Dog on Guest Bed - WWYD?

[PoochProblem]

I have a dilemma in that a very dear long-term friend (who lives about 1.5 hours away) acquired a large dog during lockdown who sleeps in the same bed as him and won't tolerate being in a dog bed overnight.

My friend recognises that not everyone is comfortable with dogs in beds and, without asking, volunteers to sleep downstairs on an airbed with the pooch when he visits. But I don't think he gets a very good night's sleep, and that's putting him off coming to stay that often.

Whilst I'm pretty dog-friendly and like this dog a lot, he's pretty big, sheds hair, dribbles and - to be blunt - can have a strong odour. Also the guest bedroom is often used by my student son when he is back from uni, and he's not comfortable with the pooch sleeping in there. And of course, other people use the guest room occasionally.

I'd be more than happy if my friend's dog were to sleep in a basket in the bedroom of course. But my friend is a bit of a soft touch and gave into him coming into the bed.

Friend and I are unlikely to fall out about this - he's pretty easy going and we've been mates since student days (we're in our 50s). But he has been a very good friend over over the years, supporting me through a tough time recently, so I feel a bit conflicted about whether I should accommodate letting his dog sleep in the bed. The mattress is new if that makes any difference.

Any practical suggestions welcomed. Dog lovers, please be kind.

Have name changed because details may out me, but long term user (please don't make me say penis beaker or yoni massage).

YABU = suck it up and stop being precious. You should accommodate your friend's preferences.
YANBU = dogs belong in dog beds (when houseguests)

Exactly this

It’s already been said, but the simplest and cheapest solution would be for you to get a mattress protector (not necessarily waterproof unless you get one that’s not plastic, as otherwise it’s too noisy and sweaty), and then he brings his own sheets/pillows/duvet etc.

It's a possibility but he would still drool and possibly got through the mattress protector unless I get a waterproof one. Also, waterproof protectors are pretty unpleasant to sleep on imo.

We have waterproof mattress protectors on all our beds. They are not unpleasant. You can get decent ones these days. Makes sense to get one for the dog.

The dog may start off the night not on the bed but on the night it definitely will - speaking from experience!!!

Id just use cheaper duvet covers etc. and give it a good clean with hoover after. We also have a quilt on the bed so dogs are only on top part.

I'm not a dog owner and when I book hotels
I actively look for ones that don't allow dogs as I dislike being in a room after a dog. Most don't smell but some certainly do!!

OP, it sound like your friend is happy to work with you on this. Would grooming the dog before he comes in the house help minimise the dog hairs? Or would it still moult.

Are you sure you couldn't store a single mattress somewhere? Then your pal could sleep on that?

There is no way I would even let a dog in my house. Both my partner and child are allergic and I like having clean floors. My suggestion would be to see if you can find and Airbnb or similar that allows dogs where you can meet half way. Stay there all together and it makes it less stressful for you.

I think you’re worrying about this too much. He’s happy to get a poor night’s sleep for his dog. Let him. He’s making the choice to put the dog’s feelings before yours or your son’s.

I’d never have guest dogs upstairs, let alone on the bed.

Only read the OP but you sound very reasonable OP.

I've got one of those dogs who won't settle unless he's on the bed. It's a training failure, but it is what it is (and I love having him on the bed.)

If you were a very good long term friend of mine I would completely accept that you didn't like dogs on beds and I wouldn't hold that against you at all, but I also wouldn't visit with my dog overnight. Just a compatibility thing, doesn't have to be a big statement about The Friendship or anything.

You dont need suggestions or advice. Your friend has said he'll sleep downstairs on a blow up bed. Sorted.

I love hearing from clean dog owners. Restores my faith a bit that some people observe basic hygiene!

Yes. When I see ‘dog-friendly’ in a hotel or restaurant, I choose somewhere else.

Me too.

Me three.

There are SACHETS that DISSOLVE dog fur???!!! I think you've just changed my life !!! 🤯

@Fredface1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Vamoosh-Dissolver-Remover-Machines-Dissolves/dp/B08VNKV9GL/ref=mpssa111sspa?crid=8OLJI4OGBE5S&keywords=vamoosh+pet+hair+dissolver&qid=1690276316&sprefix=vamoo%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-1-spons&spp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1

You, my friend have changed my life.

Dogs in beds are gross. Foul.

Just tell him no. It's just a dog not a child.

Vile.

@PoochProblem If you really want to offer a bed for your friend and his dog offer yours. And you sleep in the guest bed that your son uses.

Your son doesn't have his own room and has to use the guest bedroom? Surely, if he's the usual age for uni, he should have his own room still and you do without a guest room? What are you going to do, if like many others these days, he comes back home to live after university has ended?

Mattress protector
Bedding and duvet just for his use £30

Seriously?

OP can use her space as she sees fit.

Personally I don't see the difference between a dog and, say, a toddler or young child who might vomit, defecate, urinate, drip mucous or otherwise sully the bed.

Just get a mattress cover, a set of sheets (charity shop?) and some sort of blanket. It's a good friend.

You personally don't see the difference. Many people do - mattress protector and extra beddings solve the child problem.
Nothing solves the dog problem, for many the very concept of dog in (their) bed is gross and forcing someone to agree to it is unreasonable.