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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby is ruining us

482 replies

fedupnow2 · 23/07/2023 20:36

I'm really fed up, frustrated and just desperate for advice. I have an 8mo and she is just the most difficult child- extremely high needs(constantly wants to be carried) but the biggest issue is her sleeping habits. This is not an exaggeration- I spend 5-6 HOURS a day trapped in my room trying to make her sleep. Every single nap time is a nightmare- she is so tired but just cannot sleep. She wants to be rocked but will wriggle furiously. If you leave her in her crib/ lie next to her then she becomes hyper and get more worked up. Dh has a very stressful job and the moment he walks in i hand her over because I'm sick of her. He is also highly frustrated because he then spends the next few hours trying to get her to sleep and he has barely sat down . Our weekends are consumed by her sleep issues. She has been like this since she was born. We have an older child who is struggling because I don't have time for him because of the baby. I would leave her to cry it out but dh doesn't want to. We have done everything- walks, routine, bath before bed, white noise. She eats very well. Please don't tell me this will end, I can't bear another second. Taking her out at any part of the day hypes her up when she gets home. I have now been sitting with her for the past 2 hours and she is furiously just thrashing about crying. Not in pain, just overtired. I've carried her and she just wants to be down. I'm just at the end of it.

OP posts:
Dovetail40 · 28/10/2023 22:42

Don't force during the naps in the day.

Bath before bed add adrop or two of essential lavender oil to bath water.

A drop on bedding too.

Dovetail40 · 28/10/2023 22:43

nopuppiesallowed · 27/07/2023 09:36

Definitely. Worked with a very distressed baby granddaughter who would only sleep on Mummy's chest when Mummy was sitting up.

Show quote history

100% recommend this too.

Anothnamechang · 28/10/2023 22:53

My baby is 6 months (3 months corrected) and I completely understand everything you’re saying! She will only have a nap around 4pm now and by then is so overtired it takes an age! Add into the mix that unless she has a contact nap she will not nap.

I caved and bought a baby carrier so I could get things done. Night times here are horrific, I’m talking she will sleep for half an hour, up for 3 and another 15-20 mins sleep!

None of my kids have slept great at all, infact my middle daughter was 4/5 when she eventually went a whole night! She did however get better at around 1 and was up twice but right back down.

I did CIO with my oldest, it worked for us but with my middle and youngest it didn't.

I do however put my baby in her pram and walk with her, she hates the pram and screams for a good while but does eventually settle. This gives me some sanity and I grab a coffee for on my walk.

Complete sympathy and solidarity with you Mama ❤️

Rudderneck · 28/10/2023 23:15

I don't have any really different advice, all four of my kids were like this to a greater or lesser extent.

It could be worth trying to put the crib on an incline, for sure, it probably isn't the issue but I've known one or two people where it solved the problem right away.

My advise is sleep training. I don't really think it much matters the method, choose what appeals to you. One thing you might say to your husband is that although allowing crying might seem mean on the surface, your child is miserable from lack of sleep, all day, every day. It's affecting her ability to enjoy the world and all of her relationships.

A few days of good sleep will probably make a change that will be difficult to recognize. There are also real health consequences around lack of sleep, like poor immune response.

Being so overtired in itself makes going to sleep more difficult. With my oldest, I had also given up on naps, and as soon as she started sleeping through the night, she started napping too. Her whole personality seemed to change, she was able to cope with all kinds of things she couldn't before. I had felt bad about sleep training, but once I saw how much better she seemed after, I felt badly that I hadn't tried it before.

Frenchtoastie · 29/10/2023 00:10

Please update! Hope it’s sorted for you

Gowlett · 29/10/2023 00:29

My DS was the same. He would be up all night. No interest in naps during the day. He would get seriously over-tired. The crying / BF cycle was so hard… I didn’t do set naps at all, or even set bedtime / routine until he finished BF aged 1. He only did contact naps, sling / carrier, pram walks, co-sleeping. He’s the same now. Would never go to sleep on purpose!

banananas1999 · 12/02/2024 15:51

I havent read repliea but mom of 5 here- cosleep (check safe sleep guidane first Lullaby trust) and get a baby carrier like ergo omni 360.

happy baby=happy mum :)

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