What do people with no friends do in their spare time?

[Sporty339]

I'm fortunate in that I'm close to my family and have a partner, which may not be the case for everyone.
However they're not always available and plus I don't want to constantly depend on them, so I'm very much on my own sometimes.
I do have one close friend but she's only usually available once a month.
I don't work regular 9-5 hours, partner usually works all weekend.
Currently trying to move on from a group of people I thought were friends but clearly have zero interest in me and atm my mental health is shot to pieces.
Went to the Trafford Centre alone (not sure if anyone's familiar with it) it was absolutely packed out and tbh I just felt uncomfortable walking around on my own.
I am actually quite an introverted person and I do enjoy alone time but not all the time, I do feel very lonely.
Because of my shifts I can't commit to weekly clubs or meetup groups, but I'm currently trying to change my working hours to solve this.
I do have social anxiety and feel very exposed going out alone, I really struggle in crowds especially in such a packed out city like Manchester.
Just interested to hear what others do.

I tried that bumble bff app, either you'd seem to be getting on with someone well then they'd just suddenly stop replying, or someone whose reply to every msg would be 'yh u x ' 'not bad u x' 'dunno u x ' and it would just be very hard to get any sort of conversation going.

Go to WI meetings (only once an month and it’s fine if you miss some)
Cinema
Theatre
local Library Games events
Visit the community cafe and larder (good for a cup of tea and a chat)

our hairdressers also acts as a social hub and everyone there is happy to talk to anyone

Thanks for your reply.
I really need to work on my social anxiety and shyness Which doesn't help, I'm terrible at meeting new people. I hate having all eyes on me having to talk about myself.

Yea I would look for some low key low pressure activities that actually interest you. Eg community garden is a good one, seeing groups, book clubs. They don’t need to be hugely interesting to you, but it’s a gentle social setting with a buffer (the sewing or the books etc) for introverted people

Lots of these drop in type group running at community centres and libraries won’t expect and kind of self intro

Thank you, I do need to try them.
I don't want this to sound rude but I did go to a library book club once, and I'm 32 but was pretty much the only person there under 60. They were very nice, I'm just looking for people a bit closer to my age group. I'm sure they won't all be like that though.

I'm in the north west. It awful when the weather's horrible isn't it? In the summer, I normally sit in the garden and read. If it isn't warm enough I tend to sleep to block it out. I do my make up and listen to music, watch a film or read. Anything to block out that I am completely alone and only get called if my family has a problem to sort out. Rest of my time is spent working, house stuff and with dc.
On the plus side, my house is very tidy, dc get loads of attention, I'm well slept and well read. Only problem is that I ache to share it.

@Sporty339 keep trying new things, maybe set a goal of trying a new club each month for a year? The act of trying will start to make it easier for you.
My local book club has ages 25-65yrs if that helps. Spend your month researching as there are probably lots of little groups.
Is there a wildlife trust/nature reserve/urban green space nearby? They often have occasional events talks etc. Or conservation volunteers

This isn't your question but if I were to go to the Trafford Centre I'd go on my own. Much prefer shopping in my own to with friends.
Social Circle in Manchester is great for meeting new people, there are lots of different events so you should find something you can get to. Or join a gym with a pool and classes, then there'll be something to do any time you're free and at a loose end. Plus exercise is great for metal health

I just go to stuff on my own. Like walks or NT places. Or sometimes shopping. I am quite introverted, but do have a few friends I see sometimes but not at weekends as they all are married and have their own family plans. I am divorced and single. With SN teens.

Another social anxiety-er here with no local friends (mostly due to that). Social anxiety is really odd- you can feel lonely but getting yourself to talk to people is a huge hurdle and then engaging with people is totally exhausting.

I do gardening and tinkering about at home, and watch a lot of netflix (more than I admit)
I like to have a wander round garden centres
I go to art exhibitions
I do jigsaws and sewing and watercolours (I'm, er, 39... but honestly they are so absorbing they are brilliant for taking the stress out of you)
A few times a year I'll go to a classical concert / ballet by myself - it feels odd the first few times but all you've got to do is take a book / buy a programme and you're set for the intervals etc. There's a lot of people who go to these by themselves and now I don't care what others think on it, it's more the hurdle of getting out the front door that stops me going more.

My 'social' element is that I volunteer at a gallery. It's mostly just being in the space and smiling at someone if they come in, maybe 3 or 4 v small conversations in the 3 hours I'm there - so it's social engagement at a pretty low level. The team is small and regular so you get to know them quickly and they're all friendly but quite quiet people who like being in quiet spaces. So I don't stand out, and it's just a couple of hours so manageable. Then I head back home to safety for the rest of the weekend.

