It's already started

[Haruka]

Oh my.

Day two of the official start to the holiday. Already, I have heard two sets of parents utter the exact same thing to their poor kids. "Can't wait until you're back at school". One this morning, another dad on Friday at pick-up, the literal beginning of the holidays, saying he'll celebrate the day they go back in September.

Yes, I'm being a massive judgey-pants, but the holidays are 6 weeks long and some people can't even stand to be around their kids for a day, let alone the weeks yet to come?

I don't know, it makes me so sad. And while everyone gets annoyed by their kids at some point, you don't openly tell them you wish they were somewhere else?

Pretty sure IANBU, but it's every holiday I hear this kind of thing and every time it gets me.

Oof, IABU for not reading the full post. I thought they were saying it to another parent. I'd never say smth like that to my kids.

Are you sure it's not said in jest? When I visit my parents my dad loves to say "when are you going home?" when I arrive. I'll tease my daughter (16) and say are you not due back to school yet, but it's all in fun and she knows it. She's great fun to have around.

@Mayhem3 normally countries with long summer hols have the school year split only into 3, so breaks for Christmas,Easter and summer.

I love the school holidays but have to work so I dread the mum guilt of not being with them to “create memories”. We will use annual leave, grandparents and holiday clubs/ sporting activities to cover it but not the same as six weeks of with them so dread feeling other children are having a better time

This. We have been out of school for 2 weeks and that first week was awful - constant bickering, whining and emotional outbursts. We’re now a bit better rested and have a bit more of a routine, and the days are much more pleasant, but there were many points in that first week where I (internally) despaired at the idea of 8weeks like the first.

I generally enjoy the summer break, and am usually in the fortunate position of having lots of time off (freelance job) and enough money to afford a variety of holiday clubs, days out, a week or two abroad(visiting family). Having that flexibility and those resources make it easy to have a great summer. This year my husband lost his job in the spring, and found a new one only recently which has meant no trips abroad booked, I have committed to far more work than usual over summer, and booked far fewer holiday club days than I need. My husband’s new job also requires a fair bit of travel over the next few weeks, so I will be figuring it out on my own. Trying to stay positive for myself as much as the kids, but it is much more stressful, and it will be a relief when school resumes.

My pet hate. And these will be the same people who will moan that school is taking over their lives, or government imposing fines for term time holidays. Cake and eat it...

I totally agree that saying this sort of thing to a child habitually could be damaging. But what if it's just a one off, a throwaway remark made in the heat of the moment on a tough day? It seems a bit extreme to assume that because you've heard a parent say they're looking forward to September one time their kids must be an unwanted burden. Who here can honestly say they've never said something to or in earshot of their kids that was less than kind? It's likely they didn't mean it, but even if they did mean it in that moment, that doesn't mean they always feel that way or talk to their DC that way.

"The week is so hectic and the weekends often spent shopping and doing all of the menial tasks"

Yeah but surely you knew about that before you had kids?

I love the summer holidays, its 10 weeks in my country but it always feels like it goes too fast. But I can understand how parents would feel differently if they have issues with childcare (there is zero summer childcare for over 7s in my town, I expect that would be very stressful for parents of 7 year olds with no local grandparents) and time off work and stuff like that.

Nah, not really. Just hate these judgemental threads and enjoy the frothing 🤣🙃

'Back in the day' we were allowed to do a heck of a lot more things unsupervised. Paddling/swimming, sailing/rowing, roaming off for picnics, spending the day at the beach or park or wandering between the two, kicking a ball about in the rec, playing in the woods, visiting grandparents / cousins to play in their gardens, visiting classmates to play in their gardens or the street, visiting people to ask if they wanted any shopping doing.

There was also the Beach Mission which happened every morning and afternoon. My sisters and I went but my brothers went off fishing. When it was wet the Beach Mission moved indoors to the Baptist Church.

I think it is perfectly ok to think it and say it to other adults. But not to the kids.

I heard pretty much the same while I was waiting for my child to come out of her class- the poor kid looked crestfallen.

