How accurate you would say the whole ”women are choosing to be single” is?

[UserNROsingle]

There a lot of articles these days and my social media (could be algorithm, I know) seems to be full of women saying they rather stay single and comments filled with saying the same thing. Or big talks how women won’t tolerate awfyl behaviour/men anymore.

But, I gotta say, I’m not seeing this in real life. All the women I know are or want to be in relationships. I don’t know one strong or independent woman (nor a man for that matter). And many tolerate awful men and behaviour.

So, I don’t really understand why news keep pushing headline like this? Is it to try and provoke and anger men? Can someone explain?

I reckon you need to widen your social circle.

I know loads of single by choice, strong, independent happy women.

Don't know any men like this though so maybe I need to widen my social circle too.

I don't know if it's that women are 'choosing to be single' so much as many men finally being recognised as prohibitively awful. Do you want the rotten fish or the or the spoiled meat? Better single.

The single men I know spend a lot of time in the pub, and trying to get mates to go out for company.

I’m one of these women.

I’m not disinterested in men completely but I don’t need one. I have my own home, my child is an adult now, a well paid job, great friends and a lot of confidence to do things on my own. I’m just not willing to put up with a mediocre man… and there are so many mediocre men out there. I feel like women have levelled up and men just haven’t.

I think women are more likely to leave men who don't treat them well now compared to 40 years ago but the majority of women I know are living with a man (married or otherwise) and the single women I know moan they haven't got a partner, so my personal experience is that most women don't want to be single. I'm sure if you are a different demographic you may have different experiences but I'm 50, people want to be happy, content

Are you a bloke? This is a weird take for a woman

So what exactly is a Fwb? Yes, I know what it stands for but it's not straightforward though. I've been with my bf for over 3 years, not married or engaged, no promises and we don't live together. But we're very fond of each other, there's a lot of kisses and cuddles, and we enjoy each other's company. We tend to have a long weekend together alternate weeks.

There seems to be a difference between those who having separated/divorced or widowed choose to be single afterwards, and those who choose to do so separate from a relationship ending. The former more than the latter it seems, though I know both.

If it is a result of women having higher standards than in the past, then so much the better.

I'm married with children. Fairy happy with my lot. However, if I found myself single later in life it would take a lot for me to partner up. I've heard so many stories of men effectively wanting a live-in cook/ cleaner/nurse for a partner. Nah.

I know plenty of happy, single, middle-aged women - including those who have never been married or in a relationship. I think the OP needs to widen her social circle if she thinks "every" woman is in a relationship, or wants to be. This is 2023, not 1950!

I know plenty of intentionally single women. Some can’t be arsed sorting through the shit men anymore so decided to go it alone - kids and all. A couple have been married and said they absolutely wouldn’t be interested in another marriage. Tbh if I ever divorced dh I would not be in another ltr. My marriage is happy but I don’t think I’d want to commit to someone else in that way again.

Quite a number of women are looking on men as a trouble and disruption in their lives that they could well do without. This isn't exactly a new thing. But now women are more financially independent than they were in the past it is becoming more common.

Women and men are always going to want relationships and children, we are biologically programmed that way. The ones who dont are outliers no matter what the media tells us.

I don't know how true this actually is, as I'm in my 40s and my oldest is in their teens, but I have been thinking that I really wouldn't blame a lot of younger women for just avoiding men. There's a lot of research now suggesting that single women are happier without men and a lot of people are beginning to feel like the 'you must be married and have kids' thing was a con to get men's needs met while not actually getting what you want. And maybe it is!

I think we will see a lot more happily single women and unhappily single men as time goes on - I kind of feel for my son and I'll have to tell him as he gets older that he'll have to step up his game in terms of being empathetic, sharing domestic burden etc if he wants a relationship and to actually make a partner happy, not just get his needs met.

I know lots of strong solvent independent women in their 50's , lots have been married / co-habited and all realise their life is better without a man . None are actively looking for a partner because after 50 a lot of men go to seed whereas these women take care of themselves .

That’s me comfortably on the outlier list then, no desire for a relationship or for children!

I think there are lots of single women, especially in the 40-60 age group, who don’t see the point of men.

These women have their own homes, money, careers and social lives.
Perhaps they have children already, have decided they don’t want them or that the time for having them has passed.

They wouldn’t mind a man who was a fun, interesting companion, liked the same things they do, paid his own way, was good in bed and did 50% of the emotional labour in a relationship . However such men seen to be like a 4 leaf clover.

Most seem to want a housekeeper and maid who will be an occasional actor in their own porn soaked fantasies. They have no idea how to give a women pleasure in bed and they have no interest in learning .

Lots have no conversation beyond sport , Tv and their tedious job. they want to sit and home, eat a take away and go to bed alone with their phone and their right hand,

Many want a woman who is 15 years younger than them and childless, then they act surprised when she wants kids. Which they agree to have, then bugger off when it’s too much like work.

So it’s not that all these women don’t want any man. It’s just that they don’t NEED one so they are only willing to pay the cost of having one if it’s worthwhIle. No man is MUCH better than a crap man.

Sadly that leave a lot of crap men , sitting around complaining about women having standards . When what they mean is that now ( some ) women have the choices that men have had for centuries.

Half half, I know independent women who want a relationship because they want a family but have never met anyone who is reasonable enough to have that family with and independent women who don’t care about any of it at all.

Tbh I think it’s dawning on a lot of women that a lot of men aren’t worth the hassle.

@boobot1
Depends on your age doesnt it? Children yes, many women want those. So 20s and 30s women. But you've left rather a lot of women out in your generalisation there - all the 40s, 50s,60s,70s,80s,90s who really don't.

I think it depends on your age group
I’m 59 and about 1/3 of my friends are long term married - presumably happily
The rest of us would not give up being single for the world!
Out of group who are single 50% have given up on men entirely - the other 50% date or have non living together relationships with no desire to change this

From the divorce rate it seems any relationship is better than none for too many women

I definitely think plenty of women are happier being single and are choosing to be so. If my DH died or ran off with someone else I'd choose to live in blissful solitude for many years, if not forever.
Having said that, I think most of the single women I know are actually looking for a man. Obviously it's not representative of women in general - but my single friends are not happily single.

I am in my 20s, and I am just not willing to settle with a man isn't willing to pull his side of raising children and sadly a lot of men still expect the mother to do maternity leave go part time etc and I'm just not willing to live that life, so I would rather be single

I think in general women have levelled up and men have not. Women no longer exist just to please men, more and more women are living to please themselves.

I chose to be single when I had DD at 22, decided to throw all my energy into the two of us and providing a safe and secure home - I was mortgage free by 30 (with the help of a loan from my parent which I'll have finished paying in 6 years). I don't date although have finished my OU degree and DD is a teen so might be open to that now I have more time but I would have no intention of moving a man in, or moving in with a man until DD is settled in adulthood so it seems quite pointless. I've missed that point in life where you learn how to be in a grown up relationship and it's likely km far too stuck in my ways. I would be open to a relationship where we kept our own space though I suppose.