To not let them in the tent

[PinkStarAtNight]

So this is kind of lighthearted, its not an argument but I'm just wondering what others would do...

So my BF, myself and our couple friends are planning a weekend at the beach this weekend. I'm worried about the weather as the forecast says wind and rain, but it doesn't look like its going to get much better throughout August so the consensus is that we should just go this weekend and make the best of it. Hotel booked.

I suggested buying one of those pop up beach tents so that if it rains we could get under that until it stops. I said to BF that we could split the cost. BF said he doesn't want to do that, because then who would own the tent? (we don't live together) so he thinks it will be complicated and besides he doesn't think we need a tent anyway, he said if it rains we'll just go into the arcade or something. I said that would mean moving all the stuff off the beach and the rain might only last for 15 mins/half an hour as it says intervals of rain...we're planning to spend all day on the beach for two days so I really want a tent just to bob under if it gets rainy.

I haven't asked our couple friends but I doubt they'll agree to share the cost as they're a bit like BF and will say its an unnecessary cost, we don't need it etc, they're quite tight with money as is BF.

So, I'm looking at tents on Amazon and thinking of just buying one for myself. There's different sizes for 2 people, 4 people etc all at different prices. It can go up to £50 or more if you want a family one to fit 4 people in.

Now I just KNOW that if I buy and take along the tent and it starts raining, they're all going to get into it aren't they? Of course they are, if its there. So I'm thinking should I get a 4 person one? Or should I get a smaller, cheaper 2 person one and risk it being a real squish when they all try to chamber in with me when the heavens open.

Although I'll be the one who fully owns it afterwards, it will mildly annoy me if they all get in but didn't want to pay towards it. And I'm not sure how I feel about paying more money for a 4 person one to make room for them when they're not paying towards it. I could just get a small one that's just big enough for me, but then they might all squish in with me and that will be annoying.

So, WWYD? Would you buy the tent and say to them that its yours and they're not getting in because they didn't pay towards it? Or would you cover the cost yourself, for a 4 person one, and let them share even though they're not paying?

I know this is a first world problem and I'm not making an argument with anyone over it, I'm just quietly wondering whether or not to share the tent and wondered what others would do in this situation. Am I being really petty by wanting to say that its my tent and just for me because they don't want to pay towards it?

It is obvious whose BF she was talking about seeing as her own BF didn't want peppers which meant they didn't get peppers on their shared pizza.

"When all the food came, she said to (my) BF, who had peppers on his pizza, 'hey give me some of your pizza because you have peppers and I didn't get any"

Why? It doesn't make it clear whose bf. It just says bf. Whose bf? Why on earth would someone demand pizza from someone's else's bf? And 'She spent the whole night trying to wrestle pizza out of his hands.' Really? Trying to grab someone else's pizza out of their hands. For the whole night?! 😆 🤣

Agree

This!

@jazzybelle I've never known someone find it so hard to grasp a very straightforward situation & be so insistent that you are right!

Why on earth would someone demand pizza from someone's else's bf?

A CF would. Which is what the whole thread is pretty much about 🫠

I can see where you’re coming from, and they would irritate me too. I’d send a group message asking if anyone wants to go in on a pop up tent. Say let me know by tomorrow.
They won’t, so buy a nice small one for yourself … and make sure it’s small. Then don’t let them in when it rains lol.
I would be so petty with them.

You're hard work aren't you

This thread is hard work in itself, to be fair.

Get a tent, don't get a tent. Zip yourself into, charge an admission feee, Whatever. If everything you've said about these 'friends' is accurate then you're a mug to be going anywhere with them in the first place TBH.

I love your level of over thinking on this. It’s feels familiar to me in its pettiness 🤭. I have visions of you huddled in there furiously barricading the door as it hammers down inside 🤣

*outside

Buying a tent so you can sit on a miserable rainy beach and not letting your friends use it, is literally the most British thing I've ever read.

Yes. She really did try to wrestle it out of his hands, whilst saying 'don't be tight!'

MY BF ended up putting his pizza box with the rest of his slices up on top of a cupboard where she couldn't reach it. It was the only way to stop her. Ordinarily he would have shared, but this was after the many many times of being overcharged, of her refusing to spend money on rice or fries because she 'didn't need any' but then asking to share ours, drinking our alcohol and the whole brunch thing. We had had enough so my BF point blank refused to give her any pizza. She just wouldn't give up the whole night though, hence him eventually putting it up high.

