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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend topless in front of DH

576 replies

cakehoover123 · 20/07/2023 14:53

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

OP posts:
namechange39673 · 21/07/2023 19:34

YANBU breastfed both my DC never once did this

Grayson1965 · 21/07/2023 19:42

she is after ur hubby silly women why would you do that

BeeHappy12 · 21/07/2023 19:45

porridgeisbae · 20/07/2023 14:55

I do know of women who use breastfeeding as a way to flaunt.

No you don't

RampantIvy · 21/07/2023 19:49

there’s plenty of boobs on display on nights out, beach holidays without a baby attached, why is this such a big deal.

There is a massive difference between feeding a baby and seeing topless women on the beach, and if you think that men (and some women) don't look and perv over them you are incredibly naive and unrealistic.

AppleTurnover1000Degrees · 21/07/2023 20:20

Mediocrates · 21/07/2023 18:06

And yet it has been entirely sexualised. Who cares how she feeds her baby in her own home? The internalised misogyny on this thread is startling

Show quote history

You can't have an opinion about another women without being called out on misogymy.

difficultspaghetti · 21/07/2023 20:25

personally, I wouldn't GAF because my DP is not interested in other women. he might find it a bit awkward though 🤣

Sennelier1 · 21/07/2023 20:32

I wonder why she took af everything, both her bra ánd her top. Do you have any idea if she does this for every feed? In my experience even if you intend to Switch boobs you can just open both sides of your bra (in turn or both from the start) and lift or open your Tshirt? I think it's a bit weird, but not necessarily flirtatious.

itsgettingweird · 21/07/2023 20:35

I had ds is a foreign country where it was normal to be topless poolside and beach etc.

I often wore strapless tops etc when moving around.

I'd just pull it down to feed. Would already be topless if at communal pool etc.

I had no qualms about feeding ds publicly and no qualms about being topless.

But I never once pulled my top to my waist to feed if I had visitors or went to someone's house. Just never saw the need - and most of them had seen my tits anyway 🫣🤣

DeeCeeCherry · 21/07/2023 20:43

Yes women will say breastfeeding isn't sexual - but there's 'lactating porn' out there so very obviously someone's into it sexually, aren't they? That being the case then opf course some women know breastfeeding can be seen as sexual by others

& If a woman wants to show her boobs to a man then she will, her breastfeeding doesn't make her some kind of supreme sexless Madonna who couldn't possibly get off on a man watching her, nor wonder if he's getting off on it.

Breastfeeding whilst stripped to the waist in front him like that is peak 'look at me/look at these'

Of course if several of you breastfed in front of your husband's mates like that then you'll think it's fine. & If you didn't do that then you know exactly why you didn't so stop with the faux naivety

FoodCentre · 21/07/2023 20:46

The internalised misogyny on this thread is startling

You could just admit that you misunderstood, instead of throwing out misogyny. I'd become absolutely meaningless.

The entire point of the thread is that breastfeeding can be done without stripping off. Not that breastfeeding is sexual. Keep up.

AppleTurnover1000Degrees · 21/07/2023 20:48

@DeeCeeCherry this is well explained.

In my circle its not a thing to do.

When you are at home with DH and children you can do what you want. It's odd to do it in front of friends.

There are a lot of things I do at home that I wouldnt do infront of guests.

laylababe5 · 21/07/2023 20:49

I take out both to breastfeed as my 2 year old likes to fiddle with the other boob. I don't do this when I have company or if I'm out and about. Only at home or in for example my sister's or Mum's house. Everyone is different though, and at the end of the day she was feeding her baby. I think breastfeeding requires a certain level of losing your self-consciousness about your breasts, and I definitely don't see them as sexy anymore. I used to love being touched there, now it just makes me think of my child. I wouldn't read too much into it.

HarrietPoole · 21/07/2023 20:49

GigiAnnna · 20/07/2023 15:01

I breastfed all my kids and there's no need to have your nipples out at all. Inappropriate and weird. The purpose of breasts are to feed children, but they are also sexual and that will never change.

