How accurate you would say the whole ”women are choosing to be single” is?

[UserNROsingle]

There a lot of articles these days and my social media (could be algorithm, I know) seems to be full of women saying they rather stay single and comments filled with saying the same thing. Or big talks how women won’t tolerate awfyl behaviour/men anymore.

But, I gotta say, I’m not seeing this in real life. All the women I know are or want to be in relationships. I don’t know one strong or independent woman (nor a man for that matter). And many tolerate awful men and behaviour.

So, I don’t really understand why news keep pushing headline like this? Is it to try and provoke and anger men? Can someone explain?

My youtube algorithm is Trial analyses, loads of psychology videos en Spanish and English, body language analysis, low carb, news, omg 🥰, youtube knows me, we are going steady, You tube is The One

I'm mid 30s and happily single for 10 years. Honestly I think it's having (and being able to afford) an independent set up that keeps me single, and I feel very lucky not to have to settle for something mediocre.

I do get the 'HOW are you single?!' which mildly irritates. I get interest from men but none of them match what I bring to the table (and many are in unhappy relationships, looking to leapfrog onto the next thing. I can sniff this out a mile off). I completely agree with previous posts, a lot of men just aren't adapting unfortunately and need much more from us than we need from them.

PS. I think someone was rattled, maybe her husband forgot to let her out of her cage this morning 🤣

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

I live in a country with no social safety net. I'm not talking about government handouts. I'm talking about a society that makes it easier for people to parent on their own. That just means working conditions and childcare conditions that are more friendly to a single parent.

I don't want to make it easier for people to parent on their own. New humans deserve two viable parents. And we don't need a plethora of new humans; we need fewer.

Yeah, right, okay then. A new human would be a new human whether they have one parent or two. So if we need less humans then perhaps no one should have children at all until we 'equalize' humans with our natural resources.

I know a lot of people who have raised wonderful human beings as single parents. And plenty of two parent homes who have produced 'less than stellar' human beings.

And perhaps you should remember all the single parents who are single because they have been widowed or whose partners have walked out on them. Should we not make it easier for them to parent on their own? Or is it just people who choose single parenthood that should be penalized?

New humans deserve two viable parents.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune they might deserve two, but you only need to read these boards to see how often it turns out that one of them isn't up to the job. With the associated fall-out/impact affecting that new human for the rest of their life.

Better that a new human has one viable parent who will be there for them forever, giving them a stable home life.

Yes, and if what new humans deserve is of any concern to you, then surely being brought up above the poverty line is important to you.
Studies have shown that it is poverty that is the greatest predictor of poor outcomes.

My own parents are married but they have a very strange dynamic. They actually remind me of Harry and meghan but I'll be in trouble for saying that. My mother has her narratives, often they are at my expense, eg, it's not that she cannot communicate, it's that I hurt her (trying to raise the issue). It's not that she is giving me the silent treatment, it's that she needs to protect herself from my ''aggression'' (the expectation that she might talk to me) and my father backs her up every step of the way. She could take out an ad in the times listing all my faults and if I complained, my father would reprimand me for hurting mum.

So. Two parents not always better than one. I have been dragged in to their weird drama triangle and they will not let me escape. Well, I did escape, but forever labelled the persecutor, my mum forever the victim and my dad forever the ''rescuer'' for having backed my mother up telling me off for having hurt mum.

It's such a BASIC quick glance conclusion that two parents are better than one. They might be. They might not be. It depends. I think my Dad on his own would have been better. The house might have been a mess but on his own, he'd have seen us for who we were not shamed us for upsetting mum

Eww glad I do not reside in your world OP. A man would have to be a huge bonus to my already fulfilled life. Really ready happy without one ta

I don’t know one strong or independent woman

I'm really weirded out by this statement. Women who are in a relationship or want to be in one can't be be strong or independent?

They actually remind me of Harry and Meghan but I'll be in trouble for saying that.

Doubt trouble, just weird unless you have in-dept knowledge about their marriage and what type of parents they are.

I'm 61 with three bullshit men behind me. Two of them I was married to.
I'm single now for good. I have many similar friends and a few have had babies on their own. Women are becoming a lot less tolerant of men in my experience.

