To have been annoyed at this? Kids throwing themselves at the window

[britneyfears]

DH is on annual leave. I'm working from home.

We have an office at the end of our garden - a converted shed with a large window and door. I have said all day that I have a big meeting at 3pm where I am giving a presentation to many people outside of my company. I have told DH this many times that I really need to be left alone from 2.30 - 3.30 at least today.

Half way through presentation I see two naked children (they are 1 and 3) running up the garden chasing one another. They are laughing and shouting. I keep my concentration. They then fling themselves up against the window, knocking on the door, shouting 'mummy mummy mummy' so loudly. SO LOUD. Loud enough so people were starting to look confused.

I start stammering, looking at the door, losing my place entirely, words getting jumbled up - - I'm hoping DH is going to get them & I can style it out. After a few mins - I have to apologise and ask for 2 mins turn off my camera and microphone.

DH then appears. Slowly walking up the garden.

As he scoops them up - I mouth 'fuck off' at him. I can't actually remember mouthing that. I mouthed something and kind of flailed my arms around to get him to take the kids back to the house.

I go back to presentation. My boss looks pissed off. Everyone else looks sympathetic.

My DH is now not talking to me as he says I'm bang out of order and shouldn't mouth fuck off at him and it#s "not nice". I didn't even have a go at him, just in the heat of the moment, with around a hundred people waiting for me to continue my presentation - I was trying to express a sense of urgency!

AIBU to have mouthed fuck off. Or is that an fairly understandable reaction to the situation.

@britneyfears do you think it was really his best effort at managing the kids? It seems unlikely to me, especially the slow walk to grab the children when it was clear they were causing a disturbance. Presumably he'd be angry at you again if you raised that concept with him?

I'd be very pissed off with the "fannying about on email" comments too. What a bloody cheek. I suppose he'd be upset if you pointed out that fannying around on email is what pays the mortgage/bills.

Going to go against the grain here and saying as a mother of 4 young kids, the pesky little

ninja bastards can scramble away as you (e.g) turn around to pick up a dish cloth to soak up the water they spilt for the 100th time that day. Just saying, may not have been intentional on his part.

Really? You can't keep the back door shut and locked when you know your spouse is delivering an important presentation in their garden office?

I find that hard to believe.

Yep absolutely this. Of course he knew - just didn't care. Are you more successful at work than he is? 🌹

If there’s a lock on the door, i would definitely lock it, but if there’s not then yeah, it’s possible for something like that to happen.

My blood a boiling on your behalf OP!
The absolute audacity of your DH! I would absolutely lose it with him. No explaining. What an absolute prat. And he’s now not talking to you?! No no no. He would be getting the mother of all bollockings from me.

And when that happened (bearing in mind it's two kids, not four) would you go tearing out of the door to retrieve them, given this is your husband's career which pays for most of your comfortable lifestyle? Or would you fondly watch them tear down to the end of the garden and see your husband have to leave his presentation and get up distressed before sauntering down to retrieve them?

I'd hate to think you're that much of an arsehole. But who knows?

This seems like a deliberate act of sabotage, as PPs have said.

OP, I'd tell him a lie. I'd tell him that you've had a telling off at work and now you're in serious trouble about what happened. Tell him you've been told there can't be children around you, as it's in your contact that you can't be doing childcare at the same time. Your boss expects 100% of your attention on work presentations at X time Y time and Z time in the next week.

Then enjoy your fully quiet time to yourself :)

I get why you were annoyed but personally I hate being sworn at so if DH told me to f off I'd be pissed. But in this scenario you were under a lot of pressure and it was his responsibility to keep the kids out of your way so you could work in peace so he should be apologising for that. I do however think that if you're wfh and you have kids bosses need to understand that it's their home too and things like this happen to the best of us.

No one has doors to their house which don't lock.

He actually said it’s unacceptable you mouthed fuck off to him when he did exactly what you asked him not to do?!

What is totally unacceptable is that he didn’t keep the kids away for that 1 hour you told him you had something really important where you couldn’t be interrupted

What is totally unacceptable is that when the kids did come out, that he casually strolled down to get them and not apologise immediately when he saw you were having to deal with them

What is totally unacceptable is that he has somehow turned the blame onto you and is cross with you., even though he’s the one that’s fucked up.

You’re a better woman than me, I would have lost my shit at him!

Hopefully he’s now apologised and understand why you reacted the way you did.

I am really angry on your behalf. You are trying to do a professional job and he is fucking you over. I wonder whether you could use blinds when you're on a call so the children can't see you and don't try to attract your attention. If you have space, I would install a gate as well so that they couldn't get to you. As for your husband, he is very very very unreasonable.

I would be fuming!!! That would piss me off so so much.

"We rely on my income"

*"He's on annual leave"
*

And there you go;he's an insecure man who clearly doesn't like his wife being the breadwinner so takes it out on you by undermining you and deliberately sabotaging you.

Didn't you know he should be earning more than you and you should contribute your income plus take care of the children/house and you certainly shouldn't be expecting him to parent his own toddlers whilst on annual leave.

The poor lamb should be sitting with his feet up whilst you dance attendance on him;how dare he be disturbed and made to look after his own children for a whole 60 minutes.

Your husband I'm sorry to say is a dickhead.

I do echo most of what's already been said here, but taking the BLATANT disrespect of your presentation being interrupted I may have smiled a bit at the mental image?

I was in the middle of an interview once when my teenage son decided to burst through the door, cat aloft, recreating the opening scene from the Lion King.

*taking out

Omg OP! Get angry! Many years ago, DH had a late night interview on Skype (those were the days!) when we had a tiny baby and I was on mat leave. Job on the other side of the world so different time zones. We lived in a minuscule flat. I was on standby to remove tiny baby from said flat the second they started becoming upset for that all important hour. And I did as necessary (went for a drive). That’s what a good partner does!

@Beenhereforever1978 - the Lion King reenactment did make me laugh 😂

Thankfully it also made the interviewer laugh 😄

He's a dick and deserved more than a fuck off.

That's great @Beenhereforever1978. I'm guessing if you were an investment manager giving a presentation to your investors about the performance of their funds they may have found it less amusing.

(I have no idea what the OP does but a client presentation is not one where 'amusing children' are welcome).

MN sometimes has a rep for being really hard on men but this thread is full of women minimising and downplaying absolutely abhorrent behaviour. It's not cute, it's not a mistake. It's deliberate jealous sabotage.

OP

I update my opinion. It's not just that he wanted to undermine you.
He wanted to humiliate you, in front of your colleagues/clients whatever. To put you in your place.
Who do you think you are, fannying around in your 'big' job, undeservedly earning more than him.
He wanted you brought to heel.

Absolutely 100% this.

You are being spectacularly naive if you do not see this WAS deliberate and extremely foolish if you just dismiss this.

He knew well what he was doing.

You need to have a long hard look at the loser you are with.

Because only an insecure loser would do this.

This is a very serious point in your relationship and I would suggest one that you may look back on and realise that he is neither a good man, father, nor husband.

Good men do not deliberately set out to humiliate their wife.

Read up on DARVO.

Because that is EXACTLY how he behaved having deliberately sabotage your presentation.

I'd watch yourself OP.

He's a dud.

I was at pains to point out that I was in agreement with most previous posters.

An occasional moment of levity isn't always an attempt to minimise a situation, that said if you're struggling to find anything even vaguely amusing about the situation in the moment (as referenced by a precious poster with the BBC news clip from Korea).

Who says my interview wasn't as an investment manager and wasn't in the form of a presentation please?

he can go fuck himself for the foreseeable

he has zero respect for you .