Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let them in the tent

300 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 25/07/2023 16:53

So this is kind of lighthearted, its not an argument but I'm just wondering what others would do...

So my BF, myself and our couple friends are planning a weekend at the beach this weekend. I'm worried about the weather as the forecast says wind and rain, but it doesn't look like its going to get much better throughout August so the consensus is that we should just go this weekend and make the best of it. Hotel booked.

I suggested buying one of those pop up beach tents so that if it rains we could get under that until it stops. I said to BF that we could split the cost. BF said he doesn't want to do that, because then who would own the tent? (we don't live together) so he thinks it will be complicated and besides he doesn't think we need a tent anyway, he said if it rains we'll just go into the arcade or something. I said that would mean moving all the stuff off the beach and the rain might only last for 15 mins/half an hour as it says intervals of rain...we're planning to spend all day on the beach for two days so I really want a tent just to bob under if it gets rainy.

I haven't asked our couple friends but I doubt they'll agree to share the cost as they're a bit like BF and will say its an unnecessary cost, we don't need it etc, they're quite tight with money as is BF.

So, I'm looking at tents on Amazon and thinking of just buying one for myself. There's different sizes for 2 people, 4 people etc all at different prices. It can go up to £50 or more if you want a family one to fit 4 people in.

Now I just KNOW that if I buy and take along the tent and it starts raining, they're all going to get into it aren't they? Of course they are, if its there. So I'm thinking should I get a 4 person one? Or should I get a smaller, cheaper 2 person one and risk it being a real squish when they all try to chamber in with me when the heavens open.

Although I'll be the one who fully owns it afterwards, it will mildly annoy me if they all get in but didn't want to pay towards it. And I'm not sure how I feel about paying more money for a 4 person one to make room for them when they're not paying towards it. I could just get a small one that's just big enough for me, but then they might all squish in with me and that will be annoying.

So, WWYD? Would you buy the tent and say to them that its yours and they're not getting in because they didn't pay towards it? Or would you cover the cost yourself, for a 4 person one, and let them share even though they're not paying?

I know this is a first world problem and I'm not making an argument with anyone over it, I'm just quietly wondering whether or not to share the tent and wondered what others would do in this situation. Am I being really petty by wanting to say that its my tent and just for me because they don't want to pay towards it?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Cappucino23 · 26/07/2023 21:19

I couldn’t imagine giving this much of a shit about a tent. You seem petty and childish. Get a grip

Oceanus · 26/07/2023 21:20

Goodness me OP. Can't you grasp the lack of common sense moneywise that buying a tent for such a purpose would entail? Who would get to keep it...? The buyer i.e. you? How would you split it? Saturday for you, monday for these other friends?
The difference between the crisps and a tent is that crisps are edible. So whoever chips in gets to enjoy it till the end. Nobody (with good old common sense) takes the crisps home to finish off (well, except the usual CFs I mean 😆). Who would keep this tent after it's been used this time?
I bought a bunch of stuff when I first moved into a flat with "friends" from uni. Never got the money back from some people, then I moved and it all got left behind. Buy things for you. Going halves like this is almost always a waste of money. Sooner or later somebody wins and somebody loses.

Oceanus · 26/07/2023 21:22

Shona52 · 26/07/2023 21:13

Charge 50% admission fee to you BF when the time comes when he needs to come in for cover

Sorry but I have to disagree! Assuming the BF is going to shag be nice to her, he should get a better deal? Otherwise what's in it for him? 😁😎😘

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/07/2023 21:26

@PinkStarAtNight But you're obviously a tent on the beach person, so once you have a tent you'll have it for all future beach trips, with or without those friends and BF (unless he takes the pegs and poles in the 'divorce').

They're clearly not tent in the rain on the beach people, so why would they need to specifically contribute to a tent they'd likely never have use of again unless with you?

I know everyone's financial situation is different but by god if shares in a £20 beach tent was causing me this much handwringing I wouldn't be splashing on a weekend away in the first place.

