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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's already started

251 replies

Haruka · 23/07/2023 09:23

Oh my.

Day two of the official start to the holiday. Already, I have heard two sets of parents utter the exact same thing to their poor kids. "Can't wait until you're back at school". One this morning, another dad on Friday at pick-up, the literal beginning of the holidays, saying he'll celebrate the day they go back in September.

Yes, I'm being a massive judgey-pants, but the holidays are 6 weeks long and some people can't even stand to be around their kids for a day, let alone the weeks yet to come?

I don't know, it makes me so sad. And while everyone gets annoyed by their kids at some point, you don't openly tell them you wish they were somewhere else?

Pretty sure IANBU, but it's every holiday I hear this kind of thing and every time it gets me.

OP posts:
iwantabreakfastpantry · 23/07/2023 12:18

ReachForTheMars · 23/07/2023 09:25

Shocker, kids are annoying and parents enjoy routine.

Yes, it is shocking. Totally normal to feel stressed about how you are going to manage the holiday, whether it being able to keep them occupied or affording to buy the extra food. Have a moan to a fellow parent.
Not ok to tell the DCs - it may be a flippant comment but to a child it can cut deep esp if they are primary school age and cannot see it from an adult’s perspective.

JMSA · 23/07/2023 12:21

I suspect that most school holiday lovers have only one child.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 23/07/2023 12:21

Best one is an acquaintance of mine who for the past few weeks kept saying how she can't wait for the holidays to start, how shit the school run,homework,commitments,routine etc are. Today she's moaning the school holidays are too long, and how she can't wait for the kids to go back. Grin

Fidelina · 23/07/2023 12:25

JMSA · 23/07/2023 12:21

I suspect that most school holiday lovers have only one child.

I have only one child, and wouldn’t call myself a fan of the summer holidays (and I’m not in the UK, so summer holidays for primary school are all of July and August. Yes, I’m paying for holiday childcare/camps etc for only one child, so it’s less expensive than if I had several, but he’s still young enough to need childcare, and that involves exactly the same organisational issues as with more.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 23/07/2023 12:27

But the summer holidays are not a treat to working parents!!

DD is of an age where they really don't want to go to a holiday club abs hang out with 4 year olds, but are too young to stay home alone all day.

Iolani · 23/07/2023 12:28

Maybe because we had three boys three years apart they entertained themselves a lot when old enough.

We both worked too for some of the holiday so they were at residentials for a week or so. Then we went abroad for a holiday.
Tbh it was more an issue with other parents with lone children wanting to drop theirs off at ours to be entertained as they didn’t have any siblings. After a while that started to p… me off.

Generally it always felt like the holidays went so fast.

1035tg · 23/07/2023 12:30

Gosh people are precious. Do you think your own parents were so politically correct? Mine were not (father a lawyer and mother a very time pressed GP) and I'm very well adjusted

Tumbleweed101 · 23/07/2023 12:30

I have four children and always loved the summer holidays. No busy routine just relaxing days even if we didn't go far. I am a working single parent so it's not like I was able to avoid some juggling either.

Singingthesong · 23/07/2023 12:32

Ours have already been off for two weeks as they have two months for summer holidays. It’s gone pretty quickly so far so will be over in a flash I think. Too many people wishing their lives away. We are all dead a long, long time.

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/07/2023 12:34

orangeleavesinautumn · Today 09:27
ReachForTheMars · Today 09:25

Shocker, kids are annoying and parents enjoy routine.

“I do find it shocking, yes. Why do people have kids if they find them so annoying? Poor kids”

This. If you find your own kids annoying, you’re probably doing something wrong.

MrsSkylerWhite · 23/07/2023 12:36

orangeleavesinautumn · Today 09:26
Even MN has a sponsored thread on "surviving" the holidays, as if the summer is an ordeal, rather than a treat that you spend the rest of the year working towards and waiting for.”

Weird, isn’t it? Can’t bring myself to look at that thread because I know it would wind me up 😁

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 23/07/2023 12:37

1035tg · 23/07/2023 12:30

Gosh people are precious. Do you think your own parents were so politically correct? Mine were not (father a lawyer and mother a very time pressed GP) and I'm very well adjusted

My parents weren't either ( navy and midwife , don't see why it matters) and I'm pretty fucked up. Funny how that works.

LaMaG · 23/07/2023 12:46

Week 5 here of 9 week summer in Rep of Ireland for younger kids. Week 10 of 14 weeks for teenager....

Mayhem3 · 23/07/2023 12:46

FantasticallyFabulous · 23/07/2023 11:40

I get that you love the summer holidays (and clearly you don’t have a job to juggle as you can ‘sit home doing nothing’ ) but to say this:

‘I’ll never understand why people have kids and then moan about the holidays’

shows a spectacular lack of intellect and that MN thing of only being able to see things from your own tiny world view. Now you have read people’s reasons, has that helped expand your limited understanding a little? It’s good to educate yourself a bit and have empathy. Not everyone is like you and had the same privileges!

Show quote history

@FantasticallyFabulous

I’m a single parent with zero help and have always worked FT and have always had very little money, so my struggles are much worse than most peoples on MN.

Every day is a struggle.
But I have never blamed my child for this.

