How would you feel if your boyfriend proposed to you during your graduation ceremony?

[KimberleyClark]

https://metro.co.uk/2023/07/19/this-is-awful-man-divides-opinion-with-graduation-ceremony-proposal-19157662/

AIBU to think this type of proposal is always more about the proposer than the proposee?

It reminds of that diver at the Olympics who proposed to his girlfriend, a fellow diver, just after getting her Silver medal.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-37083739

Total dickhead and monopolising her moment

At 21 I’d have gone along with it and probably been flattered.

Now, I’d be extremely pissed off!

At best thoughtless and at worst totally selfish

And the audience standing and cheering just encourages more men to do this.

At best tone deaf and worst just pathetic and cringey.

How deeply mortifying!

I'm sure a lot of the other graduands were furious - I would have been!!

Yes this. Any man who knew me well wouldn’t do this unless he actively wanted me to leave him!

agree with others that it’s lazy and attention seeking using the backdrop of the graduation to stage an engagement instead of sorting out his own.

it also feels anti-feminist, as a woman so many things can be over shadowed by having kids /being partnered that’s it’s nice to come to a space where they are just celebrating your academic achievements.

and this kind of forces everyone into an engagement celebration when they came to celebrate their/ their loved ones graduation!

I think it's naff.

OK, I'm not wild about highly public proposals in the first place, but I think they're utterly wrong at an event such as this.

Totally inappropriate.

During the ceremony - cross and embarrassed.

At the reception bit afterwards I would have probably found it romantic though as DH was my university boyfriend and all our friends would have been there.

The way he waved to the crowd really made my skin crawl. She should consider getting far away from him and it wouldn't surprise me if she has problems trying to do this.

Much as I admire the independent feminist spirit shown on this thread, how many of you would really have the cojones to turn him down in that moment, with every eye on you?

I wouldn't like it. I'd dislike it immensely but anyone I was close enough to be considering marriage would know this.
The point is how did the recipient take it, not what anyone on MN would want.

I'd relish it.

I saw one proposal in America where the man proposed at a basket ball game, on the court in front of thousands of spectators. The woman turned around on the spot and legged it.

Awful and it’s all “me me me”

DD2 graduated yesterday and I can tell if this happened to her she would ask him why he did this right now? Then make him feel about 2 inches tall.

So coercive. Can she not enjoy her own achievement

I would hate it, I would be embarrassed, and flustered and overwhelmed, ( not in a good way) and I would say no, even if I said yes on the spot, I would say no, in the first private moment we got

I would have absolutely hated it. Yet the fact that the vast majority of the audience obviously thought it was amazing and were standing and cheering suggests a lot of women would love it. If anything the reactions were as bad as the original proposal, as it made it almost impossible for her to reject him, whereas if they'd all just sat awkwardly she could have made her own decision.

So I suppose it depends how well you know the person you're proposing to...if he knows her well enough to know she'd love it then the 'overshadowing her achievements' argument doesn't apply. Even then I still think it's a bit unfair on all the other people graduating though.

He wants to redefine her as his fiancee, not as herself, a graduate.

It's hijacking something that needs to be celebrated and remembered on its own merit.

In the event of the relationship failing, the memory of the graduation is tainted by the proposal.

It's hijacking something that needs to be celebrated and remembered on its own merit.

In the event of the relationship failing, the memory of the graduation is tainted by the proposal.

Haha

I wonder if they were both foreign students and had already talked about marrying after graduation. Perhaps their families were there for a few days only and he had taken this opportunity to speak with her father and then propose whilst everyone was together? This might be very important for some people and the opportunity might not arise again for a very long time.

@x2boys You know Ross and Rachel.weren't real.it was a comedy .right ?

No! Really? It wasn't real? Omg! Gosh that's ALL my 90s dreams just shattered now!!

What a stupid comment. At least the first poster knew where to put the full stop.