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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let them in the tent

300 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 25/07/2023 16:53

So this is kind of lighthearted, its not an argument but I'm just wondering what others would do...

So my BF, myself and our couple friends are planning a weekend at the beach this weekend. I'm worried about the weather as the forecast says wind and rain, but it doesn't look like its going to get much better throughout August so the consensus is that we should just go this weekend and make the best of it. Hotel booked.

I suggested buying one of those pop up beach tents so that if it rains we could get under that until it stops. I said to BF that we could split the cost. BF said he doesn't want to do that, because then who would own the tent? (we don't live together) so he thinks it will be complicated and besides he doesn't think we need a tent anyway, he said if it rains we'll just go into the arcade or something. I said that would mean moving all the stuff off the beach and the rain might only last for 15 mins/half an hour as it says intervals of rain...we're planning to spend all day on the beach for two days so I really want a tent just to bob under if it gets rainy.

I haven't asked our couple friends but I doubt they'll agree to share the cost as they're a bit like BF and will say its an unnecessary cost, we don't need it etc, they're quite tight with money as is BF.

So, I'm looking at tents on Amazon and thinking of just buying one for myself. There's different sizes for 2 people, 4 people etc all at different prices. It can go up to £50 or more if you want a family one to fit 4 people in.

Now I just KNOW that if I buy and take along the tent and it starts raining, they're all going to get into it aren't they? Of course they are, if its there. So I'm thinking should I get a 4 person one? Or should I get a smaller, cheaper 2 person one and risk it being a real squish when they all try to chamber in with me when the heavens open.

Although I'll be the one who fully owns it afterwards, it will mildly annoy me if they all get in but didn't want to pay towards it. And I'm not sure how I feel about paying more money for a 4 person one to make room for them when they're not paying towards it. I could just get a small one that's just big enough for me, but then they might all squish in with me and that will be annoying.

So, WWYD? Would you buy the tent and say to them that its yours and they're not getting in because they didn't pay towards it? Or would you cover the cost yourself, for a 4 person one, and let them share even though they're not paying?

I know this is a first world problem and I'm not making an argument with anyone over it, I'm just quietly wondering whether or not to share the tent and wondered what others would do in this situation. Am I being really petty by wanting to say that its my tent and just for me because they don't want to pay towards it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Confusion101 · 27/07/2023 23:08

PinkStarAtNight · 27/07/2023 11:28

They clearly are tent on the beach people because they've said a tent is a great idea and they're bringing theirs

The big 4 person tents I was looking at were £50. Great for you if £50 is small change and not worth even thinking about, but its not like that for me. I can quite easily afford a weekend away to the beach which all in all will cost around £100 for the hotel, petrol, food etc...but that doesn't mean I have the type of income where I'm happy to spend £50 on a tent that others refuse to pay towards but then reap the benefits of - and as I said before, it was also about the principle as well as the money

Show quote history

But the couple that are letting you use their tent once paid for the tent that they maybe had to really consider buying because of its cost and you are reaping the benefits. This is a vicious circle.... If you bought the tent then you would own and have it for whatever uses you want in the future, including going to the beach with other friends....

You were being unreasonable but I'm happy it worked out for you and even more happy you get to be smug onfront of the BF that told you it was a bad idea 😂

VivX · 28/07/2023 01:38

This trip sounds utterly joyless what with potential stand-offs over a tent in the rain and fending off freeloaders every mealtime / every time a bill needs splitting.

Buy the tent or don't buy the tent, whatever. But rid yourself of these people while you still have a bit of life left in you.

SimplicityHurts · 28/07/2023 02:16

This thread can't be for real, surely?! Am I the only one absolutely howling at the image of 4 adults squished inside a pop up tent in the pissing down rain on a beach, whilst the rest of the world are being normal and having a pint in a pub whilst they wait for the weather to pass.. This is pure madness! Sorry op, if you are being real, but thank you for making me laugh.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 28/07/2023 03:12

This thread is wild. I'm in Australia where we use beach tents to avoid the sun not the rain. Do people really sit on the beach in the lashing rain now? I don't remember people doing this when I lived in the UK, that's when you go to the arcade, or pub, or caravan or hotel. I just can't imagine huddling in a tent in the rain with a thermos and soggy sandwiches, any time I've been camping in the rain has been pretty crap, and that's in a proper tent not on the beach. And as for pizza gate, fucking hell. You all sound completely mad!

