What do people with no friends do in their spare time?

[Sporty339]

I'm fortunate in that I'm close to my family and have a partner, which may not be the case for everyone.
However they're not always available and plus I don't want to constantly depend on them, so I'm very much on my own sometimes.
I do have one close friend but she's only usually available once a month.
I don't work regular 9-5 hours, partner usually works all weekend.
Currently trying to move on from a group of people I thought were friends but clearly have zero interest in me and atm my mental health is shot to pieces.
Went to the Trafford Centre alone (not sure if anyone's familiar with it) it was absolutely packed out and tbh I just felt uncomfortable walking around on my own.
I am actually quite an introverted person and I do enjoy alone time but not all the time, I do feel very lonely.
Because of my shifts I can't commit to weekly clubs or meetup groups, but I'm currently trying to change my working hours to solve this.
I do have social anxiety and feel very exposed going out alone, I really struggle in crowds especially in such a packed out city like Manchester.
Just interested to hear what others do.

Haven’t read the whole thread but I wondered if you could set up a private “introverted” group on FB / somewhere (I’m in my 50s and not v g with social media).
I read that someone in London (I think?) did something to meet lonely women there and it worked well.
There are many, many of us and by nature we don’t want to go to places where less introverted people go to meet up.
Just a quiet walk around a museum and a cup of tea is my idea of a fantastic day out!
I would be tempted to start it myself if I knew how! X

I suffer from really bad social anxiety as well so can't cope with making or maintaining friendships, im also a disabled ambulatory wheelchair user so that doesn't help. My days are spent watching TV, playing my xbox or PlayStation, browsing social media and reading. I love spending time with my partner & my kids but I do definitely feel lonely at tines.

Online gaming, loads of them have discord chats and similar where you can drop in and out. You tend to find if you play at certain times of day them you bump into the same people. Especially if you join a guild or the game has an 'add a friend' feature. Then you have casual online friends to chat to. 😁

Appreciate that's not a great suggestion if you don't enjoy gaming though

Have you tried cheshire girls hangout - i may have that name slightly wrong. Its a bit broader than cheshire, big age range, people organise various meets

I could have written this too. It is hard to make friends when I am a shy person, and find meeting friends quite a stressful experience with social anxiety.

I think that the children keep me sane (most of the time) and I enjoy spending time with them. However, they are all turning to be teenagers, and I am no longer their favourite person and this has been a little difficult for me too.

I have recently accepted that I have hobbies and want to do things that no one else wants to in my family, so I have discovered going to music concerts on my own, I have an allotment that I spend time doing, I read a lot, I watch TV and I enjoy working at preschool (where I get a good giggle at what they say all day). My DH is a gamer, and I have accepted this about him, I am not able to get excited about this any more than he is about my allotment.

I get lonely too, but I have recently accepted that I am just awful at making friends. I can’t seem to go from chit-chat to anything worth a friendship. Maybe I am missing some sort of social cue. Who knows.

I’m autistic and I know most autistic people feel the same as you. However, logically, of course there are different levels of autism. There isn’t just classic autism, Asperger’s and neurotypical…there’s a spectrum. Well there is a spectrum for every trait associated with autism. And many people are in-between.

I have long standing friends but have also made New friends in many ways - one is an aqua class I have been going to for 5 years - now there is a group of us who also go out for tea occasionally and I am the youngest- the others are all late 50s,.60's, 70s etc and I just don't see the issue with having friends across generations - but I have always had friends across different ages, I would not write people off due to.age.

Start with something you are comfy with like a book group or walking group. Art groups are everywhere now too. Maybe if you like giving back help out at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter. Dog or Cat shelter? just think about what you like doing and then start looking to see what is available. It doesnt matter if you dont go to these things all the time, but it will start you off meeting people.

I found that when I wasn’t feeling confident in myself after a bad break up, I struggled to be in my own company, at home and out and about. I felt sorry for myself and sad that I was spending time alone. I actually went to some counselling which helped massively. I now enjoy my own company and it gave me the confidence to go and meet new people. I joined a run club, got really into gardening, went to a drop in meditation group. It’s really hard feeling lonely so I’m sorry you’re feeling that way.

OP- I don’t know where abouts you live, but I’ve found this resource invaluable. You can find sooo many groups/ resources that are available to you, it’s really worth having a look, it’s so user friendly and I was surprised just how much there was going on that I would never have known about!!!

https://www.treacle.me/

definitely worth a look, I’d be interested in your thoughts, it’s really hedged me! Good luck with it all x

Try the next door app there are others in the same situation and I know one group connected and go out the odd time.

