Dog on Guest Bed - WWYD?

[PoochProblem]

I have a dilemma in that a very dear long-term friend (who lives about 1.5 hours away) acquired a large dog during lockdown who sleeps in the same bed as him and won't tolerate being in a dog bed overnight.

My friend recognises that not everyone is comfortable with dogs in beds and, without asking, volunteers to sleep downstairs on an airbed with the pooch when he visits. But I don't think he gets a very good night's sleep, and that's putting him off coming to stay that often.

Whilst I'm pretty dog-friendly and like this dog a lot, he's pretty big, sheds hair, dribbles and - to be blunt - can have a strong odour. Also the guest bedroom is often used by my student son when he is back from uni, and he's not comfortable with the pooch sleeping in there. And of course, other people use the guest room occasionally.

I'd be more than happy if my friend's dog were to sleep in a basket in the bedroom of course. But my friend is a bit of a soft touch and gave into him coming into the bed.

Friend and I are unlikely to fall out about this - he's pretty easy going and we've been mates since student days (we're in our 50s). But he has been a very good friend over over the years, supporting me through a tough time recently, so I feel a bit conflicted about whether I should accommodate letting his dog sleep in the bed. The mattress is new if that makes any difference.

Any practical suggestions welcomed. Dog lovers, please be kind.

Have name changed because details may out me, but long term user (please don't make me say penis beaker or yoni massage).

YABU = suck it up and stop being precious. You should accommodate your friend's preferences.
YANBU = dogs belong in dog beds (when houseguests)

If you love this friendship and you want to see more of your friend, I would just buy bedding just for them. Mattress topper, sheet, pillows, cases, duvet, duvet set. Jobs a good en

Is he coming by car?
Ask him to bring his own bedding.
Get a mattress protector and ur both happy

Do you never stay in a dog friendly hotel? I do and I am not silly enough to imagine that a dog has never slept in the bed.

Ah, you said what I think!

Just get a waterproof mattress cover, there are plenty that aren't just a plastic sheet and you'd never know they are there. Lots of hotels and airbnbs let dogs in and lots of those dogs sleep on the bed. It can be done without smelling doggy. Labs aren't known as a drooly breed unless drinking or eating. I wouldn't let dog bowls in the bedroom. It's also perfectly reasonable to ask that the dog is groomed before he stays. It will mean a lot less shedding and very little smell. Labs have an oily coat and can smell very doggy. A proper bath and grooming will sort it.

Waterproof mattress protector, helps make sure no smells get through. Perhaps a separate duvet and bedding just for him if he visits often? Or a duvet protector as well? If the bed is protected there should be no additional smells in there as compared to the dog sleeping in the dog bed.

You go visit them.

Keep the smell out your house and definitely away from your sons bed!

To be fair sounds like my husband.
When we go away we always take our own large throw to put on the bed.

This. It's a non issue.

Get a charity shop blanket and put it on top of the regular bedding.

Clean and air the room afterward.

Job done.

No way would I have a dog in my spare bed. Sorry, just no.

Really, a dear old friend??

Use a coverless duvet, that way it's not just a cover you would be washing and a waterproof type matteress cover , that way everything is dog proofed.

Really not fair to let the dog sleep in your son’s bed.

Simple solution is that friend sleeps downstairs on the airbed, and you buy a set of bedding (including duvet) which is used only by this friend.

If you feel so troubled by friend sleeping on the airbed, you could always give up your bed to friend and dog.

Not fair to your son. Big drooling dog in a bed is just disgusting.

If I were your son, suggesting anything less than different sheets, pillows, duvet, and mattress protector would sound totally inadequate to me. What's worse, even the full set, which might sounds technically rational, would still put me off on the emotional level.

You are very tolerant that you allow it in your home at all.

I’m sure you have helped him or would help him just as much, so please don’t your gratitude for his support sway you into something you and your son are not happy with, it will just create resentment.

Once you let the dog into the bed, you won’t be able to ask him not allow it again, so keep the current arrangement. He will get tired if the airbed himself eventually and leave dog doenstairs.

I'm a dog owner and I wouldn't even let the dog upstairs, let alone on the bed.

Accept his offer to sleep downstairs.

They’re not all revolting to sleep on, we bought a tempur mattress and got a tempur waterproof protector and it’s just like a sheet (but rubberised on reverse) we’ve now added a mattress protector too and it really help to protect mattress in case of spills etc.

I’ve also got similar mattress protectors in guest rooms and all duvets and pillows are from M&S washable range - very reasonable and really good!

we don’t let our dog sleep in with us or on beds/sofas etc.

@PoochProblem better airbed is a decent idea, although I don’t think you think that’s welcoming enough so check out decent waterproof covers and mattress protectors and get washable bedding and whatever happens l, you’ll be able to make everything fresh again

Good lord - people sleep in the same bed as their dogs?

I love dogs. I grew up on a farm and we always had dogs but they were NEVER allowed upstairs and generally not in any room with soft furnishings.

My mum's view was never let dogs where you can't scrub with disinfectant and there is a very good reason for that - dogs are gross - they eat fox poo, their own sick and much worse. They also lick their own and other dog's arseholes.

You probably think this is as simple as telling your friend, please use the dog bed. But dogs don’t work like that, my dogs are bed sleepers and they just wouldn’t understand if we decided one night that they needed to sleep in a basket, they would need retraining. I don’t really see why changing the bedding afterwards doesn’t work, but if your son really doesn’t want a dog in his room, then you need to tell your friend he cannot stay with the dog.

I think there's a lot of dog owners on here.

As a non dog owner there's absolutely no way I'd have a big, drooly dog on my spare bed.

It's your friends dog and his decision to bring it, if he has offered to sleep downstairs that seems a fair compromise to allowing it in the house.

Phaps a new, better airbed?

Well you said it - the friend has literally made his bed as he hasn't trained his dog properly - too late now.

There is no reason why a dog would sleep in a human bed unless the owner allowed it or failed to train the dog early on.

Wash the bedsheets

It’s just looking at things objectively. The OP clearly doesn’t mind the dog and is a good sort who wants her friend to be comfortable so (some) people are offering possible solutions. Of course, some are just using it as an excuse to talk about how disgusting they think dogs are.

He hasn’t trained his dog to sleep in a basket, but that is not to say he hasn’t trained him “properly”. He has obviously decided that bed sleeping is ok, we have made the same decision (although we don’t take our dogs to other peoples houses), but the dogs have had plenty of training.

Have you met dogs? Objectively dogs are quite disgusting.

I love them and spent my childhood growing up in close quarters with dogs. But I was taught not to let dogs lick me and to always wash my hands after stroking or handling dogs. I certainly would not let one sleep in my bed.