son with older woman

[maratara]

I'm very happy with my son having a lovely lady who is 12 yo older but other people are worried. He is 25 and she is 37.
Would that bother you?
He had a terrible gf before so I am very happy.
Obviously not my business - was just looking for thoughts

Contraception... he needs to always use condoms. I'd assume she is after a baby daddy.

That would apply regardless of age.

I always ended up with older guys. Didnt work out but then neither did guys my own age.

They are both presumably consenting adults. Sure you could look long term and think " this won't work" but life is to short to not enjoy what you could have now just because in 2 years there might be an issue or 2 or people they don't know on the Internet have a weird idea about how the relationship must be.

And?
It doesn't mean it wouldn't bother a,parent even if there's nothing they can do.about it
Yes it would bother me.

It applies regardless but 25 year old men/boys won't have much experience of baby hungry late 30s women so might not be alert. They might be assuming when they say they are on the pill, it's true, and that they would get an abortion if anything did go wrong with contraception.

And what if she isn't anything like you were at that age ?Maybe she's had a string of failed relationships ,several children and living on benefits?
Yes that's an extreme examp!e but its a bit ridiculous to assume she's financially secure .

Maybe he's just enjoying the sex and sees it himself as short term who knows.

Sounds like OP it bothers you but there is nothing you can do about it.

Why would she be baby hungry?l lots of women decide not to have children. And there's every chance hes had as many or more sexual partners as she has. Besides what she did before she met him is her business.

I’d be worried that at 37 she’s wants a child and there going to be a happy accident

Depends entirely on the woman and the son tbh

She's going to be in a rush if she hasn't had and wants kids - he might not be ready for that stage of his life financially or emotionally or he might be - could easily lead to him having kids before the relationship is as solid as he wants one to be prior to a family, that'd probably concern me as his mum

If he looked or acted particularly youthful for his age, that would bother me more than if she does - I'd find her interest weird then but if he's clearly a "man" not teenage looking and mature- then crack on imo

It wouldn't bother me.
My son was seeing a 36 year old woman when he was 17.
My daughter was seeing a man who was a good 20 years older than her when she was 19.
It's entirely their own choice.

Age difference not an issue.
Different life stages? Ermm, maybe… is she looking to have children soonish? That would be my only concern.

Otherwise - ignore 3rd party opinions if they are making each other happy

Yes, it would worry me. I've a 27 year old son, I don't truthfully find 25 year old males anywhere as mature as 25 year old females. I can't understand why a woman of 37 would want to be with someone who wasn't emotionally as mature as she is.
I always find it funny that there is always the cry that 'brains aren't fully developed until 25', then an older woman shags a young man and everyone says its OK. IME, men are always thinking with what's in their trousers no matter what their age, and the younger they are the worse that is.

I think I would if it were my son. Just wonder what a 37 year old would have in common with a 25 year old apart from the obvious. What was difficult with her not having relationships with men her own age/older? And that would also be the same if roles were reversed. They are different points of their lives.

It would bother me in the sense that they’re likely at completely different life stages and he may well miss out on adventure, travel, partying, building the foundations of his career, etc. Especially if she is at the stage of wanting children.

I would be concerned because of the different life stages. My DS is nearly 24 and not thinking of DC until he is nearly 30. In this case the partner would be 42 and it would be much harder to conceive at that age.

Would it have bothered you if your son had got his 36 year old girlfriend pregnant at 17?
I have a 16 year old son I would bee horrified if he had a,girlfriend 20 years older .

I wouldn’t tell him, but yes it would massively bother me.

I'm 12 years older than DH. We were harshly judged all round, particularly me as I was the older one. DH proposed after five days. Nobody thought we would last.

We're still together 22 years later and have had a wonderful life together.

Big age differences are only an issue when there's an power imbalance, imo. That wasn't the case with us. You also have to have frank discussions about having children.

We've never 'felt' the age difference - it's absolutely irrelevant to our day to day lives.

I’m struggling to see what a 36 year old woman would see in a 17 year old boy. I mean, at 17, you still look like a child/teenager.

You can be very different ages and still be at similar life stages. When I met DH we both enjoyed 'partying' for want of a better word. We did all the adventures together as our relationship progressed - much more fun to do wonderful things with someone you love. And being in a relationship doesn't bar you from career building in any way.

Tbf ,my 16 year old has a full.beard and hairy chest he does look quite a bit older than 16 ,but otherwise I agree with you hes,still.a kid ,what would a women so much older want with a 17 j year old ?

How nasty... and more than a bit misogynistic.

ODFOD.

Assumptive, and misogynistic.

I am 10 years older than my DH. We got together when he was 21 and I was 31. We've been together 20 years and I never notice the age gap.