What do people with no friends do in their spare time?

[Sporty339]

I'm fortunate in that I'm close to my family and have a partner, which may not be the case for everyone.
However they're not always available and plus I don't want to constantly depend on them, so I'm very much on my own sometimes.
I do have one close friend but she's only usually available once a month.
I don't work regular 9-5 hours, partner usually works all weekend.
Currently trying to move on from a group of people I thought were friends but clearly have zero interest in me and atm my mental health is shot to pieces.
Went to the Trafford Centre alone (not sure if anyone's familiar with it) it was absolutely packed out and tbh I just felt uncomfortable walking around on my own.
I am actually quite an introverted person and I do enjoy alone time but not all the time, I do feel very lonely.
Because of my shifts I can't commit to weekly clubs or meetup groups, but I'm currently trying to change my working hours to solve this.
I do have social anxiety and feel very exposed going out alone, I really struggle in crowds especially in such a packed out city like Manchester.
Just interested to hear what others do.

I love these threads, sadly because it makes me feel 'normal' because I also feel quite lonely, or alone, haven't quite worked out which one yet!

I do have friends, not big groups, mostly individual. My loneliness is about closeness, like family, that wonderful safe feeling of a blanket around you, that nobody will remove because they think so much of you, does that make sense? I do have adult children (they're always busy) and I have a partner (don't live together) so my lonely feelings are certainly from within.

I lost my mum 11 years ago, we were incredibly close, and I don't think I'll ever replace that closeness with anyone.

I go swimming and I am in a hobby craft group, just going when I can. My hobbies are quite solo, I'm doing a free online course at the moment which involves group calls too (that is a regular slot but different ones are out there). I volunteer at the primary school and I also do litter picking locally (great for short interactions so I don't feel totally isolated when DH works away).

Well yes, this really. Try some counselling maybe? This is more about how you feel and your basic discomfort with life/ yourself than what you are doing with your time. I would recommend you talk to someone.

My daughter has social anxiety & I used to be pretty shy when I was younger OP. I love time on my own but also crave company at times too. It can be a tricky balance tbh. My DH is a quiet person & likes his own company (& We've been together 28 yrs so i need to get away from him on a regular basis or he drives me a bit bonkers tbh bless him - we don't have many shared hobbies- he has football). Things I've joined on my own like yoga & twice weekly HIIT classes have been great! I do have casual friends there now (arranging drinks with a few ladies from HIIT class at end of summer hols) but not friends I usually see outside class. It's taken years to get to this stage anyway & I just love how I feel after a class finishes. Sure I have to drag myself there some days. But I've discovered I'm quite bendy & am now v good at sit ups etc. I'm size 16 & 48 yrs old & peri menopausal & could do with losing 2 stone if I'm honest but I'm pretty fit really & it's definitely helped with my mental health. I also joined a weekly local community choir in 2010 - really good fun but only a 5 min break in 90 mins of singing so perfect if you're an introvert as the rest of the time we're busy learning a new song or running through older songs etc. A good sing is really beneficial too & improves lung capacity etc. No audition needed for the one I joined & honestly I can barely hear some people around me singing they are so quiet & not everyone has the best voice in the world but it just doesn't matter. We've performed in dementia cafes/care homes & special needs schools locally & it's a great hobby tbh. We can choose which events we sign up for so there's no pressure. We've also sung at St Albans Abbey & big local theatres too so there are options to get dressed up in black tie etc (if we want) Good luck finding new interests OP. You can do it! 👏

I enjoy things like yoga and parkrun - both involve doing something on your own while being around other people but with no pressure to talk to them. You can also volunteer at park run if you want to meet people - and don’t have to run! You wouldn’t need to talk about yourself or do an intro infront of a group and don’t need to commit to doing it regularly.

I'm in Manchester OP (and 35) and although I have kids now so very rarely alone when I do get the chance I enjoy going for walks. Don't know where you are based but Chorlton water park is great, and not too big, same with sale water park, if it's a nice day Heaton park is fab for just sitting in the sun reading. Or I go for coffee in NQ/Ancoats. Avoid town and Trafford centre as much as I can, as I just hate the crowds. Is there anything specific you enjoy doing?

Meetups.com is fabulous for making friends because everybody else is there for the same purpose.
You arrange online and then turn up to the event. There are a sorts of activities and ones for different age ranges. I keep myself to the nights our and pub visits.