Our neighbours you can hear shout at each other through the wall daily. But when the holidays come, they pipe right down. We think it's partly due to the family finally getting some sleep. I always imagine the holidays making it much more noisy in the neighbourhood, but actually it quietens. I'm sure some kids like adults are annoying, and some relationships work, and some don't. Well meaning parents might want to home school and keep their kids away from the Internet and TV, but for an easy life the one eyed nanny, and school make great surrogate parents.

'Back in the day' we were allowed to do a heck of a lot more things unsupervised.

So allow your children.
They don't need constant entertainment from adults.

I absolutely cannot wait until the holidays are over. I probably said it about two hours after the kids had finished school.
I've struggled with pnd and I am a much better parent when I work (I find it a break away from the house)
But the weather has been horrendous, the children don't want to play in the same soggy wet park
We are now on day 7 of a sickness bug, no holiday clubs for the children, can't afford holidays, don't drive
It's miserable tbh.
And all of the above comments about the poor children, are reasons why people like me don't speak out and we suffer in silence.

And all of the above comments about the poor children, are reasons why people like me don't speak out and we suffer in silence.

You should absolutely NOT suffer in silence but you should absolutely talk about it with other adults not your children. That's what the problem is, the words were said to their children.

Meh. Mine will be at holiday club most days as I have to work. We do have a holiday abroad booked and a couple of other random days doing stuff. But I will really enjoy not having to nag about homework etc and the weekend activities (swimming, ballet etc) stop in the hols so we can do different fun stuff. If they (and i) were stuck at home for 6 weeks we'd both get bored with it and get ratty with each other so I do get it. But honestly if people feel like that, use holiday club and go to work.

Two working parents here, admittedly partly through choice as we want a decent sized house and holidays etc.

Summer is a combination of camps (3 weeks), grandparents (1 weeks) and then leave for either of us (2 weeks). 1 week of that is spent abroad altogether.

This year has been a total pain because of the teachers’ strikes. I buy additional leave at work precisely to cover as many of the holidays as I can, but a lot of those days were used to cover strike closures. So now I’ve paid for additional leave and am paying more on top for the camps - lovely 🙄 Camps are approx £250/week per child, so that’s £1500 already for the three weeks we’ve booked and then activities and excursions on the days we’re off -
meals out, cinema, bowling etc.

Personally, I think many people thrive with routine, children included. I find myself wishing for September and just knowing where we all are. The weather at the moment certainly doesn’t help. Leaves flying off the trees here, cold and wet, could almost be October the way we’re going. I understand people saying they want the end of the holidays to come round quickly!

I imagine many who love it have enough money for activities if wet, plenty of space and can afford the holiday clubs if they need it. We usually take ours to parks for most of the holidays yet if the weather stays like this we will have to stay inside. I think it is only human to find it a struggle.

Yes of course which is why I never moan about them or blame my kids for something that isn’t their fault.

I still love the weekends obviously, they’re the best part of the week.
I just wish I could spend more quality time with my DC and not spend so much time doing the menial tasks.

Not sure what your point is tbh?

You cab speak to an adult. The moment you burden your children is when you become wrong.

Granparents, friends,summer camps.....the big problem is the heat issue as you have to stay inside

my oldest is disabled, he needs supervision. He also dislikes leaving the house and every time i need to go out its like a military planning/hostage negotiation level event.

So yeah, i love having them home, but i also love it when they're at school, because i can just leave the house when i want/need without having to put Operation GTFO into practice.

I've said it to my children, in a jokey way
Ans they've also said they can't wait to go back
But tbh if I speak to most adults all I get is "well you chose to have them" and yeah I did.
I just didn't expect the depression and anxiety to way on me so heavily.
I didn't expect my mum to be so hands off (I was sent to my granny's for two weeks during the holidays) (and tbf she does the bare minimum to allow me to work in the first place)
I didn't expect my father in laws eye sight to deteriorate so quickly registering him blind and unable to help
And I didn't expect my mil to have terminal cancer so she's unable to help
The holidays are absolutely relentless and I do struggle

Do you honestly think someone swearing at an adult on an anonymous forum means they mistreat their kids at home? That’s such a reach. I don’t swear as it’s not my style but I certainly don’t think that everyone who swears online is a poor parent! That’s very simplistic thinking.