I do-
Dog walks
Pilates
Yoga
Swimming
Watch films
Read
Crossword/quizzes
Go to school events

Hi OP, I feel moved to respond to your situation, as it is similar to how I felt some years ago.
I attended gym and evening classes in arts, crafts and language (no prior knowledge required!) as it supported developing my social skills in a managed environment. There's a tutor who, if any good, will be responsible for encouraging interactions and there's a ready-made topic for discussion, which took the pressure off as I had social anxiety.
Also as you seem to live near Manchester, there is a walking group called MAD (stands for Manchester and District) It is very well organised and walks are great as again, you have the environmental stimulus for conversation, don't have to talk about yourself and don't even have to make eye contact as you are walking along!
It is nerve racking, attending these things for the first time but everyone there either feels the same or will have been in that same position before. I hope you find something that suits you.

I have friends but also like to spend time on my own. I do Duolingo, BBC Maestro courses, gardening, bimble around charity shops, go to the beach, go to National Trust gardens, listen to Audible and Podcasts, go for walks, read books, do jigsaw puzzles, go to museums, get the train to big cities and explore them… lots of stuff. And it’s nice going alone sometimes as you can do exactly what you want.

Have you thought of getting a dog. ? Not only are they great company, you have to
walk a dog which gets you out with a purpose and it’s amazing how people will talk to you if you’ve got a furry friend. I’ve made several friends through meeting with our dogs and we arrange to
walk together.

I can also recommend joining Rock Choir if you are musically inclined. There is nearly always a choir near you. You don’t have to audition or sing on your own. It’s a great therapy for anyone with mental health issues and I’ve met some lovely people.

I much prefer my own company and doing things on my own anyway, so it isn't an issue for me, but I spend a day or two with my partner once a week or every couple of weeks, and once in a blue moon I'll go down to the local pub where I know most of the regulars well enough to sit and chat with them if I want any sort of company.

Apart from that, I'll spend my free time playing instruments, messing around with computers, doing stuff online, or just generally pottering around with housework and so on. I don't crave any more human interaction than I already get, and if you forced me to go one way or the other I'd choose even more time spent on my own.

Because of my shifts I can't commit to weekly clubs or meetup groups, but I'm currently trying to change my working hours to solve this.

Many weekly clubs or meetup groups, or indeed most kinds of volunteer work from helping at a hospice, Guide Leader/helper, community café etc can and will accommodate people that can't go every week. What interest do you have - their is most likely some kind of volunteer opportunity or meeting group that would welcome you.

Totally agree...hate shopping with other people..much more enjoyable alone

Look on the local face book page. There always seems to be lots going on in my area for people of all ages. I know there is a book club meets up in a local cafe and also a walking group. Yoga and excercise clubs too. Also lots for younger mums and a toddlers going on. I have looked at the pictures and they all seem to be about 30 to 50 age range at the book club and walking club. There is also a W I that a lot of younger people have joined. Facebook is the way to go. The thing is once you go to one group you make contacts and there is always someone wanting to go to the cinema or shopping etc.

I do lots of crafty things in my spare time. Less chance now I’ve got kids, but I started out by doing classes and teaching myself using online resources etc.

ministry of craft does lots of great day courses around manchester. If you’re near Stockport, Arc at the hatworks does great classes too. If you’re interested in crafty stuff they’d be worth a look. I’m happy to do most stuff on my own nowadays, and enjoy the time to myself, but I did battle anxiety for many years. I’d also really recommend the book Dare by Barry McDonagh, it’s a game changer anxiety wise!

If you’re interested in crafts skillshare is a good platform too. I started leaning to draw on the iPad a few years ago (first using free tutorials on YouTube) and then using skillshare. I adore it! Always thought I “could draw” but I can create great stuff digitally and it’s so my fun

Following.

Op, have you heard of Social Prescribing?
There are services in every area of Greater Manchester that can work with you to connect you to local groups and activities, and they will know a bit about the make up of the groups (to avoid another experience like the book club you went to). You can ask your GP to refer you, or google Social Prescribing in your borough as some accept self referrals.
I'm somewhat of an introvert and love doing things alone, but we all need some social time too, to varying degrees x

Are there any local coach companies who do day trips to places of interest?

I have friendly acquaintances, not friends. I see them only at the knitting group we belong to. I've met one of them outside that and tbh don't think I have enough in common with any of them to develop friendships outside the group. I'm my mother's full time caregiver and would really like time at home on my own with my cats, rather than having to go out to socialise more.