I have a thing about bathrooms especially, needing them to be extra clean etc so could she please check with me before she booked anything so I could look at the photos/read the reviews etc before agreeing. She said of course she would, and she did check with me the first time...she just changed the hotel without checking with me a second time and I turned up in the seaside town expecting to go to X hotel, but we parked outside Y and that was when she told me she'd had to change it! How was I supposed to foresee that???

We didn't EXPECT them to do anything. It was more a case of them saying 'that's an amazing idea, right I'll tell you what we'll all go together! I'll drive, we'll split the petrol money, ooh let me look at hotels...I'm good at booking hotels, leave it with me I'll sort it.'

If me and BF had gone alone we would have gone on train, but it would have been pre-planned that way so we would have been able to pre-book cheaper tickets, instead of buying them last min on the day and paying a fortune because we weren't expecting it, as well as having paid towards petrol.

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My mistake then, apologies, the way you’ve talked about them and the way they take over and muscle in on everything made it sound like you had booked a trip and they invited themselves on it after you ‘accidentally’ mentioned it, when really it sounds like they’ve booked and organised the trip for you all to go.

you’re making them out to be terrible selfish people, but really they’re just tight-fisted, and you seem happy for them to take the lead which puts you in this position of being unhappy with their choices all the time.

TBH I don’t like it when people refuse to organise anything then moan about everything when someone else does it to be honest, if you are so particular you probably should have pre-organised the times and booked the hotel yourself, not left it up to them to sort everything our while you whittle on about a beach tent and who should pay for it.. i was totally with you in the beginning but I can’t really figure out who the choosy beggars are in the scenario anymore!

Herejusttocomment · 31/07/2023 22:04

I don't know how people still have a self-esteem after posting anything on MN. This corner of the internet is like Tattle Life for common folk! 🤦‍♀️

widowtwankywashroom · 02/08/2023 19:58

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 13:20

And you think its perfectly fine and not at all rude to say 'screw it we're done' when there's two other people involved who are relying on you for a lift home, so if you leave early it means that they are either forced to leave early also, or pay out for trains when that was never part of the plan?

If they had said upfront when we were discussing this that they would want to leave early the next day we would have said there's no point paying for a hotel then.

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They didn't plan on leaving early - Saturday was crap - their dad has died - yes it was off of them to leave you stranded but bloody hell I don't blame them for going

KSJR · 12/08/2023 00:48

PinkStarAtNight · 31/07/2023 11:42

If losing his Dad was having such an impact on him they could have cancelled the trip. His dad died two weeks before the trip was due to go ahead. I just think its rude to go ahead with a trip that you've planned with someone else, you've all agreed to spend money on a hotel to give you two full days at the destination, and then say you want to leave early the next day.

It was because his mum apparently wanted help planning the memorial. We're just thinking, could he not have said something like 'so sorry mum, we've actually come away for the weekend with a couple friend of ours and we agreed to stay until this evening, it would be unfair on them for us to drag them home early so is it OK if we come over later this evening/tomorrow evening etc?'

Its not like the death had literally just happened. If the memorial plans hadn't been made by this point how could it really have been so urgent to do it that afternoon, when you're away on a pre-planned trip that you decided to go ahead with and have driven two other people there in your car, they have paid you petrol money for this and paid for a hotel on the basis that it would give you two full days?

You really see nothing even slightly rude in what they did?

In order to stay the full day as we had planned we had to pay even more money for a train home which was £50, on top of the petrol money we already gave them which was for a journey there AND back.

Also, aside from all this we have a strong suspicion the excuse was made up anyway as they were saying on Saturday evening that they needed to be home by 5pm, which would mean leaving at 3pm, because of something to do with the car. The next morning it was clear that A didn't want to go to the beach again and was a bit done with the weekend in general, and then suddenly at 12pm it changed to 'we need to leave in an hour due to B's dad etc. They have form for cancelling things last minute and making up excuses so it seems likely this was the same.

Show quote history

You’ve got enough cheek to warrant another asshole !! As tight as a crabs ass by the sounds of it aswell !! His dad has died for gods sake and his mum will be going through one of the hardest times of her life. If she needs family around her and they have to leave to be with her then so be it!! My god it’s a sea side weekend away not a 2 week all inclusive in the Bahamas get some perspective