It's already started

[Haruka]

Oh my.

Day two of the official start to the holiday. Already, I have heard two sets of parents utter the exact same thing to their poor kids. "Can't wait until you're back at school". One this morning, another dad on Friday at pick-up, the literal beginning of the holidays, saying he'll celebrate the day they go back in September.

Yes, I'm being a massive judgey-pants, but the holidays are 6 weeks long and some people can't even stand to be around their kids for a day, let alone the weeks yet to come?

I don't know, it makes me so sad. And while everyone gets annoyed by their kids at some point, you don't openly tell them you wish they were somewhere else?

Pretty sure IANBU, but it's every holiday I hear this kind of thing and every time it gets me.

Oh, do fuck off.

I'm not superior at all. But I value my kids health and fitness. I don't want them sat on their bums being fed sugary hot chocolate in the summer.
It's pure laziness.

I know And their need to tell everyone just how active and outdoorsy they are ;-)

I agree OP, I am also a single parent and would never ever say this to my 3 dc. It is difficult juggling children and work over the summer holidays but I would hate for them to ever think they are a burden or not wanted. If all else fails it's Netflix and pyjama days here, as I can't afford summer clubs, but that is also ok.

I have family members who make these sorts of comments to their kids and the constant reinforcement to them being burdens is just awful for them.

It's fine to get annoyed or argue with them, everyone has done that, but to say something so hurtful as a throwaway comment is awful. Every child should feel loved and wanted in their own homes.

But people who don't work so they can spend more time with their children (e.g. by being there for school pick ups, by doing the housework when the children are at school) are lazy and being carried by the rest of the family? According to you on another thread.

Exactly. Surely it’s not hard to grasp that working parents with young children find the summer vac real challenging, and a constant juggle in terms of summer camps, other forms of childcare etc.?

The first week or two in particular are always stressful.

Funny thing is, we’re a “sporty family” (whatever that is) and spent the majority of yesterday soaked and freezing at a tournament.

I suspect I know what the kids would have preferred in hindsight, and apparently it’s the lazy parenting option….

Not necessarily a highlight for working parents who are judging work and arranging expensive childcare/holiday clubs for 6-7 weeks.

I mean, personally I'm going to home educate, so my views on the whole thing are different, and irrelevant, but surely you can't be that judgy about both ends of the spectrum, can you?!

It's not laziness if you are a single parent and it's a choice between paying the mortgage or having days out.

But I do agree it's not something to encourage wherever possible, even saying you are looking forward to a nice walk in the cold weather is better than talking about snuggling down in blankets all day. It is a really bad habit to ingrain in your kids, but it's one that I have given in to as a single parent when I need to work and the weather is rubbish.

It's not always easy to be a sporty family, but it is a great thing if you can access that lifestyle.

I personally love the summer hols with DD , but my circumstances actually allow me to enjoy them.

It's totally fair enough that other people do struggle , for various reasons, but I don't think it's ok to say it to the kids , unless it's in a jokey way.

Whatever spin you put on it, making your kids feel like a burden simply because they're there is not right.

I can’t believe kids have only just finished in uk !! 3 months off in Ireland 😂

I love holidays with my three dcs but they love spending time together and have each other. There’s people in difficult situations where holidays could be more stressful

I get where you’re coming from and it is sad but the reality is that the holidays are hard for lots of families. Some people just do better with structure and routines.

Parents shouldn’t be telling their children that they can’t wait for September. That is horrible. They also shouldn’t have to pretend to other adults that it’s all lovely quality family time when really three weeks in it’s bored kids and stressed, skint parents.

I personally wouldn't say that to my children - but the 6 weeks summer holiday are an absolute nightmare.
Not the spending time with my children part, but all the extra admin - where are they going on working days? Who is dropping off/picking up? How am I supposed to get all of the things I also need to do around the house done without it encroaching on the time I can spend with my children? Trying to make arrangements for play dates with both children's friends so that neither of them miss out. it's stressful, and I'd much prefer a shorter break if I'm being totally honest.

I’d have done anything to spend the holidays doing all the things that you do. I always greatly valued my children’s health and fitness but I was so exhausted and ill that I couldn’t do that much with them. Autism and being a single parent didn’t help. I would try so hard to take them out on my own and be on edge the whole time. I’d dread the holidays although it did at least remove school-related problems. However, I’d never have told them.

I guess you’re not judging people like me, but people like me generally have a guilt complex so when you do judge we’re the people feeling rubbish. The people who don’t really care don’t take any notice.

My sisters kids holidays started the middle of June and they went back the 2nd week in September though they had a longer school day until at least 4.30

what is naive about it. I'm nearly 60, I've lived through nearly 60 summer holidays - the highlight of the year every time

I was at boarding school and my Mum used to say 'i can't wait till you kids go back to school ' during the holidays.

This was despite the fact that from before I was a teenager I was cooking the main meals as she used to also say that she hated cooking for us. She barely lifted a finger to care for us.

She always used to be smiling on the last day of our holidays. Thank God we had a stable home at our school with adults that actually looked after us and a sense of family.

My father would work as much as possible to avoid parenting too, though would cook on a Sunday.

We so clearly weren't wanted and that does stay with you and is damaging, they just could not be bothered with us, we were an inconvenience . I'm with you OP. If you can't enjoy your kids company then why bother having them? At least have the good grace to hide the fact you don't love them until they are old enough to build their own lives. Telling a child you can't wait to be rid of them is so so cruel.

not working, when your child is at school anyway, is NOT spending more time with your children, it is just spending less time providing for them

By the time my eldest goes back to university, he will have been back over 3 months. Youngest finished his GCSEs and announced, it's 93 days until I start college.

Looking on the bright side, they are 21 and 16, so boredom and finding things to do, is their problem, not mine or my OHs.

I'd never say that to a child, that's pretty crap. But I would say op don't be quick to judge as you have no clue of other people's circumstances.

I love my son more than anything and love spending time with him, but during his holidays I still have to juggle my full time job with absolutely no family support for childcare or anything. So yeah it's tough, as it's obviously easier for me to get my hours in for work when he's at school. It's not that I don't want to be around my child but I won't deny that the summer holidays can be a struggle.

@Parker231 100 percent !! I work in education so I have lots of time off work my dcs but if I didn’t we would be under huge pressure , absolutely zero family support and yes camps but they are expensive and often finish at 1pm 🤷🏻‍♀️
It’s like the sahm of school kids talking about how great it is to get time once kids start school as if everyone has the same time off. Yup it would be great to have all week off while kids are in school 😂

I am sorry you were treated like this. It is a terrible thing to do to a child. Hopefully your post will make some parents think a bit more before opening their mouths
💐

@LlynTegid - totally agree. M&S were advertising ‘back to school’ stuff the day before they broke up!