Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DH for wanting finances car?

185 replies

hippygirllucky · 21/07/2023 01:58

DH has a car he bought 2 years ago, 2014 model. Runs fine, the air con has needed regassing but otherwise good.

Today he's announced that he's going to trade his car in for a much bigger car on finance. We have 1 DD with no plans for another at the moment and the only place he really drives regularly is 5 minutes to work and back. The total cost for new car is £41000 (seems an eye watering amount to me!)... it's not even a brand new car, it's an ex showroom car. He's already decided. We have about £5k in savings. He intends on trading in his old car against it and making almost £400 a month payments, with a £14000 lump sum payment at the end of 4 years.

AIBU for hitting the roof when he told me this? He seems to think £400 a month is nothing (it's half our mortgage payment!) and hasn't even seemed to start thinking about where the £14000 at the end is going to come from (he just said "I'll save up!"). We can technically afford it, if we make compromises... it's just such a pointless expense when he has a perfectly good car. He says he will pay for it entirely out of his salary but my argument is that this WILL affect me and DD. Do you think I'm being too controlling? Would you be upset or would you say "your decision"? He seems to think I'm being overly controlling.

OP posts:
OngoingConfidence · 21/07/2023 08:35

If he wants to make the £14k lump sum at the end that means he'll have to save just under £300 a month on top of the £400 montly payments. Almost £700 per month on a car seems excessive. Do you have a disposable £700 a month?

rookiemere · 21/07/2023 08:35

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/07/2023 08:28

£41k cars come with £41k sized service and repair bills. Tyres alone will cost a tonne.

My last company car was not far off that price. Last service if I had to pay for it was £1,200, 4 tyres £1000. Utter madness if you own something like that and don't have the cash to hand to pay costs like that and not worry about it.

Shudder to think of the maintenance costs on the one I have now, as it's a hybrid.

This is a really good point. DH bought a Porsche just as petrol prices went through the roof, the thing that made him sell it was the realisation that services were over a grand, likewise tires.

Thankfully he managed to make money when he sold it - which I'm never going to hear the end of - and we now have a hybrid BMW which I am a lot happier with. I refused to drive the Porsche as it was so expensive and he didn't like that.

Maray1967 · 21/07/2023 08:37

SnarfleThree · 21/07/2023 07:47

Personal cars always in cash in my opinion.

Agreed. He needs to listen to Dave Ramsay.

He’s wasting a significant amount of money on a depreciating asset. What an idiot.

BarbaraofSeville · 21/07/2023 08:43

Sundayrain · 21/07/2023 08:27

Honestly I'm on the other side of this argument. If you can afford the monthly payments then I cannot understand why anyone would put a chunk of money into buying a car outright when it depreciates so much. PCP allows you to have a new car every couple of years and given that you don't need an MOT until the car's three years old, and you'll have a warranty and often a couple of services and breakdown cover included too, you don't end up spending anything on it besides the finance payment. I'd never pay the balloon payment at the end though, just trade it in and get another new car! But it should of course be a joint decision!

Have you missed the part about him already having a perfectly decent, paid for, car that he only uses for a very short journey for work. If it broke down, he could walk, or get a taxi for not very much.

A £400 monthly car bill is completely unnecessary in the circumstances described and it's debatable whether they can afford it as the OP says they'll have to go without other things to pay for it and their savings aren't huge - they'd be wiped out by the car payments in a few months if he couldn't work, before they think about paying for other things, like mortgage, bills, food etc.

SunRainStorm · 21/07/2023 08:43

Selfish childish twat behaviour from your DH.

I'd be furious if my DH committed that amount of money and presented it to me as a fait accompli.

You're meant to be a team.

Buying a fancy car to drive five minutes is just ridiculous.

Retrain12345 · 21/07/2023 08:47

I once got caught in the PCP trap. We had new cars every 2 of years!

What a monumental waste of money because I was a vain person. They all ended up filthy and scratched anyway. I used to say I was saving money on repairs to justify it.

I bought an old car. It’s cost me £1000 to keep on the road in 2 years but does exactly the same job as the £400 a month one. Plus I don’t give a stuff when parking it.

Glittertwins · 21/07/2023 08:51

Does the finance plan mean he has to pay the bubble payment at the end. On all of ours, it is an option. If we don't want the car, we hand it back. If we do want the car, it can be refinanced or the one off payment is made. We've always traded back in though.

Livinghappy · 21/07/2023 08:56

I can see why he might want to replace current car and get something nicer BUT 41k car is excessive, especially as you haven't had a holiday in years so suggests money isn't exactly easy.

loislovesstewie · 21/07/2023 08:57

Actually for me this would be a deal breaker, he's trying to show off/boost his ego/impress someone. Either that or a mate has done something similar and he is in competition. I'm of the 'it's a car, it gets me from a-b' faction. At the end of the day , it's a lump of metal with a logo that impresses some people.
And if it's leased he has to keep it in pristine condition, so no baby sick on the seats!