This whole time she was drinking his rum, and she ended up drinking half the bottle because each time she pours a drink she does half rum half coke in the glass, so basically quadruple measurements each time. She kept saying 'you guys have more money than us and we're skint, so you should give me your rum, its only fair.'

Why are you friends with these people? What redeeming qualities do they have?

They are twats. Friends should never be this much hard work. Get rid of them ( and the boyfriend tbh) and go to the seaside with your tent, book and gin. Choose some new ( and better ) friends.

I have actually tried to break ties but it didn't work. After that night with the pizza BF and I agreed we were done. But, we nothing hate confrontation so we quickly decided against actually saying to them that we don't want to see them anymore because of xyz, also I'm pretty sure that if we tried explaining that we were upset they would just laugh it off, say we're being ridiculous etc because that's what A kept doing all night- 'oh don't be silly I only want a few slices' 'its just a bit of rum' 'why are you being so tight?' 'You've got more money than us' (we really really don't btw, not that it should matter) so I don't think we'd get anywhere.

I decided I would just pull away slowly. So every time she messaged me saying 'hi' or asking for another meet up, I would leave it ages before replying then reply with very small sentences, not ask questions to keep the conversation going and make up excuses as to why we were too busy to meet up. Did this for a couple of months thinking they would eventually get the message but nope...she kept on and on to the point where it was awkward and I started feeling mean, so we eventually gave in and met up again for a night out, which is where I stupidly mentioned the beach idea and they piled on.

There are lots of videos online ( tik tok, you tube) on how to deal with people like this and how to set boundaries. I mean it absolutely seriously. You may find them very useful.

So this is just a bit of a fantasy then to think about refusing to let them in your tent. When in reality you're probably just going to let them wipe their feet on you before they enter first.

Actually the friends will put all their stuff in the tent, followed by themselves. They will then get Op and her boyfriend to sit under the dripping outer canopy whilst they eat the lunch Op has brought ,because they didn't have time / cba to shop and prepare anything.

😂😂😂

Come on OP, for the love of god put the money towards a new backbone rather than a tent.

A beach tent is £9 in Tesco. It has the added advantage of being small enough to only fit you and your stuff in it.

Buy that one and don’t let any of them in!

It all sounds totally ridiculous that grown people can't deal with others. They can't make you socialise with them.

This woman sounds like child and your BF sounds like her parent by putting his pizza in a box on the top of a cupboard and out of her reach. Her pestering all night for a bit of pizza with pepper on it is just mad and unbelievable.

With or without them in tow, sitting on a beach, in wet and windy weather, in a tent or not it, sounds absolutely torturous.

Surely no one would put up with this dreadful behaviour?

We holiday in the UK and always take a pop up festival tent.

We always get funny looks on the beach the first day but by day 3 the beach is always full of them, you see people walking out of the two main camping shops with them!

We do it for two reasons. One, the main one, is that it is safer for eating lunch. If you are out in theopen the seagulls will dive bomb and nick your food right out of your hands. Eating in the tent stops this. The second is the weather. A ten minute shower is fine just sitting the tent, and it usually stops just as everyone else has managed to pack up all their stuff to leave.

Other benefits are that it keeps bags etc safer than having them lying around where they could easily be pinched if you lose concentration for a moment, easily done especially if you have kids. And privacy for changing clothes without having to do the towel fandango!

In your case I would float the idea beforehand and when they all shoot you down say "So if I buy my own, none of you lot will want to use it?!" cue lots of "Of course not!" to which you reply "Well I have it in writing and I will hold you to that! If you change your mind you are welcome to pay the £5 entrance fee!"

Your BF sounds like a charmer though. Who "owns" a £30 festival tent??! Clearly he doesnt see a long term relationship here, DP and I dont live together but have several items that we bought together and live either here or at his and we use them when we need them. If we split up then whoever would use an item more would keep it, but neither of us is as tight as a gnats chuff.

I'm having images of OPs friends all off having fun in the arcade while OP resolutely sits in her tent in the rain, and ends up floating away as the tide comes in. You could be on that Coastguard Rescue programme OP!

Enjoy the beach, then find a pub if it rains.