Shona52 · 26/07/2023 21:28

The shag 😂

WTFAreYouForReal · 26/07/2023 21:34

EarringsandLipstick · 25/07/2023 21:01

This!

@jazzybelle I've never known someone find it so hard to grasp a very straightforward situation & be so insistent that you are right!

Show quote history

You must be new here 😂

Redragtoabull · 26/07/2023 21:47

Umbrellla / Tent for 1?
Personally rather be spending my 2ps that no-one wants in an arcade that no-one wants. Each to their zone 😅

Cherry8809 · 26/07/2023 22:02

OP fending off non tent-contributing bf

To not let them in the tent
Oceanus · 26/07/2023 22:12

@Cherry8809 😂😂 😂

GrinAndVomit · 26/07/2023 22:16

PinkStarAtNight · 26/07/2023 21:03

@RatherBeMutton @GrinAndVomit @QueSyrahSyrah

And if they charge you an entrance fee/ask that you contribute to the cost before letting you in, are they being unreasonable?

Why are you expecting to be able to use their tent? You weren’t going to let them oryour boyfriend. You still think your boyfriend shouldn’t.

Brace yourselves for paying for their dinner, in return for sharing their tent.
It's only fair given you were begrudging sharing your imaginary tent with them without any contribution.

There's always some 🙄

The difference is that I don't already own a tent so was going to buy a new one specifically for this purpose. Of course, if I had already had a tent lying around that I already owned I would just take it along and we could all use it, because why not? I would have bought it previously and would now just have it. It makes sense to share what you already have. But, if I don't already have something and will need to pay out money for it, for a particular purpose that others will also be a part of and they will benefit from my purchase then they should contribute...I really didn't think that was such a weird concept.

Genuinely, if my friends or boyfriends were as petty and Penny pinching as you, it would have made spending time with them absolutely unbearable.

BrokeTheDietAgain · 26/07/2023 22:27

Well, in my experience of wet beach days - it's kind of tradition to head off for a chippy, or to the arcade or something when it rains.

If my pal had bought along a tent in case it rained, I'd probably ask to get in to show her what a great idea she had had! Although inside I'd be pissed off she'd bought it along and wishing we could just go to the pub/chippy/arcade like everyone else!

So if you bring it, and they all come in, then to be fair none of you will be happy!! They will be coming in it to make you feel better, but you'll be seething they didn't chip in. Meanwhile you'd all b far happier at the pub!

So....moral of the story - don't bring the tent and make sure you are not too much of a walk away from chippy/pub/arcade

LpPp · 26/07/2023 22:30

Hire a beach hut for the day instead.

Mrsgreen100 · 26/07/2023 23:26

Umbrella
what is this tent nonsense
was of money and will end up in landfill

Mrsgreen100 · 26/07/2023 23:26

Waste not was

Iolani · 27/07/2023 02:15

Wow 10 pages OP about a tent for the beach.
MN ability to talk at length about just about everything never seaces to amaze me.

JillinSwindon · 27/07/2023 06:10

Buy the 4 person tent and embrace the outdoor life! A new world awaits you - it's like playing house for grown ups. Bigger tent means more indoor space, even if there's only two of you - or one, come to that. I've been a camper since childhood - our kids used to love it, and indeed we've recently had a week's holiday with DH, 2 DD and the partner of one (female). They are late 20s/ early 30s. All in our giant family sized tent. I'm off on a solo camping trip to the mighty Sidmouth Folk festival next week - in my little pop up tent. I'm 67. Just hope it stops raining!

...I was actually conceived during a wet camping holiday on Skye....as my dear old dad used to love telling people!

YerArseInParsley · 27/07/2023 10:57

Buy the tent but your going to look very silly being the only one on the beach in a tent when it's chucking it down and everyone else has p!ssed off lol what you going to do, wait there by yourself until your friends come back? No-one will want to stay on the beach with the rain on and off all day and the sand being wet.

