Friend topless in front of DH

[cakehoover123]

Went to a friend's house - just her, me and DH. I went to the loo. When I came back in the room, she was breastfeeding her 8-month-old.

She'd removed whole top and bra on both sides, so was topless, with the non-feeding boob not covered up by baby. DH was doing a decent job of keeping his eyes on her face though 🤣

AIBU to think that's a bit odd?

I know I can't ever comment to her. Just wondered what to make of it privately, especially since she's always been a wee bit flirty with DH.

But I've never breastfed... so maybe this is normal, or maybe I'm just a prude. Would you breastfeed alone with a friend's DH? And if so would you cover up more than this?

https://petition.parliament.uk/archived/petitions/259610

you can see here @AlfietheSchnauzer that it’s not against the law. You’re just being ridiculous. I can walk round topless anywhere a man can. My nipples are no less offensive or sexual than his

@Mediocrates - Precisely ❤. It is the OP's home for goodness sake. If someone doesn't like what she is doing they can leave

So, why would she wait until the OP was out of the room, then remove her top and her bra to breastfeed an 8 month old baby where breastfeeding was fully established?

Don't you think that is weird? Most people do.

It’s certainly an unusual way to breastfeed, but people are seriously suggesting it was some sort of move on the husband whilst a) she was busy feeding and b) his wife was upstairs. It’s ridiculous and my views aren’t swayed on whether “most people” agree or not 🤷‍♀️

@Mediocrates you don't know this woman from Adam. Its always people closest to you who would be having sex right under your nose people do it. I'm not saying OPs DH is doing this with her friend. Didn't her baby need feeding whilst OP was sat down in the room? Funny how she whipped her boobs out when OP left the room.

Yeah, that's odd. Breast feeding is perfectly fine and acceptable anywhere. But most women prefer to do it discreetly. This seems very attention seeking

Does she do this in public, or just in front of your DH? Either way, very odd.

Posters are conflating breasts and breatfeeding. Men may or may not find BF attractive, but they almost always find breasts attractive irrespective of any "associated" circumstances. To suggest that there is no sexual desire on part of the partner's husband is absurd, espesically when everyone knows the extent and extremes to which "most" men go to scratch that itch - to suggest otherwise ? fairy tales.
All this aversion to the sexualisation and comodification of female sexuality, and then peels off her bra for the world to see.

That reminds me, I must look up bra padlocks on Amazon. I would hate to think that some poor male would have life long issues at seeing my boobs.

Well said @houseymousy

doesn't anyone else find the timing suspicious? she waits until OP steps out the room ..

Hmmm.

Well. Nothing against women being able to breastfeed anywhere they wish to.

However, there is a thing with some men (and my ex husband was one of them) that they are sexually attracted to breast feeding women and their main interest would be to have milk from a breastfeeding mother.

No, before I encountered that from my ex, I wouldn't have imagined it either, but my ex asked me and I said NO.

Now however anyone might feel about that I think that is a relevant issue. In my book breastfeeding is for babies. Not grown men.

I guess the person in question might have picked up on a certain wish from DH in your case.

It is not about denying women the right to bfeed it is about something else. I hope I'm wrong.

Good luck

@truthhurts23 I do! I wonder if her own DH was present would the friend had done this still.

Definitely not normal. Is she normally like this ?

My thoughts exactly, I’m sure the husband can contain himself. She’s just feeding a child in her own home ffs. It’s pretty easy to
just not look

There is no need to take off your entire top and both sides of your bra ! One woman in our NCT group would do a similar thing and start arguing with people if they stared or said anything. She seemed to enjoy the confrontation.

She didn’t remove her bra she had both of the breastfeeding clips undone so presumably could see both nipples.
there’s plenty of boobs on display on nights out, beach holidays without a baby attached, why is this such a big deal. Some men are turned on by feet but I’m still going to wear sandals

Also a valid point I would say. But still doesn't quite get this scenario, does it?

@Forestfriendlygarden This is why it's so problematic. Men have fetished practically every part of the female body, breast milk is only a stone throw away. It is complete madness, and women fail to understand that men will sexualise them irrespective of the baby, and in this case, probably record them and share the content online with communities of pervy men.

The masculine sexual appetite is so much more "aggressive" than the female appetite and men will exploit this for their own gain, and women will lose again.

There was an article on the beeb today describing how police officers were sexually degrading and objectifying women on the streets - even women who had been robbed and were sobbing in front of them! and they are meant to embody the highest standard in society.

If its all about "MAA rights" then these women should have no problem with men identifying as women because "MAA rights". There has to be a limit to things.

I agree with your housey totally.

That is why at the time, years ago I said no and I felt really, really uncomfortable about even being asked.

One reason why ex is an ex!

Sorry to sound so stupid, but what are MAA rights?

Maintenance and accomodation!

I'm a bit out of touch!

I had to do this in hospital with a small early baby who could not feed from me with the breastfeeding helper lady and I found that embarrassing! No way tits out in that situation and I breastfed 2 kids for a year each. I wore a strappy vest which I pulled down with a tshirt over so only nipple was out and no-one saw that as it had a baby on it. I swear in the whole time breastfeeding, not one person saw boob.

Its the maintanence and accommodation of breast rights. /jk
MAA = my
Give me MaAaAA rights!

By the time you have an 8 month old, you know how to feed without taking your whole top off and having everything out. I wouldn‘t have it all out even if I was alone at home with baby. Just…. A faff… and cold! If baby was 8days old and she was getting to grips with feeding…. That would be different. But yes, this is weird.

I see. Sorry I'm getting up to speed on this.