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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you feel if your boyfriend proposed to you during your graduation ceremony?

133 replies

KimberleyClark · 21/07/2023 15:50

https://metro.co.uk/2023/07/19/this-is-awful-man-divides-opinion-with-graduation-ceremony-proposal-19157662/

AIBU to think this type of proposal is always more about the proposer than the proposee?

Man accused of 'selfish' behaviour after proposing to girlfriend at graduation

'Let her have her moment.'

https://metro.co.uk/2023/07/19/this-is-awful-man-divides-opinion-with-graduation-ceremony-proposal-19157662/

OP posts:
PurpleChrayne · 21/07/2023 15:52

I would be fucking furious and would say no.

SamW98 · 21/07/2023 15:52

Those proposals in the middle of a moment make me cringe. It all comes across as ‘look at meeeeeeeeeeee’ for the proposer.

Can’t think of anything I would want less at a graduation

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/07/2023 15:53

Stealing her moment AND putting the pressure of thousands of spectators upon her to say yes.

Arsehole.

AnnaNims · 21/07/2023 15:53

I’d be livid!

If she said yes, I hope she’s changed her mind since.

VimFuego101 · 21/07/2023 15:54

I think a graduation deserves to be celebrated as a stand-alone event - it's a big achievement. Also smacks of laziness that the proposer used the graduation location to stage a nice background for the proposal rather than actually planning their own.

Maddy70 · 21/07/2023 15:54

I would be mad

Babyroobs · 21/07/2023 15:55

One of my friends partner did this. Screamed will you marry me from the balcony as she walked up to get her degree. It was honestly so cringey - she posted on facebook. Their marriage didn't last long.

massivesalads · 21/07/2023 15:55

That's taking HER moment and making it about the both of them.

Selfish and unnecessary.

I bet she felt really overwhelmed with emotion already let alone adding a proposal to the mix!

TrueScrumptious · 21/07/2023 15:56

Awful. I’d hate that. It’s such a manipulative and controlling thing to do.

yesigotyourletter · 21/07/2023 15:56

Feel for the person behind her that had to follow that.

SamW98 · 21/07/2023 15:57

Manipulative attention seeking and controlling - I would say no

DiscoDeborah · 21/07/2023 15:57

Didn't go well for Logan Huntzberger did it. IYKYK.

I'd be furious and would feel like he was trying to overshadow my achievement and maybe he felt threatened.

MadamWhiteleigh · 21/07/2023 15:58

Seems like he was graduating too which makes it slightly better. Thought she looked uncomfortable though.

WallaceinAnderland · 21/07/2023 15:58

If she's happy with it, I would be happy for both of them.

katmarie · 21/07/2023 15:59

Nope. I can't articulate how much this would annoy me. That's her moment, and he's inserting himself into it. If he wanted to propose on her graduation, then a quiet moment, later in the day, just the two of them, would have probably been a lovely way to round off what was no doubt a wonderful day for her. But on stage in front of all those people, screams to me, 'never mind your huge achievement here, created by your own hard work, lets put the spotlight on meeeeee and this super important question I couldn't possibly wait to ask you.' It's like he doesn't want her to have her moment about her. Very unpleasant.

Original poster
KimberleyClark · 21/07/2023 15:59

I would think he was not very sure of her. Doing it in public makes it harder to say no.

OP posts:
Peony654 · 21/07/2023 16:00

I'd hate it I'm so pleased we got engaged privately. It feels like it's really detracting from her success in graduating.

LMNT · 21/07/2023 16:01

I would be livid. This is her moment, her achievement.

Its a massive red flag IMO.

StrawberryWater · 21/07/2023 16:02

I’d be fuming and the answer would be a hard ‘no’.

It’s rude, attention seeking, manipulative and awkward for everyone there who just wants to get their diploma and GTF out of there.

Lovingitallnow · 21/07/2023 16:03

It would completely have ruined my day. But also in my case it would be irrefutable proof he didn't know me at all and would spell the end of the relationship.

catsnhats11 · 21/07/2023 16:03

The wave at the crowd is so cringe and shows it's all about him. He's like: who cares she just got her degree, she's getting to marry meee!!!

SchoolShenanigans · 21/07/2023 16:04

I'm guessing he thought it would be a moment to remember in front of all of the spectators.

It's a bit lame, but I can't get pissed about it. I think lots of you are overreacting to be honest. I highly doubt he was intending to steal her thunder.

Clymene · 21/07/2023 16:06

If you watch the video, she's really not happy about it. Her body language is screaming for him to get away.

What a total arsehole. I hope she threw the ring back in his face the moment she left the room. How dare he take her moment from her?

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 galore

25sheets · 21/07/2023 16:06

Public proposals are so absolutely naff anyway but this one is the absolute worst I've seen. Her body language was very telling. His was also (narcisstic prick). I hope she has shaken him off. He's a control freak.

ManateeFair · 21/07/2023 16:06

Public proposals of any kind are hideous.

Even if she's as big an attention seeker as he is, and this was exactly the kind of proposal she wanted, it's still twattish behaviour because other people are bloody graduating as well and their ceremony was hijacked for this bullshit.