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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this tight ?!

389 replies

Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 09:12

Morning

I have just come back from a 10 day holiday , full board lovely hotel.

My original travelling companion couldn't make it , hospital appointment , rather than cancel another friend came. Didn't ask the other friend who came to pay anything apart from a small fee for name change on flights. Not did she offer , fine.

We had a 2 bedroom suite. Only.one room had a balcony, the other had a window.

She made it obvious when we got there she wanted balcony room, at the end of the 10 day holiday we had a bar bill of 80 quid for drinks we had with meals at the hotel as they were not included

She went through it line by line to work out who owed what, I'm like wtf, you have had a free holiday and are quibbling over 40 quid each

If I was her I would have paid the lot as a thank you

Aibu to tell her how mean I thought this was

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 09:38

Yes I paid for the hotel.in full.

My original companion lost the money she had paid for flights as they were non refundable and the biggest cost of the holiday.

I thought at the time, it was better to pay a small fee for a name change and take someone else to use the holiday

But I was PO at second friend behaviour on last day 're bar bill

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 22/07/2023 09:39

So she got a free holiday and the balcony room. Why on earth?

Lacucuracha · 22/07/2023 09:39

Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 09:29

Hi, cheap part of the world. Most expensive part of holiday was flights.

I am taking original friend away in 2 months as a treat as she lost out on original holiday , flights were not refundable but hotel was . So I covered full hotel and original friend lost flight cost

Why are you paying for original friend for new holiday?

Won’t she get money back from insurance?

WeAreTheHeroes · 22/07/2023 09:40

Telling her might end the friendship, but sounds as though she could do with a wake up call and it may be no loss if she gets the hump.

Clymene · 22/07/2023 09:43

That would mean the end of the friendship for me. She should have paid the bar bill (and been grateful for whichever room you didn't want). Cheap and mean.

JudgeRudy · 22/07/2023 09:44

I think for the sake of £40 I'd have paid the full tab as a thank you. I'd be more miffed though at her getting first choice of rooms. If you really werent that bothered fair enough, but if you wanted the balcony room why did you let that happen?
If you offer someone something for free (almost) I don't think there should be an expectation that she reciprocated but a small treat would be appreciated.
Assuming it was at the end of the holiday is it possible she was thinking £80? What/How? as it was a surprise. We're the amounts drank vastly different eg £70s worth was yours? Normally I'd just half the bill. I wouldn't necessarily expect someone to pay my half but if I was your friend I'd probably treat you at a later date. She obviously wasn't expecting to go on holiday and may not have budgeted for it.

mondaytosunday · 22/07/2023 09:46

I don't know why you didn't ask her to contribute something towards the hotel in the first place, and at the very least she should have paid your other friend for her flight.
As for the balcony room, when she made that comment I would have said that as you paid for and arranged the holiday that yes of course you would be getting the balcony room and look at her as if she was mad!
So yes, she is tight, and now you know it. Not sure what saying anything about it would help now, but if anything in future comes up you will know what to expect - ie, nothing from her!

thespy · 22/07/2023 09:46

It's a bit odd you hadn't noticed this about her prior to inviting her on holiday, but I guess sometimes people don't show their true colours until you spend a lot of tine with them. Yes she's tight and I assume you won't travel with her again. Lesson learned.

meganorks · 22/07/2023 09:49

Yes your friend is being tight. And yes, in her position I would have paid the lot as a thank you at the very least. But in your position I would have definitely said something at the time when she started trying to itemise everything: 'are you having a laugh, you've had a free holiday! If anything, you should pay the bar bill!'

thespy · 22/07/2023 09:49

And to answer the question I probably wouldn't bring it up unless you want a scene, but I wouldn't be making anything like the same amount of effort in future.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 22/07/2023 09:52

Can't stand a miser. She should have treated you to some lavish meals.

Hankunamatata · 22/07/2023 09:52

Why on earth didn't you just hand her the bill and ask her to pay it?

anonymousnotyourbusiness · 22/07/2023 09:57

Maybe your friend was embarrassed to state that they couldn't afford it? However I would have just stayed if i couldn't afford it and asked if I could pay you back in installments, yes it's only a small amount considering the holiday was paid for but some people just can't afford it.. Bit cheeky for them to go through the bills and calculate who paid what though

Original poster
Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 09:57

Yes, I wouldn't have thought anything of splitting it as we both drank the same, water in day and a drink or 2 with dinner , drinks are cheap in that part of the world.

