To have been annoyed at this? Kids throwing themselves at the window

[britneyfears]

DH is on annual leave. I'm working from home.

We have an office at the end of our garden - a converted shed with a large window and door. I have said all day that I have a big meeting at 3pm where I am giving a presentation to many people outside of my company. I have told DH this many times that I really need to be left alone from 2.30 - 3.30 at least today.

Half way through presentation I see two naked children (they are 1 and 3) running up the garden chasing one another. They are laughing and shouting. I keep my concentration. They then fling themselves up against the window, knocking on the door, shouting 'mummy mummy mummy' so loudly. SO LOUD. Loud enough so people were starting to look confused.

I start stammering, looking at the door, losing my place entirely, words getting jumbled up - - I'm hoping DH is going to get them & I can style it out. After a few mins - I have to apologise and ask for 2 mins turn off my camera and microphone.

DH then appears. Slowly walking up the garden.

As he scoops them up - I mouth 'fuck off' at him. I can't actually remember mouthing that. I mouthed something and kind of flailed my arms around to get him to take the kids back to the house.

I go back to presentation. My boss looks pissed off. Everyone else looks sympathetic.

My DH is now not talking to me as he says I'm bang out of order and shouldn't mouth fuck off at him and it#s "not nice". I didn't even have a go at him, just in the heat of the moment, with around a hundred people waiting for me to continue my presentation - I was trying to express a sense of urgency!

AIBU to have mouthed fuck off. Or is that an fairly understandable reaction to the situation.

No, he is NOT really upset with you. He is PERFORMING being upset. whole different thing.

I see two possibilities.

1. He fucked up, and knows he fucked up, and is taking the 'Attack is the best form of defence' line.
2. He deliberately sabotaged your meeting. He knew it was happening and decided to put you in your place, make you look incompetent, make your boss think that this is par for the course when you work from home, etc. etc.

I'm undecided as to which is the most likely. His slow walk preceded you mouthing FO, so I'm leaning towards sabotage.

"DH is now OK with me. He's started talking to me again

We rely on my income."

I would most definitely NOT be OK with him, and he would be left in no doubt about that! What has happened between him starting his huff, and being OK? Did you feel you had to apologise profusely? When really, he's the one that should be apologising?

He’s lucky you didn’t kill him. I hope the next time he has to present you hack his account and scrawl BUM on the slides

Bullshit.

She made a point of telling him the time and what she needed, and he completely blew it off.

It's not an innocent mistake, best case scenario it's gross disrespect and worst scenario it's deliberate sabotage.

He should have taken them out for the important hour

🙄

Totally with you here OP, he certainly should have made the effort to keep the kids away for that critical half hour, and I can see how you would be very frustrated that he would have the nerve to be annoyed at you - given an appropriate response from you considering his lack of effort and understanding!
It feels like a lack of respect for you and your work, maybe he is jealous?

You are one million per cent NOT unreasonable. I would have been fuming at him!

Get some blinds and a lock for the door.

This goes to the heart of it. He knew it was important for your work and he sabotaged it.

YANBU

Buy I do think this is one of the reasons WFH isn’t ideal. Why are we still doing it? I’ve often spoken to IT staff at my work and can hear children or dogs barking in the background. Not very professional.

It’s the slow walk that would’ve got me tbh. I’ve been in video calls where someone’s kid would wander into the frame and the mums would come running in to carry the kid away. OP’s husband taking his sweet, merry time is a completely different story and shows a certain thoughtlessness that I wouldn’t like.

She's working in a dedicated workspace at the end of the garden. Not in the house. There was no need for her presentation to be interrupted at all. Her husband is an arsehole.

I've worked at home for years. I have a dedicated workspace. It's not an issue (am not married to an arsehole though).

That’s horrendous. He should have taken them out if he can’t manage their behavior for one hour. He needs to be making this up to you big time.

You say he's OK with you now, are you OK with him not apologising, not respecting you, not listening to a very reasonable request from you?

Now I want to tell him to fuck off too. What a fucking idiot, so disrespectful!

Your husband is a twat, pure and simple

I hope you haven't apologised for a peaceful life. He was 100% in the wrong and frankly deserved to be told to fuck off. That's quite mild compared to what some would have said. The audacity to be in a mood as well!
I find it unbelievable that it would be impossible to look after and entertain a 1 and 3 year old for an hour inside. One hour!
Had he hurtled down the garden in a panic to get them I'd be a bit more forgiving, but the slow walk would have been it for me too.
He fucked up your meeting. I'm sure it's fine and people understand, but he really ruined something important to you and you feel shit about it. He should be the one apologising.
Hope you boss isn't too cross.

How DARE he? It's almost as if he is trying to sabotage you here. No way on earth would my DH attempt this. We both have the utmost respect for each other and our careers. He earns 5 x what I earn but sees my job equally as important as his.

I would be so angry about this and question his motives.

I have a zero tolerance for people swearing at me regardless of the circumstances. However, alongside that. I'm capable of watching my DC for a hour and making sure they don't interrupt work meetings. DH is the same.

Your DH is trying to deflect from his bad behaviour by putting you on the defensive. He's an arse and I'd be raging at him.

He admits he knew you had what he dismissively calls "a thing" at 3pm, yet he let the kids out and slowly ambled over to get them while they were screeching over your presentation. Then you were the bad guy for being Not Nice to him.

This really does look like he's deliberately undermining you because you had the audacity to be working, and needing to be undisturbed, while he was doing menial childcare.

I have got a feeling he was being crap on purpose. If it was to sabotage your meeting or to show he was in a sulk over having to look after his own kids for a while who knows. It's like people who are purposely rubbish at household tasks so they never get asked to do them. Does he have a stick up his arse over your job usually? Or just when he has to accommodate for it?

Obviously there are practical suggestions like a lock or a blind for your workspace but if the real issue is DH not giving a shit that's besides the point.

Does he regularly completely undermine your professionalism and try to sabotage your job?

I'd be livid too.

But whenever someone posts on here about how annoying it is to keep their young children quiet and out of the way while their husband wfh, they get told not to bother, it's a home first, and if the husband needs quiet he can fuck off to the office.

@WeWereInParis that sort of advice tends to be when the DH is working in the house often in the family space. Yet expects young children to be silent and out of the way. In a dedicated office at the end of the garden? Different situation.