How accurate you would say the whole ”women are choosing to be single” is?

[UserNROsingle]

There a lot of articles these days and my social media (could be algorithm, I know) seems to be full of women saying they rather stay single and comments filled with saying the same thing. Or big talks how women won’t tolerate awfyl behaviour/men anymore.

But, I gotta say, I’m not seeing this in real life. All the women I know are or want to be in relationships. I don’t know one strong or independent woman (nor a man for that matter). And many tolerate awful men and behaviour.

So, I don’t really understand why news keep pushing headline like this? Is it to try and provoke and anger men? Can someone explain?

Load of rubbish.

this

Somebody’s protesting too much.

@orangeleavesinautumn

However, many of my married friends have told me they envy me. I know many of them do, to different extents.

You do know right, that your married friends are just saying this to make you feel better, because they feel sorry for you?

Literally NOBODY in a long term relationship or (marriage) ENVIES people who are single. That's a myth perpetuated by single people. 😂 (To try and convince themselves and everyone else they are blissfully happy, and everyone in a relationship is sooooooooo jell of them being single!) 😆

Of course, I am sure a few posters claiming to be married will come on here now, and claim THEY envy single people. This always happens on these threads.... Funny that! 😆

In the real world, NO-ONE wants to be single forever, and NO-ONE envies single people. Keep telling yourself they do. Doesn't make it true.

I've been married over 30 years, and have never ONCE envied anyone single. Most single people I have met/encountered have been miserable, quite lonely, and seeking companionship/a relationship . And they almost ALWAYS struggle financially, and are working all the hours God sends to make ends meet.

I know 4 or 5 women who are divorced/split from long term partners, who are constantly fighting for extra hours at work just to pay the bills. And they are lonely and miserable. Yeah, fuck that! I'll keep my lovely comfortable MARRIED WOMAN lifestyle ta, with my amazing husband who's also my best friend ...

And mock and berate all you like. IDGAF. It seems to be OK for the singles on here to blather about how it's SOOOOOOOOOO amazing to be single ... But God FORBID anyone comes on here saying how they love being married, and how much they love their husband and how happy their marriage is. Noooooo, not allowed! On Mumsnet (according to some) you can only be MISERABLE if you're married!

I'm out. I'll leave you to it.

I know lots and I think it’s brilliant.

Is it to try and provoke and anger men
hahaha no. To assume that women living their best lives just to piss off men is hilarious.

I keep on hearing this word 'strong' when it comes to women, so if a women is not 'strong' is she 'weak'? And it seems is she is in a relationship this means she is not strong?

I see lots of women who as soon as they are out of a relationship jump straight into another, but there are others who are happily single but some who have a friends with benefits thing or are in open relationships

Is this satire or are you that desperate for male validation. Wow.

absolute negging.

And mock and berate all you like

not mock or berate. Pity.

And I also believe those particular women are not happy and DO secretly crave being in a relationship.

And just because you are so desperado to be with a man at all times doesn’t mean that other women also do. again not mocking or berating, just shocked you’d assume that all women are quite as needy about relationships as you are.

Im sure you’re busy typing a 30 paragraph angry post now about how happy you are. 😂

I'm not alone through choice but because sadly I find it impossible to meet someone I want to share my life with.

Gotta be honest @PurpleButterflyWings . You sound like a complete bell end.

Blimey!! What a bizarre post!
What have are you trying to prove to yourself?
Look many married people are unhappy, many single people are happy and vice versa! Happiness does not depend on marital status. In fact I'm sure I've seen studies that say single women are happier than married women in general. What do you say to that?!
Anyway, I am married and I am happily married but yes, even I sometimes envy single people. My DH is wonderful but sometimes I dream of living alone with only myself to please. It would be bliss for me. I'm an introvert and love being alone. Sounds like you couldn't be happy without a man.

@PurpleButterflyWings you very much sound like someone who protests too much. You are (apparently) very happily married, good for you, genuinely. That doesn’t mean single women are unhappy because they don’t live your life. It certainly doesn’t mean there are many (many) women out there who wouldn’t be single if given the means and opportunities. However viewing the world from your own narrative rather than listening to the real experiences of others here is quite damaging. No one is trying to diminish the ones who are happily married, they’re simply stating that not all women want a serious relationship with a man, for many a reason. That their own well-being is positively amplified by not having a man as part of their every day life.

100% this

I think women evolve much more quickly than men so I suspect it will be a long time before it gets through to men that they need to up their game in order to get relationships. Too many think they want strong, independent women but the reality of having to pull their weight often changes their minds.

The big problem is the men who expect a 1950s relationship and how society deals with their reactions to not getting what they desire.

Literally NOBODY in a long term relationship or (marriage) ENVIES people who are single.