It was the itemising of each line , to get it exact to the pound that irked me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 09:58

anonymousnotyourbusiness · 22/07/2023 09:57

Maybe your friend was embarrassed to state that they couldn't afford it? However I would have just stayed if i couldn't afford it and asked if I could pay you back in installments, yes it's only a small amount considering the holiday was paid for but some people just can't afford it.. Bit cheeky for them to go through the bills and calculate who paid what though

She spent several hundred pounds at the hotel spa so wasn't skint!

OP posts:
Naunet · 22/07/2023 09:59

anonymousnotyourbusiness · 22/07/2023 09:57

Maybe your friend was embarrassed to state that they couldn't afford it? However I would have just stayed if i couldn't afford it and asked if I could pay you back in installments, yes it's only a small amount considering the holiday was paid for but some people just can't afford it.. Bit cheeky for them to go through the bills and calculate who paid what though

OP has said she was buying herself to spa treatments etc, so clearly she could afford it, she’s just tight and entitled.

anonymousnotyourbusiness · 22/07/2023 10:01

Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 09:58

She spent several hundred pounds at the hotel spa so wasn't skint!

Show quote history

Then she is taking advantage for your kindness I wouldn't bring it up because it will just cause conflict, I just wouldn't bring them again,it sucks being taken advantage of.

anonymousnotyourbusiness · 22/07/2023 10:02

Naunet · 22/07/2023 09:59

OP has said she was buying herself to spa treatments etc, so clearly she could afford it, she’s just tight and entitled.

Show quote history

I know that OP already stated that to me after you jumped at me... Thanks for clarifying it again

TheCatterall · 22/07/2023 10:03

@Whiteparasol dod she take you out at all or treat you as a thank you for taking her?

I hope the bar bill wasn’t far off an even split anyway and I’d have been laughing at the penny pinching.

is she like that when you go out at home?

Sounds like entitled CF behaviour with the balcony etc as well.

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/07/2023 10:04

So will you say anything to CF friend?

JbytheSea · 22/07/2023 10:05

Shocking. I sometimes think these posts cannot be real. As in how are people actually friends with people like this and who behave like this as in RL no one I know ever does. I couldn’t be friends with someone like this. Ever.

CF. Bet she isn’t skint either. Likely has lots of cash 💰

Original poster
Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 10:06

TheCatterall · 22/07/2023 10:03

@Whiteparasol dod she take you out at all or treat you as a thank you for taking her?

I hope the bar bill wasn’t far off an even split anyway and I’d have been laughing at the penny pinching.

is she like that when you go out at home?

Sounds like entitled CF behaviour with the balcony etc as well.

No, we ate in the hotel so she wouldn't have had the opportunity to pay for dinner etc

Hotel was very nice as was food so it was a treat, just drinks were not included.

That was made plain by me at the start and we kept a bar tab and both charged to it during the 10 days

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 10:07

And I hadn't noticed tightness before ! But haven't been away with her before!

OP posts:
Original poster
Whiteparasol · 22/07/2023 10:09

AtrociousCircumstance · 22/07/2023 10:04

So will you say anything to CF friend?

Yes I will....

Just pondering how to phrase it

OP posts:
Magnoliafarm · 22/07/2023 10:10

I had similar when I went to visit an old very close friend who has emigrated to Australia. She only booked 1 week of annual leave so I spent 1 week on my own before meeting her. I want mad keen for a holiday on my own but I wasn't going to spend £600 and 28 hours celling each way for only 1 week.
After i had booked flights she booked in to a work conference the day i landed in her city. I had to sleep on the sofa of her air bnb that she had booked with her colleagues that I had never met. I had to pick up the key from the conference centre. Both were in a suburb about an hour from the city centre. She spent the evening at a gala and night out after with her colleagues that she said she would invite me to but she never sent me their location.
Then for our joint holiday we rented a motorhome, I did all the driving as she didn't have a licence yet. We did a 2000 mile road trip. I had paid for and arranged the hire.
We had similar jobs, i was more senior than her but as she was working in rural oz she was earning more than double what I was with cheaper rent (health care...).
On day 4 she produced a piece of paper with a list of every penny she had spent. Including a 50p cup of tea! She told me I owed her £13.50. We had a massive argument and it rained the whole rest of the holiday. She didn't back down. I just thought as she was hosting and i had paid for flights and was doing all the driving she would pay for living expenses while out there.
I haven't been out to see her since.
In her defence she is a triplet with 3 step siblings so i imagine splitting things equally is deeply ingrained!!

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