I would never blame my child for inconveniencing me during the holidays because it is not their fault and this was something I knew about before having kids.

I feel sorry for your kids and all of the other kids of parents on here who are blamed for something that isn’t their fault.
It’s cruel.

Heyheyitsanotherday · 23/07/2023 12:46

pinkdelight · 23/07/2023 09:36

Ugh, the superiority complex of sporty families.

Show quote history

Yep I’m with you. Def superiority complex written right there!! How dare anyone do anything else but constant activities with their children 🙄🙄🙄
il be honest, we like a mix. A bike ride …. Brilliant. Followed by Sunday dinner and snuggled watching a movie after… lovely. Unsure how it’s lazy parenting. And if someone doesn’t do the bike ride it’s not “terrible lazy parenting”. Each to their own. You love your kids, feed them, keep them safe… sounds like good parenting to me. I loathe judgy mc judgasons! Jog on with your opinions that make people feel crap.

Mayhem3 · 23/07/2023 12:48

JMSA · 23/07/2023 12:21

I suspect that most school holiday lovers have only one child.

So the kid should be blamed for not being an only child?

Why have multiple children if you’re going to moan to them every year?

LaMaG · 23/07/2023 12:49

Just cos a person is struggling during the summer does not mean they shouldn't have had kids or don't love them FFS. How many times do you hear someone complain about their job and people nod along in sympathy, they don't turn around and say well you chose this career...or same with relationships. Some aspects are really hard for some people, all children are not created equal and some are extremely difficult out of routine. I don't think its unreasonable for a person to express that they find it hard sometimes!

turnthetoiletpaperroundproperly · 23/07/2023 12:50

I love the school holidays with my daughter its a fabulous time.I look forward to this all year. Having said that money is not an issue and I dont work so I have nothing to juggle. I hate the moaners with a passion though, they all knew what it would be like when they chose to become parents.

pinkyredrose · 23/07/2023 12:52

orangeleavesinautumn · 23/07/2023 09:27

I do find it shocking, yes. Why do people have kids if they find them so annoying? Poor kids

Show quote history

Presumably they don't know they're annoying until they have them it's a bit late by then.

BeautifulWar · 23/07/2023 12:53

But the summer holidays are not a treat to working parents!!

That's completely subjective. I'm a working parent (FT and also a widow) but they're a treat to me! I've booked time off each week to do fun things, the logistics are easier for me re childcare drop offs and weekend activities have stopped, so we'll do some different things for the next 6 weeks. Everyone's circumstances are different.

I don't think it's on for people to tell their children that they can't wait for them to go back to school though.

FourTeaFallOut · 23/07/2023 12:54

I bloody love the summer holidays and I have three kids.

People have some off notions about having multiple dc. Like they have never considered for a second that some people have more children because they actually enjoy spending time with them

Mayhem3 · 23/07/2023 12:56

LaMaG · 23/07/2023 12:49

Just cos a person is struggling during the summer does not mean they shouldn't have had kids or don't love them FFS. How many times do you hear someone complain about their job and people nod along in sympathy, they don't turn around and say well you chose this career...or same with relationships. Some aspects are really hard for some people, all children are not created equal and some are extremely difficult out of routine. I don't think its unreasonable for a person to express that they find it hard sometimes!

It’s fine to express it as much as you want - but just not to the kids when it’s not their fault, which is what this thread is about.

There are people moaning about how hard it is having multiple kids or juggling working with childcare over the summer.

None of which is the kids fault and they
shouldn’t be made to feel bad for your poor choices.

I assume these people must have had kids and assumed the government would pay to look after them for free or something.

Why act like it’s a massive inconvenience when the summer holidays have been around for years and are something to consider before choosing to have kids.

What’s even more annoying is that most of the people moaning are from 2 parent families who don’t have half the struggle that is single parents do.

ReachForTheMars · 23/07/2023 12:58

orangeleavesinautumn · 23/07/2023 09:27

I do find it shocking, yes. Why do people have kids if they find them so annoying? Poor kids

Show quote history

Bit late by then.

Plus, if you're parenting properly its fucking hard work playing barbies and being told exactly what your doll needs to say and do on rinse and repeat for 6 weeks, in between taking them out only for them to moan because you haven't bought them the ridiculously expensive item from the gift shop and therefore the whole day was crap for them 😏

Get off your high horse. Not all parents who find kids annoying hate them. Cherish every moment is bullshit.

FourTeaFallOut · 23/07/2023 12:58

Although, admittedly, I'd enjoy it some more if the forecast wasn't wall to wall rain for the next fortnight.

ReachForTheMars · 23/07/2023 13:01

turnthetoiletpaperroundproperly · 23/07/2023 12:50

I love the school holidays with my daughter its a fabulous time.I look forward to this all year. Having said that money is not an issue and I dont work so I have nothing to juggle. I hate the moaners with a passion though, they all knew what it would be like when they chose to become parents.

Very few people on your circumstances would moan or foresaw their fortunes changing so its a bit rich to act like someone who needs a full time job and is juggling childcare and managing on a limited budget for the entire 6 weeks feels the same. Or that those parents dont love their kids as much as anyone else but are finding it hard.