That's really one the silliest things I've read on MN in a while.

I think purplebutterfly represents exactly that element of society that confers higher status on married women and she likes that feeling of higher status for herself.

She sees single people (women particularly I would say) as having a lower status.

I'm aware that a lot of people think like this and do find it hard to believe women can be happy single.

I don't really care what people think about my singledom. It's very freeing.

@Thepeopleversuswork I agree that the rise of the right is very frightening and we are seeing the eroding of women's rights happening before our eyes.

This is exactly my single friends experience. Men do not enrich their lives, if anything they just bring additional tasks. They have everything they need, they can provide for themselves, they have varied friends and are always out or doing something amazing. Amazing holidays, yoga retreats, nothing holds them back.

it’s a small world for one particular poster here.

Again, load of rubbish.

Many people are happily married. Many people are unhappily married. Many people are happily single. Many people are unhappily single.

I'm not sure why you are so intent on disbelieving the women who tell you they are happily single. Just because you might not be able to cope alone doesn't mean we can't.

I was in a 25 year relationship and if you’d asked me back then, I could never imagine being happily single.
So when my relationship broke down I jumped onto a rebound within a year and it wasn’t a great experience.

So I decided to be single by choice for a while to understand myself and what I wanted from life better. And I’ve never been so happy and comfortable in my own skin as I am now.

I agree with PP’s who say we are not prepared to settle for the wrong man who doesn’t enhance our quality of life. I’d rather be single forever than settle for a man who wants a replacement wife/mother to cook and clean for him. I’ve built a nice life over the last few years and I’m not prepared to compromise on that just to be with a man.

Like a lot have said, if it happens and someone worthwhile comes along then great. However, I will never live with a man again. I love my own space and my privacy.
Happy to date but no one is moving in

This sums up my thoughts (and situation).

Many people are happily married. Many people are unhappily married. Many people are happily single. Many people are unhappily single.

Exactly. There are people in states of satisfaction and people in states of dissatisfaction in all scenarios. For that pp to claim the 'literally no married person' wants to be single is such patent nonsense. Do people ever stop and look around them? 🫤

@PurpleButterflyWings even by your standards this is a particularly immoderate, spiteful and defensive post.

You're very entitled to your happy marriage. As are others with happy marriages. Nobody is taking that away from you.

Lots of us are celebrating the fact that women are increasingly able to see the benefits and advantages of the single life. A life, let's no forget, that until about 30 years ago we were told was a sign that we were basically subhuman.

If some of us are now seeing the fruits of our independence and allowing ourselves to enjoy it (with all the history and bigotry that has gone before that) and you can't bring yourself to allow us to celebrate and enjoy that you really are a mean minded person.

I'm not usually a fan of the argument that a disagreement means someone is "bitter": I think its a cheap and intellectually dishonest bat-back which usually says more about the poster than the postee. But in this case it's hard to see what other motive you have.

Why bother making such a spiteful and vindictive comment on a thread which is clearly not designed for people like you? Why jump in with both big feet to prevent women who have been on the receiving end of societal discrimination for centuries from having their moment in the sun?

You're entitled to your opinion of course but if you lack the intellect and emotional intelligence to see how crashingly stupid your argument is, a period of graceful silence from you would be appreciated.

I’m very happy being single, I absolutely have chosen it and would reject any kind of serious relationship. I think you are a bit unusual OP and it may be your circles - having said that, I think there is still a massive amount of pressure to be in a couple, society finds women who genuinely don’t want to be quite odd, friends etc still tend to treat them as if they somehow haven’t achieved success/set them up with people/constantly ask about their love life, and I think sometimes women don’t always push back with everyone on this - as people often don’t believe it anyway! So it may be that more women you know do actually feel like that, they’re just not advertising it.

For me, one of the most pivotal moments in my life is when I realised I had never been happier - or even as happy - in a relationship than I am on my own. Then I had my son and realised my pursuit of relationships had just been a means to an end all along. I have everything I want now, I have peace of mind, relative freedom (single parenting aside) none of the bullshit I’ve dealt with over the years, I am completely independent and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am not totally ruling out that I might meet someone absolutely amazing who might be worth making adjustments for, but I genuinely don’t think it’s likely and still would not want to live with or get married to them. As Eartha Kitt once said, amid peals of laughter: “What for?!!”

Yeh, I wonder, Am I choosing not to be let down, disappointed, used, taken advantage of.. or am I choosing to be single??

Either way, I'm happier now. I actively surrendered ha 😂 to being single. I stopped looking which some people would judge as bitter/avoidant/risk averse, but whatever.

How odd you dont know anyone like that? I know 5 women off the top of my head who choose to stay single