AIBU end of term present

[Bunny93]

Hello everyone,

I am a reception teacher and my class very kindly gifted me a hamper at the end of the year. It is an M&S hamper worth £75, so very expensive.

It has 6 items inside. 1 of the items is a half bottle of wine, which I don't drink for religious reasons. 4 of the other 5 are things with nuts, which I am allergic to and the remaining item I can make use of is a jar of jam. I am struggling a lot for money at the moment and would really like to swap the hamper in exchange for vouchers where I can buy food.

I don't want to seem ungrateful though, and it would mean asking a parent who organised this gift for the receipt in order to return it. I tried to see if I could take it in without one and was refused. But the thought of having a £75 jar of jam actually breaks my heart ☹️ what would you do? AIBU to consider asking for a receipt?

Move on. Dot. Become over-invested. Accept its a bit of a shame but not a big deal. Say a big thank you. Re-gift the stuff to people who will enjoy the items. Forget about it.

I have not read all the comments and maybe someone has said this - but I am a teacher in a college we never get gifts and would never expect a gift... I can't believe your response. It's about time parents stop giving teachers gift and supported teachers and schools in getting more money to fund the needs of our children, and to pay all school staff properly - that includes TA, receptionist, cleaners etc.

Whenever I purchase a gift for anyone, including my children and parents, I ask three questions to myself:

1. Given the choice, would the recipient want this?
2. Would I want it?
3. Would I be willing to use my own money to buy it?

Opting for John Lewis or M&S vouchers is a safe choice for most individuals. The recipients can select their own hampers or gifts, or allocate the funds towards food, essentials, or upgrading a desired purchase.

Is there a teachers end of term present swap thread?
(Not a practical solution as postage would probably outweigh the rwal value to you that you might receive)

I'd see if M&S will exchange for vouchers first OP. At least you can then get some food you can eat or a couple of items of clothing or whatever. Just say it was a gift and you have a nut allergy. Worth a try.

Yep group gifts are usual terrible and the 'it' parents try to bully everyone into paying in because they want the glory of delivering a big (usually gaudy 'hun' type) present.

I agree that hampers are a huge rip-off for what they cost and what you get. They're a bit like what you get chancers entrepreneurs doing on FB Marketplace, where they stick some chocolate bars in a tarted up shoe box and ask five times the price - only this is an actual recognised big shop doing it.

can you sell it on ebay.. collection only?

So your potential pool of buyers will only be local people. You know exactly what will happen, don't you?!

Also, if somebody doesn't drink alcohol because of religious beliefs, I can't imagine that it will sit very easily with them to sell alcohol and make money from it. Maybe if they own a shop and have made that conscious decision what to stock and sell, but an individual sale?

Same with if you go down the chazza shop route - make sure you take it to one a couple of towns away, next time you're visiting a friend or family, just to make sure.

so many people saying M&S might exchange for vouchers - lots of people have explained they won’t exchange/refund a voucher full stop unless faulty as it’s a specific exclusion.

Im also surprised how many people are slagging off the parents for buying this. They didn’t buy it to be arseholes. Someone has gone to the effort to arrange this and collect donations, which is a ballache, and bought something they hoped OP would like. I agree it’s not the best present of you don’t check what people like, but sometimes people don’t know what to buy. We don’t know the likely demographic of the parents in the class and £75 might be a huge sum of money for them to have collected. A voucher would be better (if the school allows it - ours doesn’t), and I understand OP’s disappointment and why people might think asking for the receipt was in principle ok - but people saying they’d be furious? That the parents somehow need to know it was a shit gift? Awful. They were trying to be nice. They didn’t send her a festering turd as some kind of fuck you.

This is precisely why I’ve done Amazon vouchers. Im sorry op! That really is rubbish.

(yes I know teacher may be morally opposed to Amazon, but at least there is a massive likelihood they’ll be able to get something they want).

Do you need the receipt to exchange it? If you have a card or something that came with it, the shop might accept it was a gift and let you change it? That would be my first port of call. I doubt they'll give you vouchers but they might let you choose food items up to its value.

Moral of the story - give a voucher instead. Then the person can spend it on underwear, pyjamas, wine or food at their choice.

Yes. And even with M&S vouchers. You can buy groceries even if you don't want anything else. I do drink wine so I could easily spend a £75 voucher on wine, but you could buy bread, crisps, cheese, ready meals, anything with it.

I tried to see if I could take it in without one and was refused sorry I've just seen this hidden away in your OP. Is it worth trying again in a different M&S or maybe it will be a different member of staff? They are not always consistent in their approach. Or email their customer service team?

I'd absolutely do this.

As a parent, we contribute £10 per child towards a teacher's gift at Christmas and at the end of the year. That is approx £500 in gifts (we give vouchers) from the class for the year. I'd hate to think the teacher wasn't able to use the gifts.

Is it worth trying again in a different M&S or maybe it will be a different member of staff? They are not always consistent in their approach. Or email their customer service team?

If it's specific company policy that hampers/food can't be exchanged, the only way any member of staff in any branch would refund/exchange it is if it was found to be faulty in some way. The receipt is irrelevant, really.

If it were a jumper with a clear M&S label, they most probably would exchange it for other goods - but jumpers don't generally go out of date and people don't eat them, thus risking illness from expired or tampered-with foodstuffs!

Good lord do not ask for a receipt. Just regift. So rude.

It isn't rude at all. Its practical.

Really and truly, parents are not going to be offended by this at all.

Can you ask the Head to send a reminder out to parents about bringing things into school that contain nuts.... or other allergens as they have both staff and pupils with allergies??

May be a more tactful way of letting people know.

Bloody hell - so many cancel the cheque posts.
Read the thread folks.

OP, will you use the basket itself? Is it good enough quality to stand the test of time to take on days out?

Then regift the contents you won't use and then do a lesson next year on nut allergies and why some people don't drink alcohol using yourself as the model

You would rather someone received nothing when you gave them a gift than that they asked you for a gift receipt? Is that really your intention when you give a gift?

Except you can't return hampers with or w/o a receipt.

M&S return and exchange policy states "Which products cannot be returned?Face coverings, Beauty products, bra accessories, duvets, earrings, flowers, food, food gifts, Food to Order, fruit baskets, furniture, gift cards, hampers, made-to-measure and personalised items...."long list of practically everything apart from socks.

Yes the teachers would love 25 drawings from the class :(

Seriously? You can't actually believe that.

My DC1 gave a card (homemade) to her teacher last year. I also contributed £10 for the teacher's end of term class gift. When my child was putting something into the bin, she saw her homemade card in the bin! Needless to say the vouchers weren't in the bin....

If you don't want to contribute to the class collection then say you don't agree with them/you're too tight to contribute/you can't afford them but save us the lies. Nobody believes them.

Such a shame. As a gifted, I would hate to know this had happened.

Would you not go into M and S and see if they will exchange for vouchers. I’d try this in your shoes as nothing to lose now?

Then I’d regift if not

I still don’t think it’s rude to ask for the receipt because the OP cannot literally use this gift. Some may say not drinking alcohol due to her faith is a “choice” but no one chooses to be allergic. She is allergic to this gift. Depending on the severity of her allergies this gift could possibly kill her.
It’s not that she doesn’t like it - she cannot use it.
Would you give someone who is blind a paperback book as a gift? No - because they can’t read it. Would you give someone who is paraplegic a pair of roller skates? No - because they can’t use them.
If I had contributed to a joint present I would be annoyed my money was spent on something that was unusable to the person receiving the gift.
Any gifts involving alcohol and food it should be checked the gift recipient will be ok with it before buying.