Things I do on my own:
dog walks
coffee in cafes
spa days / spa treatments

Id still join a regular club though OP even if you can’t make it all the time.

I enjoy going to exercises classes

Thank you, you have been really helpful and encouraging, I am going to try some of these things.

I do short 6 -8 week courses like cake decorating, craft things etc 1 night a week. You talk to people and learn something new without a huge commitment.

Have you any local walking groups? I am in Ireland and we have a website called get Ireland walking which lists all the walking groups, there may be something similar in UK? If not your local community centre or library should know if there are any. Also see if there are any local women's groups, book clubs (maybe not linked to library) any adult education classes and so on. It is way easier meeting people through an activity

Im early retired, relocated and a carer so I don't have anyone to go out with apart from my DH, and there is very little to do here anyway. I have just started an online creative writing course, I do yoga daily, I walk the dog every day, I also sew, read and crochet. I keep in touch with friends and family. I do get bored and feel isolated, but I have never been very sociable so I'm not that badly off.

Allotment gardening - there is a real mix of ages and situations. Some people are chatty, some people just say 'hello', some people say nothing.

Sewing - not social at all

"I hate having all eyes on me having to talk about myself"

Other people will want to talk about themselves, not you. People don't care about other people. They want someone to listen to them.

I go to social groups. I've gone to a half dozen new ones post Covid. I've hardly ever been asked about myself.

Suggestions:
Party politics
Charity shop or board volunteering
Yoga
Gym class
Book group
WI
Evening class at college/uni
Open uni
Spoken word events
Meetup app
Crafting groups
Parkrun
Hillwalking groups
Conservation
Local history

Can you try exercise classes? At my gym you just book onto whatever you're able to go to that week, you'll find some of the same people there. There are a couple of women I now have a coffee with after one class if I can make it.
What I would say though is if you get to know someone through a hobby and they don't want that to be a full on friendship that's not a reflection on you.
I get along with people I do hobbies with and am up for a quick coffee after sometimes, but I have DC , a very full on job, family commitments, and other friends so have very little time to establish new relationships. That doesn't mean anything about the people I chat to, in other times of my life I'm sure some of the friendships would've developed, but I already have going around but finding enough time for friends/family I already have.

I love spending time on my own, here’s a short list:

Swimming
Exercise (lifting weights, running, plyometrics)
Playing computer games
Binge watching old TV shows
Baking, bonus if it’s a new recipe
Reading (books or online interesting rabbit holes)
Planning home improvements & renovations
Gardening

If you feel anxious going out alone, then it's probably not that helpful to hear what I do, as I don't share your anxieties.

But for what it's worth, I do have friends, but they take up a very small amount of my time. For instance, if I had a whole weekend to myself, I might arrange to see one friend for a coffee for 90 minutes. I would never spend a whole day shopping with a friend - that's just not how my social life has ever looked and I wouldn't want it to.

What do I do on my own? I had a weekend to myself this weekend as DH was away. I did something sociable on Thursday night so didn't feel compelled to arrange to see anyone. I tidied the house, went to the gym, walked the dog, submitted a new passport application, did some research for a new bed that we want to buy, did some wallpapering in our bedroom, did a food shop and ran some errands in town including taking some stuff to the charity shop, cooked dinner for 2 nights, read Mumsnet, watched TV and sold some furniture on Facebook Marketplace that we want to get rid of.
If the weather had been dry I would have been gardening and on a hike (we live in a national park) too.

I LOVE and NEED time alone. My favourite person to spend time with is myself!

Snap. I’m a natural introvert and hate being around other people - well apart from dc and dh, and the occasional bit of Mumsnet! I crochet, go for walks, watch Tv, do some exercise at home etc etc. I love going places on my own and never feel self conscious about it.

I would always choose to go somewhere like the Trafford Centre alone, shopping with others is a nightmare.

What I find helps the loneliness is to listen to podcasts, having adult chatter in my ears almost feels like I'm with others, it also reduces that 'naked' self conscious feeling of being out alone as your in your own little world. I love the BBC sounds app for this and there are some great comedy ones but I've really enjoyed "Dead to Me" - horrible histories for grown ups, "Witch" and "Witch Trials" this week which were less about witches and magic but mote about the women accused and the Miscarriages of justice which was fascinating.

I don't have any friends or family other than DH and DD (DH has no friends or family either).

In our spare time we do stuff together (theatre, gigs, trips, galleries etc). We both also play musical instruments so we do that together or alone, too. I do some volunteering. I'm a massive history nerd so I do a lot of reading/study and reading generally.

Manchester is a fabulous city for solo stuff OP! I love John Rylands and all the wonderful museums and galleries there. If you wanted to make new friends, perhaps there are 'friends of'-type groups you could get involved with, if that's your sort of thing?