VestaTilley · 21/07/2023 08:58

YANBU. The whole cars on finance thing is a con and atrocious for the environment. The money some people spend on it is insane (and we are high earners).

We bought a used Astra for £5k in cash and will drive it until it packs up. This mania for huge status cars amongst people who have no spare money is utterly nuts.

Im99912 · 21/07/2023 09:01

Has he got a small dick 😂

WarmButteryCrumpets · 21/07/2023 09:01

GiddyGladys · 21/07/2023 08:31

2014 is a pretty old car. I would be looking to change it too

Why, if it runs perfectly well?

Hibiscrubbed · 21/07/2023 09:02

A fool (with an inferiority complex) and his (family’s) money are soon parted.

He wants a flashier car to feel like the big-I-am, and he’s prepared to make your and your daughter’s lives worse so he can have the bee in his bonnet. Fucking idiot.

Hibiscrubbed · 21/07/2023 09:04

And I’m saying this as a petrol head.

Weal · 21/07/2023 09:06

No I would be furious with this. It’s one thing if you have lots of excess cash, eg am already have a large pot of savings and can afford holidays etc. it’s another if you haven’t been on holiday in years and this monthly payment will have on knock in to other areas.

It’s odd that he said he’ll pay for it out of his wage. How do you sort the finances? Are they not shared? Are you paying 50/50?

Weal · 21/07/2023 09:07

VestaTilley · 21/07/2023 08:58

YANBU. The whole cars on finance thing is a con and atrocious for the environment. The money some people spend on it is insane (and we are high earners).

We bought a used Astra for £5k in cash and will drive it until it packs up. This mania for huge status cars amongst people who have no spare money is utterly nuts.

I agree. Especially if your daily commute is short spending above the odd to get a large car is crazy until you have lots of spare cash. A big 4x4 is presumably going to be higher costs for fuel etc too!

justasking111 · 21/07/2023 09:08

Compromise. Open a car account suggest he puts £400 per month away for 12 months if he doesn't miss the money then go for a daft car. At least he'll have another 5k to put towards the new car.

Oh btw I read that a bank loan is cheaper anyway than the car company one. So do the math

Jigslaw · 21/07/2023 09:10

£41k on a car he doesn't need without asking you is ridiculously selfish, I'd also be furious.

NowItsLikeSnowAtTheBeach · 21/07/2023 09:10

He's being selfish. Your family can't afford it.

Tell him he's actually prioritising an oversized, overpriced car he can't afford literally at the expense of your family actually being able to have any extras, including a simple family holiday. Is he going to explain that to your child? That he WANTS this particular car more than everything the family collectively NEEDS?

SwordToFlamethrower · 21/07/2023 09:12

No effing way! Tell him no!
Also 5 minutes drive to work? Tell him to walk or cycle.

Jigslaw · 21/07/2023 09:13

Swrigh1234 · 21/07/2023 07:52

This thread shows the double standards on MN. OP has shared nothing about her finances other than the mortgage payment. How much household income, how much do each of them earn. How else is it spent, etc. what if OP wanted to make a purchase and the husband didn’t agree. He would be called controlling. And why is £400 a month a big amount, why not £300, £200 or £1.50.

Being outraged without knowing the full financials situation is a bit hysterical.

If there was a thread by a woman saying I want to buy (insert something she doesn't actually need neither do the family) for £41k and haven't spoken to my DH about it I honestly don't think people would be saying good for you, absolutely don't have to ask ask him. When you're grown up enough and committed enough to run a joint household with someone and have a child part of that is discussing stuff like this. If they were just dating and living apart then sure, his money is to do what he wants with, but as is these sort of decisions impact on the entire family.

Im99912 · 21/07/2023 09:15

To be fair DH and lease our cars
we generally pay upfront 2-3k keep the cars for 2 years and hand them back
I have an X2 & DH has a Mercedes
probably cost us around 750 800
a month

I probably do less than 8000 miles a year although I can do 15000 with no penalty

difference is no mortgage, no rent, no child care
plenty of savings each and good credit

it doesn’t affect our life in that we can still have 2–3 holidays abroad meals out and weekends away

I wouldn’t be paying that if I only had 5k in savings has kids and couldn’t go on holiday

coodawoodashooda · 21/07/2023 09:18

What will he do without to cover the payment plan of your financial situation changes? I was married to a spendthrift. It was a big part of the nightmare

Moneynewpence · 21/07/2023 09:19

SnarfleThree · 21/07/2023 07:47

Personal cars always in cash in my opinion.

Yup. Dsis still paying off her sports car vanity purchase from 2018 and due to col can't afford to retire...

ActDottie · 21/07/2023 09:23

I agree with you! I find it such a turn off when people get cars on finance! I always remember my friend getting cars on finance like £60k cars and I was like but you don’t have a house yet!!!! It is madness!!

We have a 2018 car which cost us £8k and we hope it’ll last us to 2028! I would never get a car on finance unless I had no choice but even then I wouldn’t be choosing a £41k car!!! It’s madness what people will spend.

Swipe left for the next trending thread