Dog on Guest Bed - WWYD?

[PoochProblem]

I have a dilemma in that a very dear long-term friend (who lives about 1.5 hours away) acquired a large dog during lockdown who sleeps in the same bed as him and won't tolerate being in a dog bed overnight.

My friend recognises that not everyone is comfortable with dogs in beds and, without asking, volunteers to sleep downstairs on an airbed with the pooch when he visits. But I don't think he gets a very good night's sleep, and that's putting him off coming to stay that often.

Whilst I'm pretty dog-friendly and like this dog a lot, he's pretty big, sheds hair, dribbles and - to be blunt - can have a strong odour. Also the guest bedroom is often used by my student son when he is back from uni, and he's not comfortable with the pooch sleeping in there. And of course, other people use the guest room occasionally.

I'd be more than happy if my friend's dog were to sleep in a basket in the bedroom of course. But my friend is a bit of a soft touch and gave into him coming into the bed.

Friend and I are unlikely to fall out about this - he's pretty easy going and we've been mates since student days (we're in our 50s). But he has been a very good friend over over the years, supporting me through a tough time recently, so I feel a bit conflicted about whether I should accommodate letting his dog sleep in the bed. The mattress is new if that makes any difference.

Any practical suggestions welcomed. Dog lovers, please be kind.

Have name changed because details may out me, but long term user (please don't make me say penis beaker or yoni massage).

YABU = suck it up and stop being precious. You should accommodate your friend's preferences.
YANBU = dogs belong in dog beds (when houseguests)

My very needy dog sleeps on my bed and always has done. He's a small, non-moulting breed so it is better! The best thing I ever did was buy a large fleecy blanket for the top of my bed. Then my dog isn't even touching the duvet, and the odd bit of dirt gets trapped on the fleece.

I completely agree. Who would want to sleep with a smelly dog. It is gross. He may be a good friend but surely your son comes first.

Bit harsh talking about your mate like that

Wouldn't bother me, my dog would sleep in his bed when visiting someone else, he knew at home he could sleep in my bed

I wouldn’t want a dog in the bedrooms, but if you must, a waterproof mattress cover, and he brings his own duvet and pillows.

Also: in our house it isn’t a ‘guest room’ while Dc are at Uni, it’s still their room.

It is not just the bed you have to worry about. If you have curtains and carpets, the dog hairs will make their way on to them. The dog dander will make its way through the carpet and embed in the underlay. The room will remain smelly and be unusable for anyone with allergies.

Waterproof mattress protectors are fine these days op. Get a set of bedding you just use for when the dog stays

Would be reallynunfair on your sonnto let the dog in his bedroom, never mind on the bed. Freind wants to sleep with a dog on an airbed, let him crack on.

It'd depend for me on how much of a pain it is for ME, him sleeping in the living room is (ie, does that mean i have to go to bed earlier than I want)...

If you go for in the spare room, I'd get a cheap duvet and sheet/duvet cover set that otherwise lives in a binbag so it can't transfer hair anywhere else. I assume the dog sleeps on the duvet rather than under it. If under it, mattress protector that also is reserved for doggy guests (again, just a cheap one).

For occasional use like this I don't see dog hair working its way through all that and into the mattress itself. If it were every day use, then yes it eventually would.

Or, just do as he has offered and let him sleep downstairs with the dog on an airbed.

You could ask that he baths the dog before he visits, it is easy to become immune to the pong of your own dog (though mine is so ripe even I can smell him, bathtime for him tomorrow!) so he may not realise how niffy he is!

Does the dog actually sleep IN the bed?

We have a large lab. He sleeps ON our bed.
We have a throw on our bed that's washed with Zoflora (Mumsnet fave!).

I think it's quite unusual for large dogs to actually sleep under the duvet, to be honest,

I love dogs but there's no way I'd be shelling out for bedding & a mattress protector so that a dog could sleep in a bed-especially if the owner had already offered to sleep downstairs!

I am dying to know what sort of 'trouble' is caused by letting dogs upstairs and letting them sleep where they want though.... I've been doing it for over 20 years with multiple dogs of varying sizes from small to giant... When will the 'trouble' start?

OMG - @TakenRoot has made an important point which I think changes my whole opinion.

Surely it's actually your son's bedroom, and not a guest room if he's only left for uni?

that's a whole different question

my son doesn't want dogs sleeping in his bed - is he unreasonable? He is not.

Yuk, as it is really your son's room you and the friend should respect his wishes. Why can't the friend's partner look after the dog? Friend or not I wouldn't have a stinky drooling mutt in my house at all let alone on a bed.

None of my own dogs have ever been allowed to sleep on my bed, but I personally wouldn’t mind someone’s dog sleeping on the guest bed in my house - I’m going to wash the bedding anyway if I’ve had guests. There’s nothing a dog will leave on the sheets that won’t wash out, so it wouldn’t bother me.

However, YANBU to say no to the dog sleeping on the bed if that’s not something you’re comfortable with. It’s your house and your guest room, and it’s totally reasonable not to want your friend’s dog on the bed and I’m sure your friend understands that. I don’t think I know anyone who would expect their dog to be allowed on the bed at someone else’s house.

If he's offered to sleep on an airbed then let him.
I've had labs in the past. They don't drool that much that you'd need a waterproof cover. I was expecting some kind of mastiff or boxer type. A throw will be fine.
It is concerning that there are so many dogs that can't be parted from their owner. It's not good for the dog and it's restrictive for the owner. And as we see here, friends of the owner!
My dog sleeps in a crate. If he comes away with us, we take it with us. If he is boarded while we are away, it goes with him. It's his own little space.

What about a waterproof mattress protector? John Lewis do great ones that don't feel plasticky. That way the mattress is protected regardless. I use it on my bed in case a child decides to come in an vomit or pee on it: sadly an event that happens not that rarely.

So the dog sleeps ‘in’ the bed?

I wouldn’t be happy with anything stinky and drooling in my house never mind in a bedroom! And I have pets!

My dog will sleep on the bed sometimes (smallish dog, not smelly or drooling) but loves his beanbag more than sleeping with me.

What about the dog?

Sorry - couldn't resist 🤣

Ultimately, a mattress protector and wash the sheets. A night or two isn't going to make any permanent difference. Also, you can get a thing for the washing machine to catch the hair. Can't recall the name.

When you said big, hairy, and drools, I assumed you meant a St Bernard.

Labradors are short-haired, medium dogs, who aren't particularly drooly. If they are then there's something wrong.

In short, they will not be leaving gallons of drool in the bed which needs dealing with, nor are they excessively fluffy and hairy.

Get a mattress cover, pillow protectors etc just for him (waterproof if you really need to but I don't think it's necessary for a Labrador), and ask him to bring his own sheets and linen. That will be more than sufficient.

Either that or stick to the current arrangement of an air bed.

It's a non issue. He's offered a solution which gives you what you want-use it or don't.

Also the guest bedroom is often used by my student son when he is back from uni

Is it a guest bedroom? Or your DS’s bedroom? As PP says, important distinction.

This would work IMO!

Could you make downstairs a bit comfier? A sofa bed or a better quality airbed maybe.

Bleurgh. Not a chance. Friend is happy to stay downstairs on airbed, that’s where friend stays. If that means he chooses to visit less often then so be it.

If he hasn’t trained his dog to be left downstairs or even to stay in a basket overnight then he has to accept that’s going to limit who is willing to have him and his dog stay over, and in which rooms.

No it’s disgusting especially as it’s your son’s room and he does not like it . His wishes top the dog’s . I am a dog lover but they belong on the floor