To be annoyed at DH for wanting finances car?

[hippygirllucky]

DH has a car he bought 2 years ago, 2014 model. Runs fine, the air con has needed regassing but otherwise good.

Today he's announced that he's going to trade his car in for a much bigger car on finance. We have 1 DD with no plans for another at the moment and the only place he really drives regularly is 5 minutes to work and back. The total cost for new car is £41000 (seems an eye watering amount to me!)... it's not even a brand new car, it's an ex showroom car. He's already decided. We have about £5k in savings. He intends on trading in his old car against it and making almost £400 a month payments, with a £14000 lump sum payment at the end of 4 years.

AIBU for hitting the roof when he told me this? He seems to think £400 a month is nothing (it's half our mortgage payment!) and hasn't even seemed to start thinking about where the £14000 at the end is going to come from (he just said "I'll save up!"). We can technically afford it, if we make compromises... it's just such a pointless expense when he has a perfectly good car. He says he will pay for it entirely out of his salary but my argument is that this WILL affect me and DD. Do you think I'm being too controlling? Would you be upset or would you say "your decision"? He seems to think I'm being overly controlling.

This is how some people chose to spend their money but it needs to be a joint decision. And the finances need to work. I have always drove nice cars and paid lease payments. Not a mugs game as long as you appreciate it is not an investment and there is a finance cost to it … some people like to spend their money on nice things. It’s my only thing ‘for me’ with the rest of my money towards our home and family so I really don’t have a problem with leases and PCP deals. Most new cars off the manufacturing lines are financed this way as a lot of people cannot afford to buy out right. It really depends on your situation if this is acceptable or not. It is not acceptable to make this decision without you agreeing to it.

If they only have £5k in savings then adding some into that should be a "household bill". Is he going to do that when he's saving separately for the lump sum and paying the finance?

I would be furious. What a selfish man.

Not comparable, really, houses don't generally depreciate rapidly from the minute you get them.

Imagine putting that £400 into overspending on your mortgage, or investing, or using it for a fabulous holiday. Instead your dim husband wants to throw that money away on a fancy 4x4 when he lives in a city and lives a 5 minute drive from his place of work. Unless he needs this type of vehicle for his work or is planning on taking you both for a six month overland safari/round the world car camping trip he is a fool. And we all know that a fool and his money are soon parted - a fact that the car salesman is perfectly well aware of.

An additional £400 a month off your mortgage will save you tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) off the lifetime of your mortgage.

How much do you owe on your mortgage?

When you say you have £5k in savings- is that in a bank account? Do you have investments as well, or is that it? It's not much of a safety net these days. How secure are your jobs?

Do you have £400 a month to waste on something frivolous for yourself? Would DH be fine with you spending the same on handbags for instance? Because that's exactly what he is doing.

That's before I even contemplate the lump sum payment that he thinks will appear from thin air without impacting his family at all.

So selfish and stupid of him.

😆

I was wondering that, too, but didn't like to ask!

🤣🤣🤣

Actually, OP, telling him people will think he's got a small dick if he spends a fortune on a flash 4x4 might make him think twice about it.

And unless you live on an rough track halfway up a mountain or the roads near you flood regularly, having a 4x4 is just silly.

That 5k in savings would that be able to cover at least 3 months (pref more) of your families committed expenses (mortgage/bills/food)? If not then that has to be your number one priority.
Honestly it would probably be divorce territory if DH proposed something so ludicrous and self indulgent.

This is mad. That’s an incredible amount of money.
each to their own but my only personal experience is my friends who have done these types of finances, they all say they will save up for the final payment, but not a single one has. They act like they have ages then it creeps up on them and then they have to refinance the end!

If he's only driving five mins to work, that car will breakdown very quickly. I know this from experience, ecause I knew nothing about modern cars, my ignorance cost me 7.5k!

His engine oil will be contaminated by condensation, which will cause serious issues with the turbo and the EGR system.

The DPF or GPF won't regen on short trips and WILL fail remarkably quickly. The battery will also be toast.

Six months of five minute commutes will see him being the proud owner of a 41k pile of scrap metal.

Mid life crisis?

That's fucking ridiculous.

5 mins drive? the car isn't getting warm, doing more damage to it by doing such a small drive, why not walk that distance?

£41 k on a car when you still have a mortgage and will have to finance it is ridiculous. Tell him to save up the cash for the car and then you’ll discuss it.

New car aside - driving five minutes every day is a bit pathetic.

Is there a reason he can't walk or ride a bike?

Will the extra £400pm affect you if you have to remortgage in the next 3 or 4 years? Something else to potentially consider.

Maybe you could suggest an electric bike. Lots of snazzy expensive ones available ( but nowhere near £41k) so would give him new toy feeling without ruining finances and might get him a bit fitter.

I was also thinking this is what an ebike is for.

Even if he got a really nice one like this, it would be significantly cheaper than a £40k car. He could even get it on a bike to work scheme.

Madness, this car is costing a lot more than 41k if you think about his much this money would work for you if you invested the money instead or used the same amount to overpay the mortgage, the real cost is probably 70 or 80k.

Also is the total cost 41k adding the monthly payments and ballon payment or is that the cost if you were to pay in cash upfront now?

I bet the dealer is rubbing his hands with glee at that massive commission he’s about to earn

Double standards/controlling behaviour my arse. Unless OP and her DH are well off enough that the 400 a month can be covered entirely from his personal discretionary spending, what he's doing is laying unilateral claim to family funds. Which therefore won't be available to be used for holidays, spending on the kids, and other joint purposes. Damn right OP ought to have a veto in how a huge chunk of family funds is spent - it doesn't sound like she's indulging in anything nearly as extravagant for her own personal benefit.

Even if you don't have joint finances, it will affect your family. You could overpay mortgage which would make you much better off in the end, because properties aren't getting cheaper, you could save etc. Do you spend £400 and save £14k on yourself to splurge it on something you fancy? I bet you don't, then I don't understand why he think it's OK for him to do it, only because it's from his salary. You don't even have decent amount of savings and he needs 3x this much on balloon payment in 4 years. Madness.

Do you wear his bollocks as earrings as well? If a man wrote this about a woman he would be accused of being controlling … because it is!!!

@user1471267414

No need my dear, we are both on the same page when it comes to finance and purchases. No bubble payment savings discussions needed, no discussion about £400 outlay with only one person agreeing to it.

Calm down dear.