sashh · 28/07/2023 08:09

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 28/07/2023 03:12

This thread is wild. I'm in Australia where we use beach tents to avoid the sun not the rain. Do people really sit on the beach in the lashing rain now? I don't remember people doing this when I lived in the UK, that's when you go to the arcade, or pub, or caravan or hotel. I just can't imagine huddling in a tent in the rain with a thermos and soggy sandwiches, any time I've been camping in the rain has been pretty crap, and that's in a proper tent not on the beach. And as for pizza gate, fucking hell. You all sound completely mad!

You have forgotten what British summers can be like. It might be scorching in the morning, then about 11.00 am there is a torrential downpour, possibly with thunder and lightening.

So you start to pack up, and just as you are putting the last towel in your bag it's sunny again.

RampantIvy · 28/07/2023 08:18

I don't understand why you spend so much time with these people. Life is too short to be with people who bring nothing positive to your life.

Are you both people pleasers? They will continue to take the piss because you allow it.

mumofmanybusykids · 28/07/2023 08:29

So if it rains, you're planning on just sitting in a tent on the beach doing nothing? Your BF is right, you'll adapt your plans; go to an arcade, a pub, have a meal etc...when it rains no one is going to be sitting in a tent waiting for the rain to stop so that they can then sit on a soaking wet beach under cloudy skies!

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 28/07/2023 09:46

sashh · 28/07/2023 08:09

You have forgotten what British summers can be like. It might be scorching in the morning, then about 11.00 am there is a torrential downpour, possibly with thunder and lightening.

So you start to pack up, and just as you are putting the last towel in your bag it's sunny again.

Show quote history

Exactly this, thank you @sashh

I'm surprised by all the comments saying a tent is completely unnecessary and if it rains just leave the beach and go to the pub...the weather forecast says there will be scattered showers, so I'm expecting exactly what @sashh says and that they'll be maybe ten minutes of rain before it clears and gets nice again. I'm not packing everything up and heading to the pub for ten minutes! That would be silly.

Of course, if it started raining really heabily and wasn't stopping, then I wouldn't sit there in a tent for an hour with the rain lashing down. That would be the point when I decided to give up and go to the pub. But that decision would be made thinking that we wouldn't be going back and 'beach day' was over. Ideally I'd like to stay on the beach. I'm going for the beach itself, not the arcades or the pub.

OP posts:
Pluffe · 28/07/2023 13:52

Op I thought of you yesterday. I took dc to the playground and the moment we got there the heavens opened and everyone cleared out. Dc were wearing raincoats and I had an umbrella, so I sat on a bench and waited for it to pass. It was sunny after 5 minutes. Usually I’d leave too 😂

Deathinvegas · 28/07/2023 17:04

So you want to charge your bf and friends rent for using your tent yes YABU.

Maddy70 · 28/07/2023 17:22

I wouldn't want to sit in a tent in the rain I'd rather leave the beach and go for a drink or a wander round the shops

Herejusttocomment · 28/07/2023 17:23

I'd buy a UV pop up tent, just a small one if it would be mine.

What could you do with more, a 2 person tent or 4 person tent? If you end up owning it then but with the future in mind i.e. where and when you're going to use the tent again.

I don't understand some PPs these tents are very useful, especially if you have children. We also use ours in the garden if we're not going to the beach.

Herejusttocomment · 28/07/2023 17:23

Buy not but 😂

Herejusttocomment · 28/07/2023 17:27

Oh just realised I only answered one part of the dilemma. Yeah, I'd let them share, they're supposed to be friends but if anyone complains about being squashed, I'd show them where the pub is that they love so much 😂

CalMeKate · 28/07/2023 18:43

I have lost the plot about whether I think a tent is a good idea or not.