The sole purpose of breasts is to feed babies. Breasts as sexual organs is a social construct.

Qbish · 21/07/2023 20:50

DeeCeeCherry · 21/07/2023 20:43

Yes women will say breastfeeding isn't sexual - but there's 'lactating porn' out there so very obviously someone's into it sexually, aren't they? That being the case then opf course some women know breastfeeding can be seen as sexual by others

& If a woman wants to show her boobs to a man then she will, her breastfeeding doesn't make her some kind of supreme sexless Madonna who couldn't possibly get off on a man watching her, nor wonder if he's getting off on it.

Breastfeeding whilst stripped to the waist in front him like that is peak 'look at me/look at these'

Of course if several of you breastfed in front of your husband's mates like that then you'll think it's fine. & If you didn't do that then you know exactly why you didn't so stop with the faux naivety

Ha ha, nicely said!

Also, I have learnt that if I - or another woman - have a feeling about interactions between my OH/DH and another woman, they were always right

AppleTurnover1000Degrees · 21/07/2023 20:50

DeeCeeCherry · 21/07/2023 20:43

Yes women will say breastfeeding isn't sexual - but there's 'lactating porn' out there so very obviously someone's into it sexually, aren't they? That being the case then opf course some women know breastfeeding can be seen as sexual by others

& If a woman wants to show her boobs to a man then she will, her breastfeeding doesn't make her some kind of supreme sexless Madonna who couldn't possibly get off on a man watching her, nor wonder if he's getting off on it.

Breastfeeding whilst stripped to the waist in front him like that is peak 'look at me/look at these'

Of course if several of you breastfed in front of your husband's mates like that then you'll think it's fine. & If you didn't do that then you know exactly why you didn't so stop with the faux naivety

I meant you explained it well.

RitzyMcFitzy · 21/07/2023 20:51

I don't see much internalised misogyny on this thread, just women (many of them current or former breastfeeders themselves) discussing an unusual event.

AppleTurnover1000Degrees · 21/07/2023 20:54

HarrietPoole · 21/07/2023 20:49

The sole purpose of breasts is to feed babies. Breasts as sexual organs is a social construct.

Show quote history

A lot of woman enjoy having her breasts touched.

Yes they are firstly for feeding babies but they have been part of sex for many many years.

WaltzingWaters · 21/07/2023 20:56

It’s odd. I bf in front of anyone/anywhere. But I do so as discreetly as possible.

Hmm1234 · 21/07/2023 21:02

She waited for you to leave the room which is VERY odd I’m surprised your partner didn’t get up and look out the window

RitzyMcFitzy · 21/07/2023 21:04

Saying 'breasts as a sexual organ is just a social construct' is silly. As though it's some recent affectation and not something that's been deeply ingrained in humans since we were homo erectus.

FoodCentre · 21/07/2023 21:08

Breasts as sexual organs is a social construct.

And that'll be why every culture in the world find breasts attractive. Even in countries or communities that are more liberal with breasts on show, do you seriously think they see breasts as asexual? That men there aren't attracted to any other part of women's bodies besides vaginas?

AppleTurnover1000Degrees · 21/07/2023 21:11

My breasts are one my DH's top 5 favourite things about me. Personality is first of course 😂.

JackieLou · 21/07/2023 21:11

Theres absolutely no way that by 8 months she hasn’t worked out how to BF discreetly and still comfortably.
she had her other boob out because she wanted your husband to see it.

OhwhyOY · 21/07/2023 21:17

Did she have a top/bra that wqs difficult to feed with? I've worn dresses before that I've belatedly realised I can't feed properly in (though haven't whipped it off in public!). This is the only reason I can think of. Otherwise odd. But the whole 'it's easy to cover up so no one can see anything' IMO is affected by your boob size and your baby. With large boobs and a wiggly baby that pulls off covers you're screwed. I gave up covering up - but would still only have one boob out and do my best to shield from view with my hand/body positioning.

AHelpfulHand · 21/07/2023 21:20

She’s no friend of yours.

I’d drop her

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