Is this tight ?!

[Whiteparasol]

Morning

I have just come back from a 10 day holiday , full board lovely hotel.

My original travelling companion couldn't make it , hospital appointment , rather than cancel another friend came. Didn't ask the other friend who came to pay anything apart from a small fee for name change on flights. Not did she offer , fine.

We had a 2 bedroom suite. Only.one room had a balcony, the other had a window.

She made it obvious when we got there she wanted balcony room, at the end of the 10 day holiday we had a bar bill of 80 quid for drinks we had with meals at the hotel as they were not included

She went through it line by line to work out who owed what, I'm like wtf, you have had a free holiday and are quibbling over 40 quid each

If I was her I would have paid the lot as a thank you

Aibu to tell her how mean I thought this was

@draxdomax The OP expected nothing in return though it would have been nice. However I don't think the OP expected to pay for airport meals she didn't eat or order either and therein lies the issue imho.
You clearly didn't read all of it! Did you? lol

No, of course I didn't read everything. Did you? LOL...

I did go through the first few pages and didn't notice anything about airport meals.

Click 'see all' on any of the OP's posts on any thread, & you just get all the OP's posts. Very useful.

@draxdomax - you can also customise MN - click on the V at the top, by where it says Talk, and select Customise from the drop down menu, and you can choose a coloured background for your posts, and also the OP posts on any thread - makes it easier to scroll through and find updates.

Thanks everybody for replies.

I think to be clear to those who understandably cba to read whole thread, No I didn't expect a gift for taking her on a free holiday. I paid for the hotel, and she used a flight that was non refundable and expensive and paid a small name change fee.

What I took exception to, was that when our joint bar bill arrived she went through it line by line to ensure I paid an extra 5 pounds. This is after I went for a drink with her outside the hotel and when I suggested it she said merrily o are you treating me then.

She then left me with the bill to pay at the airport when we had a meal there and has so far been a bit reluctant to pay her share which she missed by going to the ladies when the bill arrived.

Finances are equal, my point on spa and shopping she went on is that I couldn't afford to spend that much myself, so making me pick up all bills outside what I told her were included is tight.

End of the day, her loss, as I have seen what a CF she is in my eyes.

Yes, like many posters I would have If I were her, paid an 80 quid bar bill after an expensive free holiday, not angled for my friend to pay extra for drinks outside hotel and certainly not left her to pay airport meal.

As I say, her loss, and I will never sub her again. I am fading her out and leaving it.

For those that say, o let whiteparasol pay everything , get some friends and get in the real world. People won't stand for being taking advantage of very long. x

Good for you OP, she doesn't deserve a friend like you.

Yeh, it takes the same amount of time to reply and say “I’m busy” as it does to bank transfer the money

Ah well, OP, you've emerged sadder but wiser about this friend. I think it was a good idea to ask her for her share of the airport meal bill simply because it shows you exactly what she is. She had her opportunity to make amends a tiny bit & keep you onside, & she didn't do it.

I seem to remember hearing once, 'If you lend a friend £10 & they disappear without paying you back, it was a cheap way to get rid of a bad friend'.😂

'If you lend a friend £10 & they disappear without paying you back, it was a cheap way to get rid of a bad friend'.
Very very true. Short and to the point.
I think the thing is when this happens when we're young we wise up to it. When we manage to go through our teens without running into these CFs we're easy prey when we're older. We've all been there! We've all been there! Heck it still happens to me but sometimes it's not about money so it takes a while to see them coming! They look so normal...

YBU, if you didn't discuss money before you asked her along on the free holiday then you can't discuss it after the fact. Also you have a mouth, you could have spoken to her during the 10 days at any point and explained that you wanted her to contribute more. Also you can say NO. If you gave her the balcony room, that's on you. Sounds like you need to work on boundaries and speaking up.

This isn’t about fairly splitting the holiday costs. It’s about a supposed friend being all take, take, take. Not just in accepting what is offered, but in asking for more and in getting OP to pay even when she hasn’t offered, and then providing nothing in return.

Token gestures of appreciation (like not quibbling over a few quid or paying for a few drinks) are standard because they show some reciprocity. As it is “friend” has made it an entirely one sided relationship.

If you have friendships like this where friends keep on taking what you offer and never reciprocating - get out of them. They aren’t good friends.

Had she paid you yet OP?

devils advocate? lol joker

Surely it’s just common decency that if someone pays for your holiday you pay the very cheap bill at the end of the week?! It’s certainly just decency to put money on the table before going to the loo at the airport, or get back from loo and say ‘oh you’ve already paid here’s my half ‘
That conversation wouldn’t even need to happen if I was getting a free holiday… it’s just human decency to say ‘do you want any money for the room’…. And then if she declined I’d 100% pay the £80 drinks bill and for the airport meal as a thank you.
Genuine people don’t need ‘boundaries’ setting out. She’s an adult after all and CF one at that

@DrySherry

I know right
op why don’t you hand over your house to your friend as well? Least you can do really

The 'friend' should have bought OP's airport meal.

@NolongerMom - @Whiteparasol did say, in a later post, that she didn’t give up the balcony room.

I know that, if I was invited on an almost free holiday like this, I would not be expecting the best room, or quibbling over the pennies of a bar bill - I would be insisting on paying it in full, and I would be looking to treat my generous friend, to show my gratitude for such a lovely holiday. Surely that is what any decent person would do? I certainly wouldn’t be taking my sweet time to pay my half of the airport meal bill, having quibbled over the bar bill.

I can also understand why the OP might have felt uncomfortable raising this at the time - but props to her for having raised it now, I think!

Thanks!

Yes I did get paid for the airport meal yesterday after I chased up again by text and said not paying it was making me feel like I was being taken advantage of

She said she was sorry I was feeling like that. Then paid shortly after

Haven't heard anything else and don't expect to.!

Very p/a, that 'I'm sorry you feel that way'

What a cow. You're well rid of this non-friend.

Well done @Whiteparasol 👏🏻💐

Well done OP.

She really is scum.

Don't waste any further time with ,or on her.

Life is simply too short.

And I bet she paid her exact share and not a penny more.

Any idea that maybe she’d thought about her grabby behaviour and had any self awareness - well that didn’t happen.

She’s a user and a ponce. Don’t give her time of day again OP, she’s not worth wasting your time.

Apart from being a classic fauxpology maybe, "I'm sorry you feel like that," (like you were being taken advantage of) is the truth: if you feel that way, she'll find it harder to get anything from you in future, & she's sorry about that.

not I’m sorry but sorry you feel like that so I know my free ride is over.

God, my friends are so lovely I have to make sure they aren’t too generous!

You don’t need a ‘friend’ like this. Drop her like a sack of spuds.