What I need to know after the weekend is did you buy a tent? Did it rain? Did you let them in? Did you have fun? I need all the details. I’m too invested in this to not know the outcome!

longestlurkerever · 28/07/2023 23:02

I confess I'm retracting my previous comment. I was in the "you're outvoted, you can't buy a tent for just you," camp but I don't feel anywhere near as strongly as many other posters. If you really want a tent and will get value from it, buy one. When it rains and everyone's heading to the pub say something like "I know I'm weird but I really like the idea of being alone on the beach in my tent in the rain. You go ahead. I'll be fine here with my book". Bit don't resent them for not paying into the tent. It's a bit controlling to think they should fall in with your idea of how things should go.

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 29/07/2023 01:36

longestlurkerever · 28/07/2023 23:02

I confess I'm retracting my previous comment. I was in the "you're outvoted, you can't buy a tent for just you," camp but I don't feel anywhere near as strongly as many other posters. If you really want a tent and will get value from it, buy one. When it rains and everyone's heading to the pub say something like "I know I'm weird but I really like the idea of being alone on the beach in my tent in the rain. You go ahead. I'll be fine here with my book". Bit don't resent them for not paying into the tent. It's a bit controlling to think they should fall in with your idea of how things should go.

You, like many others, are assuming that the others definitely will not want to go into the tent. If I knew this for a fact and was absolutely sure that none of the others would be interested in going into the tent, then I'd be perfectly happy to buy it for myself and enjoy it while they went off to the pub.

My issue was that knowing my BF the way I do I just KNEW that he would be getting in the tent saying 'this was such a good idea I'm so glad you brought this', after saying that we really didn't need a tent and he didn't want to go halves on it because it was an unnecessary purchase.

I've already said I made a mistake by assuming that the friends would do the same. I asked them about it, they said a tent was a great idea and it's been resolved. I learned my lesson to never assume what people will do and prejudge them on it. I've said all this in my updates.

The thing is that at the time of writing this post I really thought that everyone would refuse to pay towards the tent, call me silly for wanting one (like many people on this thread have) but then be right there ready to jump in it when needed.

But if you don't understand that then fine. I'm tired of explaining it tbh

OP posts:
RootbeerLolly · 29/07/2023 01:44

FionnulaTheCooler · 25/07/2023 16:57

I think your BF has a point about leaving the beach and doing something else if it rains. Spending a day on the beach crammed into a tent in the pissing rain with 3 other adults sounds like hell to me, I'd go and find a pub instead.

This.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 29/07/2023 03:38

sashh · 28/07/2023 08:09

You have forgotten what British summers can be like. It might be scorching in the morning, then about 11.00 am there is a torrential downpour, possibly with thunder and lightening.

So you start to pack up, and just as you are putting the last towel in your bag it's sunny again.

Show quote history

No, I haven't forgotten the weather. I lived in the Uk and Ireland for over thirty years after all, mostly near the beach. I remember people walking on the beach in all weathers, swimming too. I do not remember people sitting on the beach in the rain in beach tents! That's when you go the arcade/shops/pub/play cards in the caravan/get fish and chips/go home!

FairytaleOfLancashire · 30/07/2023 09:47

THEY are quite tight with money?

And you are...? 😂 Bitching about giving shelter to your FRIENDS because YOU paid for the tent you wanted? 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

FOOOOKIN HELL!

homeforme · 30/07/2023 10:19

I'm surprised by all the comments saying a tent is completely unnecessary and if it rains just leave the beach and go to the pub...the weather forecast says there will be scattered showers, so I'm expecting exactly what @sashh says and that they'll be maybe ten minutes of rain before it clears and gets nice again. I'm not packing everything up and heading to the pub for ten minutes! That would be silly.

Take an umbrella then?

zingally · 30/07/2023 11:10

You're massively over-thinking this.

And no-one is actually going to want to spend 2 full days exclusively sitting on a beach, in England, in anything less than blazing sun. Of course they'll want to break it up with time in cafes, pubs, arcades etc.

If you're based in a hotel, take out what you'll want for maybe 2 or 3 hours on the beach (a backpack each?) and a raincoat. Job done.

Mrsgreen100 · 30/07/2023 12:56

This whole thread is ridiculous, get new friends or just go with your boyfriend.
It’s bonkers, nit picking around just let them go bail out

notjaneausten · 30/07/2023 19:13

I haven't laughed so much for ages...

GoodChat · 30/07/2023 19:22

How did it go, OP? Nice tent?