I have very much been where you are and I echo other people about the social groups. The best ones for me are based around an outdoorsy activity (walking, wild swimming, etc) as I find you can drift in and out of conversations during the activity and it doesn’t feel so stressful. Great too if as part of the activity they stop for a cafe pit stop etc which allows for more chit chat. I didn’t go every week but I went often enough that people recognised me and would strike up conversation and before long it opened up to other social events. Another really nice one is to start volunteering at community events - for example there is always a Parkrun nearby etc and these can often be quite chatty and social things and everyone is always so grateful to the people volunteering to help.

My husband has loads of friends, as does my daughter, but I don't have any. I am fortunate to live in London so, like Manchester, there's always something to do. I like the cinema, especially if there's something my husband has no interest in seeing, there's loads of areas for independent shops, I read a little, I go to the free museums, and some paid ones too. I like going to parks and I cycle a bit.

People wear me out. Because I work in a customer facing role, I prefer to avoid human beings during my time off. I find most humans exhausting.

Reading, art (drawing, clay and painting ... I'm rubbish but happy), hiking/walking, knitting, audio books, chores, yoga, exercise, making things, Netflix and Prime, gardening (some nice veg xoming along), chatting on social media or phone, reels on Instagram, scrabble, puzzles etc. Cooking nice things. Lying around looking at the sky. I dunno. I'm never bored.

Get a dog and get out on loads of lovely dog walks. You will have a constant companion then.

Do you live in South Manchester by any chance if you do I know a wonderful women’s club. It has all ages. I just joined and I’m loving it.

Do you like any kind of sports, running, cycling, swimming, walking? I am very socially anxious but feel quite happy doing most of those things on my own (I’m not particularly good at any of them). As mentioned by others Park runs are great and lots of people go on their own. Walking groups are also good as people are usually pretty friendly and you don’t have to commit to every week.

I’m autistic and exactly as you describe, except that with work colleagues, a partner and children that’s enough social interaction for me!

@Mollythenia what's the women's club?

Join an independent book group - one that meets in a pub ideally. The book group I was in during my 20s and early 30s was honestly the best thing in my social calendar at that time. I was gutted when I moved out of the area and had to leave.

Gardening, local community garden, tidy towns group weekly clean ups, read, bookclubs, study something interesting, watch a good film/tv series, do some diy. Go for lunch alone, to the cinema, for a walk, swimming, bake a cake or make a really good meal, go for a drive to a local beautu spot and have a picnic

Volunteer at Parkrun. You don't need to go every week. Some people only go once a month/every 6 months

Have you tried Spice, the social group in Manchester? They do some great get togethers

I play Minecraft now, but before I discovered it, I used to read & watch TV. Unfortunately, due to health issues I'm not classed as a very reliable friend, so most have fallen by the wayside. I think I'm 1 of the few people who actually enjoyed lockdown!!

Get some hypno for your social anxiety - try solution based hypno which will move you forward in small steps. Could you commit to any voluntary work?

A cafe near us holds a monthly book club and games afternoon - maybe there is something near you that you could attend on a semi-regular basis according to your shifts? I also started playing tennis once lockdown lifted - my club has leagues and people arrange games to suit their timings.
Taking the first few steps is the hardest thing to do. If you have a vague hobby or like a particular activity, there's bound to be something you can dip in and out of. Local walking group? Or yoga day retreat?
Good luck xx

Oh yes, meant to say park run! It is brilliant - my local one has 'walk and talk' person and a 'walk-run' person - so if you are a beginner or just there for the chat, you are totally welcome. Give it a go!

I'm 33 and probably about 30 mins from the TC 🙂 I'm either with my husband, my toddler and/or my patents when I'm not at work. Once my toddler has gone to bed I get in bed and binge watch rubbish TV. I would happily go to the cinema/dining/shopping on my own if I could be bothered. I'm not sure I miss having friends as I love my own company, although when i was younger before my toddler came along i would have. It would be nice to have people to text about random crap though!

I don’t have any friends and don’t really socialise outside of work. Usually I’m busy with my kids and when they are Away with their dad I run, sometimes long running adventures with overnight camps, kayak if the weather is nice, read, clean, watch tv, study my interests (entomology), hang out with my dogs. I never really run out of things to do. If I ever get invited anywhere I worry that I won’t have time to do the things I actually want to do!