Page 13 | Is this tight ?!

Whiteparasol · 2023-07-22T08:12:36+00:00

Morning I have just come back from a 10 day holiday , full board lovely hotel. My original travelling companion couldn't make it , hospital appointment , rather than cancel another friend came. Didn't ask the other friend who came to pay anything apart from a small fee for name change on flights. Not did she offer , fine. We had a 2 bedroom suite. Only.one room had a balcony, the other had a window. She made it obvious when we got there she wanted balcony room, at the end of the 10 day holiday we had a bar bill of 80 quid for drinks we had with meals at the hotel as they were not included She went through it line by line to work out who owed what, I'm like wtf, you have had a free holiday and are quibbling over 40 quid each If I was her I would have paid the lot as a thank you Aibu to tell her how mean I thought this was

Brightandshining · 24/07/2023 18:32

The balcony room thing is outrageous.. you should get the pick of rooms if its actually you who paid.
The drinks thing isn't tight if she's actually broke because maybe she only had the money to pay for the things she ordered herself.. which is understandable..
But if you don't think she's broke that is very odd yes. If I'd had the money I've paid for all the drinks as an acknowledgement that I got a free holiday on you.
However I have been in this situation as I went on a package holiday with my friend who'd just been through a bad breakup and couldn't get a refund on a holiday they'd booked together and didn't want to go alone with their child.. so I came along with my child who was the same age as hers. I made it clear from the outset I was totally broke tho and if I came I wouldn't be able to pay for any extras at all. We had a lovely holiday. I was very grateful but I wouldn't have been able to pay a bar bill as I wasn't working at that time and was penniless. But as I said she knew that when she invited me.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/07/2023 18:32

Have you had the money off this fucker ?!?

momtoboys · 24/07/2023 18:41

DrySherry · 23/07/2023 20:30

Playing devils advocate - she spent 10 days of her time accompanying you so that you didn't have to go on holiday as "Billy no Mates". You really should have covered the drinks bill, and given her the better room.

Oh, come on....you are the one being unreasonable! Especially about the room with the balcony! She would have been dragging my cold, dead body out of that room before she could have it!

ivycastle · 24/07/2023 18:42

I have a friend who would do this. It's to do with her upbringing and her ingrained attitude towards money. It's hard to explain but she wouldn't see it as being cheeky or tight, just fair that each person pays for what they had. I don't know that it would occur to her to do anything else.

Just putting another perspective on it I guess. She might have no idea you think she's being 'tight' and be mortified if she knew. To her, she's probably just being fair.

I know why you think differently - but people see things differently.

I would gently chat to her about how/ why it bothered you and not write her off as a friend because of this.

newnamethanks · 24/07/2023 18:50

Get a better friend. She's a greedy user. Lose her.

MavisMcMinty · 24/07/2023 18:52

It’s reminding me of the thread where a poster was rewarded for good work by their employer with a luxury weekend away for two, so she took a friend on an all-expenses paid trip, only to be asked for a ridiculous amount of money for the petrol the friend used to drive them both there!

So many replies were “well you got it for free yourself, why should she have to pay for all the petrol?” BECAUSE SHE GAVE YOU A FREE TRIP!

starfishmummy · 24/07/2023 19:09

If it had been me, who was govdnma free holiday the other person wouldn't have had to buy a drink the whole holiday and as meals at the hotel were included I'd probably be treating her to other stuff too.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/07/2023 19:28

Iwishmymumwouldbemymum · 24/07/2023 11:38

I think you need to have your say OP.

"Hi, you didn't transfer the money. I can't tell you how irritated and hurt I feel that I've had to a) ask you in the first place and then b) chase you up on this. Myself and hospital friend funded your holiday. Your response to itemise a bar bill, dodge an airport meal bill and not offer either of us anything as a thank you while spending heavily on spa treatments for yourself has shocked me. I feel very very used and don't see our friendship continuing now. "

I also think this is a great message to send her.

Iwishmymumwouldbemymum · 24/07/2023 19:39

To the (few) posters who are saying that it's not CF behaviour to itemise the bill, that it is just being fair and upfront - how does that tally with the fact she dodged paying for her airport meal and told OP that she'd pay her when she had time (ie. I will delay at my leisure).

I know I am probably too invested in this thread but I've been on the receiving end of this sort of treatment and it's horrible.

Blossomtoes · 24/07/2023 19:39

She should have paid the entire bar bill and paid for you to have a couple of treatments at the very least. Tight doesn’t even begin to cover it.

Oceanus · 24/07/2023 19:52

OP I'm sorry for calling you a mug before. I don't think you're really a mug but you are too nice. I hope you've seen the light. Having said that, don't change who you are too much. The world has too many takers and not enough givers, it needs nice people like you to bring balance to the greddy ones. Don't let people make you feel bad for being nice. She was in the wrong, not you.

SamW98 · 24/07/2023 19:57

Iwishmymumwouldbemymum · 24/07/2023 19:39

To the (few) posters who are saying that it's not CF behaviour to itemise the bill, that it is just being fair and upfront - how does that tally with the fact she dodged paying for her airport meal and told OP that she'd pay her when she had time (ie. I will delay at my leisure).

I know I am probably too invested in this thread but I've been on the receiving end of this sort of treatment and it's horrible.

Yep. And the ones criticising the OP for not being clear that the CF might have to bring her purse out - it shouldn’t need saying.