This!!!

Someone really happy probably doesn't get quite so cross that anybody else is different to them that they pretend those people do not exist and feel the need to RANT ABOUT IT IN CAPITAL LETTERS. 🤣🤣🤣

For that pp to claim the 'literally no married person' wants to be single is such patent nonsense. Do people ever stop and look around them? 🫤

Presumably that poster thinks nobody ever chooses to leave a relationship and become - shock, horror - single! Out of choice! Can you imagine?! 🤣

And as you rightly say if @PurpleButterflyWings is genuinely so content why on God's green earth does she feel the need to lash out in this way at women she supposedly pities.

@Thepeopleversuswork based on her post, almost certainly the motivation is that she is financially reliant on her husband and furious at the idea that other people are not dependent on a man, and therefore desperate to pretend that it is better to live like that and that women who aren't are missing out. 😆

I think you have hit the nail on the head there, @PurpleButterflyWings may well assess her own self worth according to the "status" of the man she has netted, so if other people don't consider having a partner as any sort of indicator of self worth, that is going to be an attack on her very foundations, I suppose

Oh yes. Those tragic cases who when there's a discussion about careers or salaries etc start talking about their husband. 🤣 Who try to gain self-worth from clinging to someone else rather than achieving anything in their own right. Ultimately you're right that the existence of women who are not reliant on a man makes them insecure, hence that angry response, and trying to convince women who are independent that they are inadequate in some way. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Plenty of women choose to be single because of men being insufferable and misogynistic in their ways. And the reason you won't know any strong single women in her 40s who are choosing to be single, is because your friends move in the same circles as you, looking for or wanting men. Women like me know we don't need men and prefer a life filled with fun, positivity, nobody else to look after or do unpaid emotional labour for. I know plenty of single women like me, we are usually lone wolves and we definitely wouldn't choose female friends who pander to the patriarchal ideas, we hang around with women who inspire us the most, the single ones ;)

I used to see just women in relationships. I am single and have been for 15yrs mainly, apart from a brief 3 month relationship last year. I am happy single, men drive me potty and I am a very independent person with my own salary / career. All my friends are in relationships, some happily, some not. Since I joined a hobby which is ladies only I’ve now got lots of single lady friends. In fact I’d say 80% of our group is single. Most age 50 plus, some like me a few years under that. Some are looking, going on dates etc but most are absolutely not and are very content being single. So I guess it depends on the circles you socialise in.

Isn’t it obvious… women now work so they don’t need a man’s money which changes the priority for a mate from requiring resources to help raise children to being about attraction. There are much fewer men who are genuinely attractive so therefore a lot of competition for the attractive men therefore those men can choose whoever they want therefore they sleep around and women get heartbroken saying why are men like this. The truth is most women don’t want most men so the more independent women become the more concentrated the pool of suitable men becomes. On top of this as the quality of men drops it causes women to take on more traditionally masculine traits to carry the burden which then makes the men you want not want to choose you. It’s rough

Quite a lot of snippy replies here.

But I do agree with op.

I’ve seen the same articles and what not’s about women wanting to be single, but it’s not happening IRL.

Vast majority is in relationship / wants one / has ’arragmeants’ - so not actually singe.
And the few singles say out loud that they’d like to be in a relationship, few are scared because of their past relationships.

I’s highly unusual that there’s a woman (or a man) who hasn’t had AND doesn’t one relationship / sex / marriage / kids.

So, I don’t understand the agro in these comments, not to mention, many of the comments saying they like being single are ’older’ (no offence) and already did LTR / marriage and got kids.
So kind of make op’s point.

I know 10 single women, 4 have never married at all, 4 through relationship beakdowns & 2 are widows. None of ghese women are are looking for a relationship now or in the future. They value their independence too much.

Does no relationship = no sex though ?

I am happily married - and also consider myself strong and independent. We have our own accounts plus a joint one for the mortgage which we both pay not. I make my own money and we have our own hobbies etc… and go on holiday with friends once per year.

Joining the ranks of women who are single and have absolutely no interest in changing that. Love my life.

Also my dd is unquestionably better with just one parent (she doesn’t see her father). I am an incredible mum 😁