What do people with no friends do in their spare time?

[Sporty339]

I'm fortunate in that I'm close to my family and have a partner, which may not be the case for everyone.
However they're not always available and plus I don't want to constantly depend on them, so I'm very much on my own sometimes.
I do have one close friend but she's only usually available once a month.
I don't work regular 9-5 hours, partner usually works all weekend.
Currently trying to move on from a group of people I thought were friends but clearly have zero interest in me and atm my mental health is shot to pieces.
Went to the Trafford Centre alone (not sure if anyone's familiar with it) it was absolutely packed out and tbh I just felt uncomfortable walking around on my own.
I am actually quite an introverted person and I do enjoy alone time but not all the time, I do feel very lonely.
Because of my shifts I can't commit to weekly clubs or meetup groups, but I'm currently trying to change my working hours to solve this.
I do have social anxiety and feel very exposed going out alone, I really struggle in crowds especially in such a packed out city like Manchester.
Just interested to hear what others do.

I’m introverted and joined a social running club in the beginners group. There’s a few quick hellos, but after that everyone is busy running/ jogging and has no breath for talking and awkward silences are replaced by deep breaths. You’re all in the same boat though, so there are a few knowing glances ie ‘this is hard work’. The club meets most days at different times so there’s always at least one session I can make. It’s definitely great for introverts.

I don’t mind doing stuff on my own at all, but I loathe shopping in Manchester city centre alone when it’s busy. Being one person among noisy crowds is unpleasant, disorienting and somehow makes me feel like an insignificant speck. I’m not surprised you find that and the Trafford Centre difficult.

Go at quiet times. Totally different experience.

Great things to do in Manchester alone are the cinema (especially Home, which always has people visiting on their own), coffee shops and smaller restaurants, walking tours, the museums and galleries. There are loads of groups on Meetup where you don’t need to make a regular commitment.

Are you looking for ways to make friends? Or things to do to keep yourself busy and occupied?

I'll often go sit in a local coffee shop and read a good book while the staff keep me topped up with hot chocolate and Pepsi Max.

Years ago I'd actually go to the Trafford Centre in the evenings to wander round, maybe buy odds and sods, rather than go on the weekends when it was heaving. Some weeks I'd go twice a week and it's a 20 mile drive!

I struggled with anxiety too, and at periods when it got so bad I needed to take time off work I'd force myself to leave the house at least once a day. Some days my mission was to walk the mile into town, buy an apple from Aldi, and eat it on the walk home. Then I built up to walking into town and sitting in a quiet pub with a glass of coke (drinking it as quick as possible so I could escape!), then built up to having my drink while reading a book so taking my time more. 3 years later I'm on first name terms with all the staff, and actually met my boyfriend in there.

Oooh. What about a pub quiz? I go to one every week by myself mostly. Everyone is busy organising their paper sheets (or mobile phone if its a hashtag type phone quiz) and getting drinks etc so no-one will be staring at you (I'm sure they're not anyway) and you'll be preoccupied with the questions yourself so you won't have chance to start fretting or doubting yourself because you'll be occupied. (I'm sure this might be your idea of hell, but worth suggesting!)

Be brave. Sometimes you'll need to TEACH yourself to enjoy your own company. You come across on here perfectly well so please don't doubt yourself. I'm sure you're lovely, just your anxiety is not letting you realise that. xx

@Sporty339 what kind of things do you enjoy doing?

Crochet, go for walks, draw, run.

I’m fortunate as I have my daughter who I do lots with but when she is at her dad’s I am alone.

I have started reading again so that is a nice escape. I watch stuff on Netflix. I also like writing and sewing. I’m into home decor so I like doing that and pottering. I go to lovely shops or countryside walks. I go see bands sometimes or the pub. That can feel weird sometimes but I do it anyway.

I sometimes cry as I shouldn’t be in this position, but like you I needed to step away from people for the good of my mental health.

Dog walking here - you can borrow a doggie app for a walk if you like - people talk to the dog and not you

church - I go to a church that is vibrant and fun

scouts volunteering

allotment

I listen to these too. I like to be home pottering with one on.

Have you listened to Witches of Scotland? I love that. I like Uncanny too with it’s spooky real life stories.

I’m older than you OP (early 60s) and I live in a city
i joined my local u3a. We now have a social group run on what’s App and honestly there is something to do virtually every day. There are about 50 folk in the group and it’s easy to go along to something and have company. I think I’m pretty lucky with that. Appreciate that that won’t help you though

I’ll be your friend OP we are of a similar age- I’ll DM you :)

As 35yr I was not the youngest in our local library sewing class. After the class finished we were invited to join a different sewing group. Who are very friendly and they meet once a month and we are not obligated to turn up on those days. They have machines we can book to use.

Maybe you can try a different activity that the library has to offer.

Things I do solo:
Go to the gym and listen to a podcast
Do an exercise class, try different ones
Walk the dog
Go to a gallery or similar
Have a walk and a cup of coffee
Go to the cinema
Trying to learn a language via duolingo
Have a browse in a decent bookshop

I would work on accepting yourself as you are. Everyone feels loneliness at times, whether they have 100 friends or none. It's a normal feeling but obviously worth addressing if it's getting you down regularly.

Do you have children or planning them in the future? I've met most of my new adult friends through my children and playgroups.

And work, have you tried reaching out to colleagues to meet for a coffee after work etc?

You're not alone, and it's no reflection on you.

Thanks so much everyone, sorry just seen these answers now.
It's not that there's anything wrong with shopping alone, I actually prefer it usually as I hate dawdling, it's just that everyone at the TC seemed to be with family or friends and I seemed like one of very few who was alone, the crowds made me anxious and it just emphasized my loneliness.
These are all really good suggestions .

I'd like children at some point (well just one child maybe) but I worry that attempts to make friends with other mums will be rejected.

On your day off I would go out early to avoid the busy crowds. Coffee shop.. I guess just learn to embrace your own company.

This has helped so much and I'm looking forward to trying new things :)

I go to the Yorkshire dales, which isn't too far from Manchester if you live that way.

It's the perfect way to 'waste' a day (although I don't see it as a waste), as you need to plan the night before, get up early, walk for the day, drive home and then sleep 🥰

It fills your soul and everyone who you encounter will say hello x

Read

I am similar. Very self conscious and shy.
I read a lot.
Watch Netflix.
Jigsaws.
Go out shopping or at least a walk.
Journal my thoughts and feelings.
Tidy the house.
But it often feels soul destroyingly lonely.

I really detest this 'Do you think you may be autistic?' If you come on and say that you are an introvert, lonely or struggling to make friends. You can be quiet and shy without a label attached to it. I also hate the 'A bit autistic' or 'slightly autistic.' You can't be, it's autism or it's not.

Start your own event. Ask on community pages if someone wants to join you for x or y.

Games nights anywhere local.

volunteering

setting up your own book club.

women’s festivals and retreats.

and any of the previous suggestions.

I used to drink and eat loads of shit.

Join a running club
Go to yoga
Join a rock choir

I understand you wanting friends your age but friends are friends. You could have a really good time chatting about books over glass of wine with mates who happen to be 50+. You just (possibly) need other sets of friends to go clubbing with.

Also sort out some solo projects - maybe studying online or restoring some furniture or designing, cutting and sewing a shirt.