Dog on Guest Bed - WWYD?

[PoochProblem]

I have a dilemma in that a very dear long-term friend (who lives about 1.5 hours away) acquired a large dog during lockdown who sleeps in the same bed as him and won't tolerate being in a dog bed overnight.

My friend recognises that not everyone is comfortable with dogs in beds and, without asking, volunteers to sleep downstairs on an airbed with the pooch when he visits. But I don't think he gets a very good night's sleep, and that's putting him off coming to stay that often.

Whilst I'm pretty dog-friendly and like this dog a lot, he's pretty big, sheds hair, dribbles and - to be blunt - can have a strong odour. Also the guest bedroom is often used by my student son when he is back from uni, and he's not comfortable with the pooch sleeping in there. And of course, other people use the guest room occasionally.

I'd be more than happy if my friend's dog were to sleep in a basket in the bedroom of course. But my friend is a bit of a soft touch and gave into him coming into the bed.

Friend and I are unlikely to fall out about this - he's pretty easy going and we've been mates since student days (we're in our 50s). But he has been a very good friend over over the years, supporting me through a tough time recently, so I feel a bit conflicted about whether I should accommodate letting his dog sleep in the bed. The mattress is new if that makes any difference.

Any practical suggestions welcomed. Dog lovers, please be kind.

Have name changed because details may out me, but long term user (please don't make me say penis beaker or yoni massage).

YABU = suck it up and stop being precious. You should accommodate your friend's preferences.
YANBU = dogs belong in dog beds (when houseguests)

Sounds like my husband.

I'm a dog lover but I wouldn't have a dog on my bed.

What kind of bed frame is it? Metal or wood perhaps I wouldn't have a problem but if it's fabric it would be a no from me.

Seriously change the mattress from 1 ddog sleeping on it? Oh my days!. Shove a throw on then wash everything..

😂Maybe you should start a similar thread for your DH...

Wooden frame. But the mattress is what bothers me more.

If your friends wants the dog in his bed then a waterproof mattress cover is the only viable option to stop the dribble going through to your sons mattress. It’s the lesser of two evils.

Dogs in beds is gross. Only disgusting people would do this.

Then I'm afraid the dog either sleeps in a bed with your friend, or neither of them stay.
We can't stay at friends' houses who have cats 🤷🏼‍♀️ It does impact the friendship a bit as it's a struggle to get together, but that's just how it goes.

Just ask your guest to hoover and wipe before leaving.

Or say no.

I suppose my thinking is that you're letting the dog stay in your house anyway so it's not the dog that's a problem, it's the bedroom that's bothering you. It is fine to say no though, as it's your house but, if you do agree to the dog sleeping in the guest room, there are ways to mitigate the smell/hair/drool.

But if he brought a woman she could deposit body fluids, dandruff, hair, BO etc so al in all the dog is probably preferable.

Also, waterproof protectors are pretty unpleasant to sleep on

Nowhere near as unpleasant as an air bed or dog drool mattress

YANBU and I have dogs. I am already very grateful if a host says that dogs are welcome. I would certainly not expect that someone else allows my pets on their sofas or beds.

I think his long-term male partner might have something to say about that! 😉

I'd ask hun to bring his own bedding

Well cared for dogs shouldn't have a strong smell. They need a proper brush every day, same as horses. If its very greasy or has rolled in something, it might need a bath. Would he bath his dog?

Honestly, if your friend is happy on the airbed I wouldn’t stress too much

My dog sleeps in my /our bed!
I would not let a smelly,drooling dog in your sons bed/guest bed.

@PoochProblem

Not in comparison to this fella. He really is big, hairy and drools a lot

yeah, but what's the dog like??

😂😂

what breed is the dog?

id want my friend & his dog to feel at home at my house, so I would put two mattress protectors on the bed (I use the M & S ones that don't crinkle!!) & keep a full set of bedding just for when they stay.(sheets/duvet cover etc washed every time & out on the line to dry/air) Duvet washed frequently but not everytine, hung on the line if the weather allows, airer if not & open the windows fully when they leave.

truly good friends are rare & I wouldn't let a big (slightly whiffy) dog make it uncomfortable for my friend to stay, so he doesn't come as often.

"truly good friends are rare & I wouldn't let a big (slightly whiffy) dog make it uncomfortable for my friend to stay, so he doesn't come as often."

Yes, this is my concern

Brushing won't help with the smell if the dog is a drooler, though. Every dog I've met that has long hair and drools really does pong, no matter how often it's brushed and bathed.

"what breed is the dog?"

It's a red Labrador. He's a gorgeous fella.

@PoochProblem sadly I'm
Pooch less at the moment, but haven't always been & hope not to be in the future.

I house/dog sit for friends & the ones that sleep with my friends are welcome to sleep on my bed if they want to.

The shedding won't be any different no matter where he sleeps, except that he doesn't need to go upstairs if they sleep in the lounge.

where does the shaggy one sleep when friend sleeps on the air bed?? Surely not on the air bed?!?!

Do you want your son to come less often, or your friend?

I’m sure he’s happy on the airbed and completely understands you don’t want a dog on your guest bed. I wouldn’t overthink it.