Original poster
PinkStarAtNight · 27/07/2023 11:28

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/07/2023 21:26

@PinkStarAtNight But you're obviously a tent on the beach person, so once you have a tent you'll have it for all future beach trips, with or without those friends and BF (unless he takes the pegs and poles in the 'divorce').

They're clearly not tent in the rain on the beach people, so why would they need to specifically contribute to a tent they'd likely never have use of again unless with you?

I know everyone's financial situation is different but by god if shares in a £20 beach tent was causing me this much handwringing I wouldn't be splashing on a weekend away in the first place.

They clearly are tent on the beach people because they've said a tent is a great idea and they're bringing theirs

The big 4 person tents I was looking at were £50. Great for you if £50 is small change and not worth even thinking about, but its not like that for me. I can quite easily afford a weekend away to the beach which all in all will cost around £100 for the hotel, petrol, food etc...but that doesn't mean I have the type of income where I'm happy to spend £50 on a tent that others refuse to pay towards but then reap the benefits of - and as I said before, it was also about the principle as well as the money

OP posts:
behonesthun · 27/07/2023 11:43

What are you going to do on a British beach for two days if your not planning on going to the arcades/markets etc? Sounds like hell to me, I went to the coast a month back and it was freezing. Sitting in a wet tent is pointless when there are plenty of things to do around the beach

EmmaGrundyForPM · 27/07/2023 14:37

behonesthun · 27/07/2023 11:43

What are you going to do on a British beach for two days if your not planning on going to the arcades/markets etc? Sounds like hell to me, I went to the coast a month back and it was freezing. Sitting in a wet tent is pointless when there are plenty of things to do around the beach

You don't have to go to arcades just because you're at the beach!

I love lying on the beach, reading my book, going for a swim, eating ice cream, going for another swim, having a picnic. The beaches I go to most often don't have any arcades.

If its pissing with rain I don't go to the beach, I'll go and do something else.

Prelapsarianhag · 27/07/2023 14:52

Won't they just leave you in the tent looking after all their stuff and you will be stuck there until they decide to return.

Playingchesswithpigeons · 27/07/2023 18:53

OP - I wrote a little rant about my tent & other's peevishness. I didn't answer your question.
You know already you're being petty, you're creating scenarios that havn't even happened. That said ... They already have form for taking the piss!
Text this as an addendum
" Right friends cheeky buggars, I will be getting a tent, I understand you don't want to chip in. This really is okay with me. So will only buy a small one, for 1-2 people to lower cost.
If it does rain I can stay put on the beach & read my book. I'm more than happy to stay put and chill on my own, until you return from the arcades, when the rain stops" ( Let's hope the sun is out all day )
You've now clearly stated your boundaries before your trip.
Don't worry, stress or fret anymore and if your friend's keep taking the piss, set more boundaries & keep them in future, to ensure they don't.
Please update us OP after your trip to the seaside. Enjoy your day

lupeds · 27/07/2023 22:22

I would buy the smallest/cheapest one available and fill it with my stuff with just enough room for me if /when it starts raining... Then when the inevitable happens sit in it proudly and tell them to have fun in the arcades 🤣

Magicmama92 · 27/07/2023 22:27

You can either:
Buy one and come to terms with them using it.
Or
Get a rain coat and umbrella and all go to a pub or arcades if it rains.

Look at other things in the area that are inside so if it does rain you have backup plans like the cinema or any attractions round the area.
You can't get a tent then say no you can't come in. If your serious then make a chat talk to each other like grown ups. Say that you'd like a contribution if it gets used. If not youve bought it and it's fine.

GirlsAndPenguins · 27/07/2023 22:35

Pretty sure beach tents are more to protect you from the sun than the rain, most still have an open side, you are likely to get soaked with or without it!
Use the money in the arcade or pub instead, sitting on the beach all day will get boring.
This is coming from someone who just spent £114 on a pop up beach tent! I have two small children though, we are going on a beach holiday for a week and also use it in the garden for ‘camping’ with dollies. I paid more for one that is more enclosed and spacious, also see it as an investment. I won’t stop my parents coming in though (they are coming on holiday with us) just because I purchased it!