AIBU end of term present

[Bunny93]

Hello everyone,

I am a reception teacher and my class very kindly gifted me a hamper at the end of the year. It is an M&S hamper worth £75, so very expensive.

It has 6 items inside. 1 of the items is a half bottle of wine, which I don't drink for religious reasons. 4 of the other 5 are things with nuts, which I am allergic to and the remaining item I can make use of is a jar of jam. I am struggling a lot for money at the moment and would really like to swap the hamper in exchange for vouchers where I can buy food.

I don't want to seem ungrateful though, and it would mean asking a parent who organised this gift for the receipt in order to return it. I tried to see if I could take it in without one and was refused. But the thought of having a £75 jar of jam actually breaks my heart ☹️ what would you do? AIBU to consider asking for a receipt?

It's the thought that counts.

I was raised to always accept every gift graciously and thank the giver profusely, no matter what.

Please don't give it back or ask for a receipt. Be grateful. Eat the jam and re-gift the other presents. Maybe buy yourself some scones and cream to enjoy with the Jam and be grateful for the v kind thought.

But not that much thought has gone into it.

The jam has champagne in it, if it's the same £75 hamper on the M&S website.

Giving a Muslim alcohol is not a kind thought, it’s a shit thought.

Perhaps against the grain but I would definitely ask - if I were the parent organiser I would really want you to have what was most helpful. Honestly - especially if there’s food which doesn’t agree with you.
Please do ask!

I completly get how annoying it is. But I think it would cause a lot of upset. It could also mean they don't bother another year.

I would, however, reguft it so it isn't wasted and saves you buying a gift for someone else, or even sell it on ebay, no parent would ever know.

At our school they always do a meet the tea her thing at the start of the school year. It's for kids and parents. It always includes 'a bit about me' in the PowerPoint and says things like "I'm Mrs x and ive been a teacher for x years. I my spare time I love dancing and eating Galexys!"

You could do similar, but add a comment like, although I have to be careful as I'm allergic to nuts!

Might stop it happening again? We have similar with my daughter getting lots of chocolate every birthday and Christmas that she can't have x

@Luxell934 what about exam marking? I’m sure now it can be done from home as a lot of it is done electronically and I’m sure I read on here before you can get around £1000?

I’ve returned to M&S without a receipt several times & they give you a gift receipt in that case, but not a cash refund. That’s their policy. So I would ask to speak to a manager in-store. Their customer service is very customer focused so I would be surprised if they didn’t agree to take it back under the circumstances. Good luck.

Oh please just accept it graciously in the spirit it was given and when the heat dies down give it , either whole or in parts to someone who can appreciate it.

Greenshed

I realise that not all churches advocate tee-totalism; that's why I said 'some'. Fair enough about the licence - it was a genuine pondering.

Where on earth did I try to put anybody down - I'm baffled on that one?! Incidentally, what would I read up on - I don't think there's one central directory that will tell you the attitude towards alcohol of every congregation of every denomination, is there?!!

Why wouldn't somebody with an allergy buy a raffle ticket for a stall with a wide assortment of prizes? I do agree, though, that most organisers would likely find an equivalent-value prize and swap the tickets over, so that point of mine was probably not the most relevant.

Now I'm curious as to what strawberry and champagne jam tastes like!

I still don't think there's any point in trying to twist the arm of an M&S manager by stressing the allergy issue.

Apart from them having to throw it away, if they're not allowed to re-sell it, there's nothing at all wrong with it or mis-described in itself; the issue is that the buyer bought the wrong thing for the intended recipient, so you can't in any way lay that one on M&S.

Also, as well as the fact that it's food is likely the reason why they say no refunds, I wonder if it was also a factor that they probably get loads of people wanting to return hampers for refunds - the very nature of them means that there will probably be a few included items that every recipient isn't very keen on (let alone allergic/against their beliefs), and when they see the price of them, I bet a lot of folk reckon they'd far rather have the money/exchange it for something else to get a lot more value for the money paid.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper

your name is apt 😂

Yes, hampers are generally rubbish.

Now I'm curious as to what strawberry and champagne jam tastes like!

Is it available on the shelf to buy as an individual item - intended for the buyer to be getting it for themselves, rather than as a gift? If not, that may be your answer

OP can give me the jam then if she wants :) champagne jam sounds amaaaaaaazing :)👍

Nogg

How very dare you insult me and my family?

Yes, it is rather!!

Buying someone a hamper is a lovely thought. Mistakes about the contents happen. Any present is a kind thought IMO. People can just b really ungrateful.

I’m sorry you’re struggling op but I think you should accept the hamper, absolute rip off that it is and regift where possible or donate for a raffle prize to a local cause.
Youre no worse off because of the gift, they didn’t have to get you anything at all and every child’s family in your class is £2 or more worse off that not all of them will be able to afford.
The end of term is expensive with non uniform days, trips, plays, photos, fun days all costing money.
Im 620 overdrawn until I get paid next week and as soon as I get paid I have high school uniform and pe kit to buy, I’ll be lucky to be out of my overdraft by new year.
They could have been more thoughtful but they did a nice thing.

You could sell it online. I did that with an M&S hamper once. You could get £50 if it still looks well presented

I organised the end of year gifts several years during primary and gifted teachers and TA’s some very thoughtful gifts. It was hard work but I always did some digging and found out what they were into or otherwise gifted a voucher which could be spent in lots of different shops.

If I were in your position I would send the organiser an email saying you’re very grateful for the very thoughtful organisation of the gift and love the sentiment, however unfortunatly you are allergic to nuts so can’t use the hamper. I would ask her if it possible to have the receipt so you can exchange it.

I wouldn’t be offended.

Just be honest and say you are allergic to nearly everything in it. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if my kids teacher asked to exchange it for something they would use. I would be more annoyed if I had contributed towards a gift because I was so grateful of the job the teacher did all year, and then the teacher couldn’t enjoy any of it. If the parent gets the hump over you asking to exchange / refund then that says more about them and their motives for organising a (completely innapproprate) gift in the first place

Just viewed the £75 hamper, everything includes nuts in one form or another, except for the champagne!
If you don’t consume alcohol for religious reasons then I don’t think you can even eat the jam, it’s has champagne too.
In this instance I would say thank you very much and explain that you can’t consume any of the gift for health reasons and kindly request the receipt.

I would message M&S Customer Services, they may have more leeway than staff in store. Explain the context - class present after collection, so kind of them to think of an M&S treat hamper etc, it's a real luxury etc. But that you have a nut allergy (severe ?) and don't want to cause offence/embarrass the parents by asking for the receipt. Ask if it's possible to exchange for a hamper without nuts. At least you could then make use of the products. If M&S don't do a £75 hamper without nuts, they may offer you vouchers, but I don't think you can ask.

It says you can’t return the hamper on the website so possibly not worth asking for The receipt in any case

Get it on eBay or Vinted for £40

It’s a bargain Christmas present to put away for someone who likes nuts.