Any decent friend would be appreciative of the almost free holiday and ensure they paid for a few treats for the OP while they were there.

As I said earlier, for anyone with any manners, the very least would be paying the bar bill, paying for a couple of spa treatments for OP and buying her a thank you gift when arriving back home. None of that should need spelling out to a grown adult

CurzonDax · 24/07/2023 20:03

starfishmummy · 24/07/2023 19:09

If it had been me, who was govdnma free holiday the other person wouldn't have had to buy a drink the whole holiday and as meals at the hotel were included I'd probably be treating her to other stuff too.

This.
OP - if you want to take me on holiday with you next time, I promise to pay the bar tab, and will even treat you to a massage (or another treatment if your choosing) in the hotel bar, as a thank you, as well.

I would certainly be bringing home a little pamper gift for the other friend who had paid for my expensive flight (minus the name change fee), so she could have a little treat/pamper as she recovers from her hospital treatment.

HaddawayAndShite · 24/07/2023 20:15

SamW98 · 24/07/2023 19:57

Yep. And the ones criticising the OP for not being clear that the CF might have to bring her purse out - it shouldn’t need saying.

Any decent friend would be appreciative of the almost free holiday and ensure they paid for a few treats for the OP while they were there.

As I said earlier, for anyone with any manners, the very least would be paying the bar bill, paying for a couple of spa treatments for OP and buying her a thank you gift when arriving back home. None of that should need spelling out to a grown adult

Show quote history

100% this.

I think the ones who have zero problem with CF friend are probably the CFs in their friendship groups and justifying their own selfish behaviour.

No decent person gets a free holiday then pouts because they don’t get the best room. I’d be fucking embarrassed not to at least buy OP 1 drink on a free holiday never kind make her pay for the meal on the way home. Absolute cunt behaviour.

Applescruffle · 24/07/2023 20:24

MavisMcMinty · 24/07/2023 18:52

It’s reminding me of the thread where a poster was rewarded for good work by their employer with a luxury weekend away for two, so she took a friend on an all-expenses paid trip, only to be asked for a ridiculous amount of money for the petrol the friend used to drive them both there!

So many replies were “well you got it for free yourself, why should she have to pay for all the petrol?” BECAUSE SHE GAVE YOU A FREE TRIP!

That's not a free trip, the OP worked for that

MavisMcMinty · 24/07/2023 20:26

Heh, yes, I know that, but many replies took the CF’s side.

Imisssleep2 · 24/07/2023 20:31

Firstly if I see as the friend I would have let you choose the room as I was essentially getting a free holiday and secondly yes I like you would have paid the whole bar bill, a grand total of like £120 for a holiday is a bargain.

Should you say anything? Whatever you say will prob offend your friend and cause bad feeling so it depends how close you are and if you'll be bothered if they give you the cold shoulder for a few months, I would take it as a lesson and not offer anything like this again should the opportunity arise, take someone less tight. If she is stuck for money she shouldn't have accepted the invite as there will always be unforeseen costs in cabs, drinks, days out etc.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 24/07/2023 20:31

You paid the Wet Lettuce Tax for sitting there and saying nothing. Serves you right.

Oceanus · 24/07/2023 20:36

Oceanus · 24/07/2023 19:52

OP I'm sorry for calling you a mug before. I don't think you're really a mug but you are too nice. I hope you've seen the light. Having said that, don't change who you are too much. The world has too many takers and not enough givers, it needs nice people like you to bring balance to the greddy ones. Don't let people make you feel bad for being nice. She was in the wrong, not you.

not sure how gready became greddy!

Original poster

Whiteparasol · 24/07/2023 20:43

Hi, no she hasnt transferred money for her meal at airport yet.

Will remind her in the morning, in case she has forgotten!

OP posts:

LoopyLoup · 24/07/2023 20:44

Please can you let us know when she has transferred the airport lunch payment… keep checking back to check… if she hasn’t. Why not send her a link to this thread ☺️🤪

LoopyLoup · 24/07/2023 20:46

Whiteparasol · 24/07/2023 20:43

Hi, no she hasnt transferred money for her meal at airport yet.

Will remind her in the morning, in case she has forgotten!

We were typing at same time. Yep if you don’t get it message daily… maybe with the link to Mumsnet post 😆

Original poster

Whiteparasol · 24/07/2023 20:55

LoopyLoup · 24/07/2023 20:44

Please can you let us know when she has transferred the airport lunch payment… keep checking back to check… if she hasn’t. Why not send her a link to this thread ☺️🤪

Much as I'm angry with her right now, sending her link to this thread would be a step too far !

I'm just going to distance myself and if I see her again , it will be separate bills all the way , and no matter how small the amount I won't be subbing her !

OP posts:

Soapyspuds · 24/07/2023 21:35

I am an orthadox tight arse but your friend is taking the piss!

Bunny44 · 24/07/2023 21:38

I've had a few incidents like this over the years: taking people on holiday or letting friends stay at mine, only for them to be extra tight about things in return. One friend recently stayed at mine for free for 3 weeks, saving her £100s in rent - totally fine with that as I love to help friends out. The day she left she asked me if I wanted to go out for breakfast (assumed she was offering the way she asked) but no 😅. Wasn't the worst incident and I wasn't angry, but just surprised. Friends who are like this, mutual friends talk about it and it puts off people from helping them. If someone goes out of their way to help me, I try and do everything I can to show I appreciate it, because I do so can be surprising when others seem so oblivious!