It's already started

[Haruka]

Oh my.

Day two of the official start to the holiday. Already, I have heard two sets of parents utter the exact same thing to their poor kids. "Can't wait until you're back at school". One this morning, another dad on Friday at pick-up, the literal beginning of the holidays, saying he'll celebrate the day they go back in September.

Yes, I'm being a massive judgey-pants, but the holidays are 6 weeks long and some people can't even stand to be around their kids for a day, let alone the weeks yet to come?

I don't know, it makes me so sad. And while everyone gets annoyed by their kids at some point, you don't openly tell them you wish they were somewhere else?

Pretty sure IANBU, but it's every holiday I hear this kind of thing and every time it gets me.

Do not suffer in silence. By all means rant ,rave and cry to other people. Most of my friends do, most of the time I offer to have the kids over to give them a break, or to all go out to the park or somewhere so they can have some adult company while the kids are fairly safe and entertained. That's ok, it's actually healthy. What's not ok is saying it to the actual children.

I think it's really sad but then mine aren't school age yet. I'm looking forward to my toddler being back at nursery on Monday after two and a half weeks off but I would never say that to him!

Think it if you have to but don't say it to your poor kids.

every day is like the school summer holidays for DD and me.

I get that you love the summer holidays (and clearly you don’t have a job to juggle as you can ‘sit home doing nothing’ ) but to say this:

‘I’ll never understand why people have kids and then moan about the holidays’

shows a spectacular lack of intellect and that MN thing of only being able to see things from your own tiny world view. Now you have read people’s reasons, has that helped expand your limited understanding a little? It’s good to educate yourself a bit and have empathy. Not everyone is like you and had the same privileges!

I agree..why the hell keep churning kids out if you don't want to look after the children you create?

Just have one!..or better, none.

But tbh if I speak to most adults all I get is "well you chose to have them" and yeah I did.

Grr, when I hear that it makes my blood boil. I just don't speak to those people about my parenting struggles anymore. Paradoxically I found more support online - you do need to know where to look though, not Mumsnet in the slightest, I'd recommend specific Facebook groups. I'm pretty alone in the world so finding that support has been so good. I also read and listen to a lot psychology podcasts etc.
I'm now in a place where I finally feel confident in my abilities, it helps my DD is older and I can see some results of my parenting.
I hope you'll get there too.

I completely agree- Just don't keep producing children if you can't care for them properly {emotionally and financially}

Far better to have one that is cared for than three or more that aren't.

Who's said they don't want to look after them?

Like i said, i love having my kids home, but its essentially 6 weeks of house arrest for me with one being disabled and my being his full time carer. School time is when i have time to run errands and get chores done that he can't handle being done when he is around.

I worked and found the summer holiday planning stressful and expensive. But I absolutely loved the 2-3 weeks I had off with the kids. But they were very easy kids with no special needs.

I can’t remember if I ever said this, but I can imagine joking around and saying it. In the context of a loving happy childhood, it would have zero impact. If kids are unhappy and neglected otherwise then of course it’s a hurtful thing to say.

Being a parent is about so much more than enjoying six weeks off with them. You can dislike holidays and still be a great parent.

A needy stay at home mum whose life revolves around those six weeks glued to her kids is hardly a healthy phenomenon either!

Single mum of 2 children with complex autism and I HATE the holidays and count down the days til they’re over. It’s a constant state of distress here where we’re out of routine, can’t go anywhere or do anything unless I have a chaperone as both need 1:1 care outside. It’s a fucking nightmare.

People who preach that crap are a bit thick. They identify solely as parents, have zero understanding that other people have different situations to themselves and maintain their self-esteem by awarding themselves gold medals for their parenting. Ignore them. They have little else going on in their lives.

Typical England- centric MN. We've been on holiday for 4 weeks already in Scotland, with 3.5 more to go. I've bought all school uniform and shoes already for the new term starting on August the 16th (because we're going on holiday soon). That advertising is not just for you.

For working parents 6 weeks of holidays are actually pretty challenging however much you love your kids!!!!

@KeeefBurtain from one parent/carer to another.. 🌸🌸
you can do this, we both can.

some of us get it, just hang in there ☕

What a horrible classist, ableist thread.

I don’t have any of your challenges but am sending you bucket-loads of sympathy. That sounds so tough. All those structures and routines gone.

You deserve a medal way more than the smuggo mums here who sit around doing nothing most of the time.

I did allow them.

I wonder if to some extent we all mimic our own childhoods. My kids certainly had a lot of freedom some of their peers didn't, even though they were brought up in a city not on an island.

I had a school mum friend who wouldn't let her DC walk through the (very beautiful and open to the public) cemetery as a short cut to school, even when they were with her. I don't know what she was expecting to happen. The place is an oasis of trees and wildlife, with a main thoroughfare. All you need to teach the DC is, 'if you see a funeral or mourners, step aside, be nice and quiet while you pass, and show respect'.

Apart from the nightmare of finding childcare, I love the school holidays.
I work weekends so my days off are in the week, so we get time together in the holidays.
Dd and I plan little projects together. This holiday we are decorating and reorganising her bedroom.

Why isn't the advertising geographically skewed, then? My south east UK Tesco is awash with back to school stuff. Term finished less than 48 hours ago, no-one will go back til early September. For my DC, clothes bought now are unlikely to fit by then. I doubt very much if any Scottish school children are down here.

I remember my mum saying this to me. Didn’t upset me in the slightest. I probably just stuck my tongue out at her. Which was the standard response to any parental moaning in our house

Yes we had a bus shelter advertising "back to school" in mid June, when even ds (year 11) hadn't quite finished.
We're in the SE, so maybe I should have just assumed they were advertising for the unlikely chance that there's a Scottish family choosing to holiday in our non-touristy town and needing to be reminded, while on holiday, to get the school uniform for next term.

YANBU. I work full time and have to be really careful with my AL, I would love to be able to spend an extended amount of time with my child like I could when he was younger and I worked part time. I feel constant guilt about not giving him the best summer.

I suggest you ask the MD of H&M/Tesco (*MargaretThursday), it's not my call.

I imagine it's so people can budget in their weekly shop/ remind people when clothes shopping to pick up a few things at a time perhaps.

I don't think it's a huge issue to get wound up about. For decades we've listened to TV/ Radio talk about Summer holidays/ half-term that have no relation to our breaks at all, such is life.

You sound like the OP, also a single parent (to one child), who thinks that 'mental load' is rubbish and it's easy to just do things.

Are you bored, or are there more of you out there?

As a nanny to ASD children over the years, I feel you. The lack of routine in the school holidays is a nightmare. Even when you try to make a timetable to the day it's not the same, meltdowns are at an all time high!