To have been annoyed at this? Kids throwing themselves at the window

[britneyfears]

DH is on annual leave. I'm working from home.

We have an office at the end of our garden - a converted shed with a large window and door. I have said all day that I have a big meeting at 3pm where I am giving a presentation to many people outside of my company. I have told DH this many times that I really need to be left alone from 2.30 - 3.30 at least today.

Half way through presentation I see two naked children (they are 1 and 3) running up the garden chasing one another. They are laughing and shouting. I keep my concentration. They then fling themselves up against the window, knocking on the door, shouting 'mummy mummy mummy' so loudly. SO LOUD. Loud enough so people were starting to look confused.

I start stammering, looking at the door, losing my place entirely, words getting jumbled up - - I'm hoping DH is going to get them & I can style it out. After a few mins - I have to apologise and ask for 2 mins turn off my camera and microphone.

DH then appears. Slowly walking up the garden.

As he scoops them up - I mouth 'fuck off' at him. I can't actually remember mouthing that. I mouthed something and kind of flailed my arms around to get him to take the kids back to the house.

I go back to presentation. My boss looks pissed off. Everyone else looks sympathetic.

My DH is now not talking to me as he says I'm bang out of order and shouldn't mouth fuck off at him and it#s "not nice". I didn't even have a go at him, just in the heat of the moment, with around a hundred people waiting for me to continue my presentation - I was trying to express a sense of urgency!

AIBU to have mouthed fuck off. Or is that an fairly understandable reaction to the situation.

@sadlittlelifejane but that's because you, and women in general, are unlikely to have done it on purpose.
While it's not unknown for a controlling "D"H to have done it as a way of undermining his wife working.

On about the comments not the OP

A lot of conclusions being jumped to though.

Why didn't you go to the office? I WFH but if I know it is going to be a challenging day I head into the office. The time I didn't, my DD disturbed my meeting with a very senior official. It wasn't the end of the world - it's a great inside joke between us now - but when I have those meetings again, I head into the office now. Can't risk WFH for the ultra important ones I'm afraid.

Hubby not talking to you is a little OTT but so was telling him to fuck off. Swings and roundabouts, I suppose?

So annoying! YANBU.

Your husband is an asshole, full stop.

Unfuckingbelievable that he could not assure you of the peace and quiet you needed to do your big presentation.

I would have a very hard time getting over an incident that made me look incompetent and disorganized in front of my boss and colleagues. A VERY hard time.

I’m guessing you’re either a man or a fifties style housewife who doesn’t support working women.

The husband is a complete dick and needs to be shown this thread.

Unless he apologises profusely and tries his best to make it up to the OP, I think she needs to re-evaluate their relationship because he clearly needs chucking back into the sea of maggots where he belongs.

He is being ridiculous and it is totally fair that you lost your cool and told him to fuck off, silently. It's not hard to manage two small children and keep them in the house. Presumably he could have kept the back door locked and them out of the garden for that hour? Not hard.

Does he think your job is expendable or something?

Quite the opposite. I have a great career now but did the sahm thing for 4 years. It was fucking hard. So I empathise with the parent at home. And if my husband had a go at me for something like this when id been at home with the kids all day just trying to survive, I'd likely be pretty upset. But he wouldn't, because he's not a cunt.

Why didn't you go to the office? I WFH but if I know it is going to be a challenging day I head into the office.

Because she has an office at home and she had childcare. She shouldn't have to go to a different location to work. I have a very demanding job, I WFH, I don't have a physical office (well I do, but it's in Hong Kong). My son is older now, but when he was younger I had to ensure I had good childcare in place.

I'm a lone parent and actually one of the nails in the very large coffin that was our marriage was how he had no respect for my work, even though I was supporting the whole family. What happened to OP today and the subsequent fall out reminded me of how things were.

And if my husband had a go at me for something like this when id been at home with the kids all day just trying to survive

He's on annual leave so it's not like he's been at home full time for years and years and is done in. The kids are 1 and 3 - not a colicky newborn.

@sadlittlelifejane the DH had a days annual leave and was looking after the children for that day. It is not a big challenge to keep the children away from the home office for 1 hour. He isn't a stressed out SAHP who is bored to tears with looking after the children with no support. This was one day, in fact one hour of one day.

He could have locked the back door. He could have sat them down with a snack and screens if he had to. He could have taken them out to a play area for that hour. So many ways he could have ensured a hour without disturbing the OP. But he couldn't do any of those! The OP is reasonable to be cross with him.

These things do happen but it was the slow walk over that bloody did it for me!

Also he's mad with me for saying FO, not the other way round! I wasn't even that mad as I know looking after small kids is hard. But I was miffed when I came back in the house and he was in the huff with me!

I converted the shed myself to put space between me and family home when I work from home. I did this so for 3 days a week I can still do bath, bed, breakfast with kids. The meeting was entirely virtual. I go into office for in person meetings.

DH is now OK with me. He's started talking to me again

We rely on my income.

Maybe he forgot. God forbid

You learned a few things today:

1. Your husband doesn't give a shit about your career.
2. He resents being left solely in charge of the children.

3.Your place is in the wrong.

He deliberately sabotaged you to make sure it doesn't happen again, and also managed to make it your fault. Don't give in. If anything, due to this incident I'd make sure similar important meetings happen in the office and he can look after the kids for a whole day.

He doesn't get to be angry and give you silent treatment because HE fucked up, I would assume he has done this deliberately, I would tell him this and tell him to fuck off once more.

" Slowly walking up the garden path " - I'm furious on your behalf, who does he think he is?!

@sadlittlelifejane how many times did you actually fuck up your husband's job because you forgot things or couldn't handle the kids?

@sadlittlelifejane so if he forgot, despite no doubt being reminded today by the OP, then he is apologetic? Except he isn't. He's got the hump instead! They rely on the OPs income, he should be concerned about the potential work consequences for her of any fuck ups. It's not good enough and the "oh he just forget" is not good enough either. Why did he forget? Why didn't he dash over and grab the kids quickly? Surely at that point the penny might have dropped?

Oh come on. Bit dramatic.

@sadlittlelifejane Not at all. I didn't say a major fuck up or getting fired, but I'll rephrase for you.

How many times did you similarly impact your DH's job ?

He should have planned to take the kids out if he couldn’t keep them away from you at home. He owes you a big apology.

Exactly

yanbu op it’s not like you didn’t tell him how important it was

I'm so sorry OP. He may or may not had done it deliberately but he definitely doesn't think your job is important enough to protect it. Which means he has zero respect and belief in you as a proper wage earner as opposed to earning "pin money".

You need to tell him that this never ever happens again or there will be serious consequences regarding your marriage and possibly financial future. If he tries to undermine you again then try counselling to improve communication. I wish you well but unless he realises and accepts what he has done its going to happen again.

Why is your husband trying to sabotage your career do you think?

Oh and you're the one who earns the money? He's really resentful isn't he? What a spiteful, petty, shitty little man he is.

What are his mitigating points?