son with older woman

[maratara]

I'm very happy with my son having a lovely lady who is 12 yo older but other people are worried. He is 25 and she is 37.
Would that bother you?
He had a terrible gf before so I am very happy.
Obviously not my business - was just looking for thoughts

It seems very much the case and comes across that some women only support other women unless their precious (adult) baby boys are potentially involved and then the woman is as wicked and scheming as they come

See the nightmare MILs people post about? It's them. If the woman was the "appropriate" age I'm sure they'd still find some other fault, no-one is good enough for their prince.

I'm 33 and the thought of dating a 25yo makes me feel sick. I can't imagine what I'd have in common with them.

I was 25 when I got together with my ex, then 32. It didn't really feel like a gap at all, we were into all the same stuff.

A few things DP and I had in common at 33 and 24, to help you out:

2 kids, joint mortgage, types of music we like, a few hobbies and interests, similar movies and TV shows to watch together... I won't go on, but it really isn't difficult to imagine what people can have in common. My ex was a year older than me and horribly abusive, so I don't have "within a couple of years of my age" as a set requirement to ensure happiness. 🙄

DP and I are now in our second home bought together and still very happy.

I'm not sure everyone with reservations is some sort of evil MIL.

I think it's common sense to consider a new partner's life experience, current situation, likely aspirations or goals and how the relationship might be affected.

Obviously saying any 30-something year old women must be looking for a baby daddy is horribly misogynistic. I don't think it's unfair to give some consideration that age, levels of financial independence, a potential ability to manage solo if needed etc might affect contraception choices.

(FWIW I think young men should have it drilled into them that they shouldn't rely on any woman taking the pill as their sole contraception though unless they're in an established relationship and are happy to take the risk of the pill not working, their partner not taking it properly etc).

My opinion would be dependent on what the 37 year old was like, and also if there could be step-children should the relationship continue long term say to marriage.

It's not as if he wants to be President of France!!

Is he sensible and aware she might want children asap? If so and he's fine with it then no problem. If he was being irresponsible about the chance of a pregnancy then I'd be worried that he wasn't mature enough for the relationship - but what can you do, he's an adult.

I wouldn't you h a 25 year old at 37 years old!

I'm not sure everyone with reservations is some sort of evil MIL.

No not everyone of course, I could have worded that better. Just some of the more misogynistic posts rather than the ones with realistic concerns.

No not everyone of course, I could have worded that better. Just some of the more misogynistic posts rather than the ones with realistic concerns
That makes sense and I'd agree with you on that.

Then he would be a school boy ;)

As long as they have the same views on things like children, finances, and social life. And that they're on the same page as to whether they're looking for a fun fling or something more serious. Good luck to them!

I'm 34 and my partner is 26
Didn't think so many would have an issue with this

Ex partner even

Haven't RTFT ( my own - I'm on it now , been away). But I suppose I do have a deep down worry. He is coming off a terrible very long term relationship so I wonder if this is just giving him stability ( she is lovely ). You know leaping from chaos to surety. I'm sure it will all work out in the end. Just was wondering if others had experience of this type of relationship. Usually, it's the older man and the younger woman. SO it's a wee bit unusual.
Reading the thread now. Ta for all responses.

I wouldn’t like that fact that if she wanted children then they would need to crack on pretty soon.

It’s not so much that they wouldn’t be together long it’s that’s children change the dynamic of your life forever. They won’t have much fun time together before kids.

Oh that's lovely!
Answering some other questions - yes my son is a very young looking 25 , but she is a young looking 37. She has never been married and has no children . She out earns him by a factor of at least 3. She will not put up with any shite ( being lazy, messy etc) . I think she is great. I just have a bad feeling that it isn't going to last and the worst thing would for him to go back to his previous gf. He's gone from one extreme to another. Hopefully it will all work out. He deserves it. FX

Perhaps a bit surprised as it’s certainly unusual but if she’s a good person then crack on.
I was 35 and DH 28 when we met.
My male friend in his 40s is with a woman in her 20s and she totally pursued him

I’m 29 and my partner is 53 That’s 24 years!! Let the man be happy. He’s an adult.

I was 37 seeing a 25 year old once upon a time. I was divorced with 2 kids it was meant to be a fling it lasted 3 years. He always used a condom incase I was trying to trap him lol 😂...I really didn't want more kids. I wanted to party and have fun when my kids were at their dads .. he wanted to stay in and watch films lol.

I was gutted when it ended but I always knew it was going to. I never let him form a relationship with my kids and only saw him when they were not around.

He is with a younger girl now he wanted to stay friends but I needed to get over him
Funnily enough tho I wouldn't be happy if my son did this. So hypercritical 😂

Has nobody mentioned reproduction?

A 37 year old man and a 25 year old woman have plenty of time for children.

A 37 year old woman and a 25 year old man are cutting it fine as a couple. For the couple it’s urgent. For him it’s early to be making the decision.

The two age gap situations are totally different.

I see that people have

Had a lovely msg from her today , saying how much she loves him ( my son) but only time will tell if the relationship lasts ; due to the fact that she want's children soon and he may not want them for a decade.
Not sure how to respond.
She fits beautifully into our family and has done him a world of good.

But it's up to DS if he wants a child at what would be 26. I had my first at 23 but that was almost 30 years ago.