Family holiday. How should the costs be split?

[Sallyrush]

3 families looking to hire a Villa. (Siblings. Not sure if relevant or not)
2 families are 2 adults and 2 kids, other family is 1 adult, 2 kids.
Families 1 & 2 (2 adults, 2 kids each) think Villa should be split per family.
Family 3 (1 adult, 2 kids) thinks the cost should be split per person, their reason being they have 1 salary to pay for the holiday, other families have 2 - all adults work full time.
Families 1 & 2 feel they all use same facilities so it’s per family.
Family 3 would also like to split costs like food per person but other families think this is petty.
who is right?
YANBU. Families 1 & 2 are correct. Split per family
YABU Family 3 is correct. Cost split per person

Hilarious that the 2 other siblings think it’s “petty” for sibling 3 to not subside families double the size!

Then don’t go! Ffs the cost can’t be that much difference, arguing about a few quid is pathetic

Split cost of villa per adult.Thats what we do, and did just did that recently even though I'm married but was going by myself whereas others were couples. If you think about a normal package holiday the cost is pp.Re food when eating put split the bill according to what each person and their kids eat.

Split 3 ways each family pays 33%

Spilt per adult family 1 and 2 pay 40% and family 3 pay 20%

Split per person (kids counted same as adults) families 1 and 2 pay 36.4 % and family 3 pay 27.3%

So if family 3 are offering the 3rd option that seems very reasonable compromise to me for food and accommodation. With a kind nod to being a single parent family, and all the difficulties that go with that.

Ath option is kids count as half then families 1 and 2 would be 37.5 % and family 3 would be 25%.

I hope whatever you choose all of you have a lovely holiday.

It's a tricky one and really unless you expected it to be a straight by families split, then you should have stated how you thought it should work.

It might have been better if you had offered some quid pro quo. So usually at these places there are a couple of master bedrooms, if you'd come up with the split suggestion and said that obviously you wouldn't be taking one of the en suites as it was just you in the room.

I think the DCs will enjoy being with their cousins so much, it's worth trying to navigate through. I would say what your maximum budget is and suggest that if your proposed split won't work you keep looking for a less expensive 6 bed house.

If it’s only a few quid, it’s even more pathetic that OP’s siblings with two salary incomes are quibbling about it.

They are not double in size ops family is 3 people and hernsiblings are 4 people.

Op. I'd say split cost pr room and food per person. This means if one family uses 3 rooms they pay for 3 rooms if all 3 of you use 2 you pay for 2 and you split the cost. I'd also suggest the split app mentioned above.

I'd bring this forth again and with all 5 adults present. Make the point that you are single payment family and the money does matter to you all. If sister starts on about you "harping on" ask her if she is uncomfortable talking about money as you can't imagine she says this due to lack of care for you.

I can't understand why family 1 and 2 think it's ok for family 3 to sub their holiday?

OP is stating it before the booking, to avoid arguments after it’s booked. Very sensible.

I find it weird that your family don't have any empathy at all for your situation

Have you actually told them that your household income has reduced by x% therefore your disposable income is x?

If they want to split by family you need to be crystal clear what your budget is. Your budget x3 should be the accommodation rate you should be looking for.

It's really not hard to grasp is it

Yes thats right because people that earn more should pay more even if it is for exactly same thing as the lesser earning person..ridiculous..this is why my DH & I don’t socialise with single parents

No. I’m not wealthier than them. Both couples earn more than double than I do.
Also to be clear I can afford the holiday. Yes it’s more expensive than I would usually pay but it’s the point blank refusal to see my POV and making me feel like I’m being totally unreasonable with their comments, when I think I’m being fair.
My brother just says I pay higher tax than you and you only have 3 flights (yes you pay higher tax as you earn more and yes you have 4 flights as you have an extra adult - who also has a salary - contributing to the Villa)

i actually think it’s a bit crappy of your siblings to not want to help you out a bit given the circumstances. i hope you get sorted without any major ill feeling being caused - it’s nice for cousins to go away together growing up (if everyone gets on of course)

If you can afford it just pay it & stop being difficult. The majority consensus is that everyone pays the same so that trumps it. Or just don’t go

I agree, but I wasn't trying to be mathematically accurate, I was just making the broader point that it shouldn't be split by family imo.

Count adults as 1 kids as half.
Family 1 = 3 / 8
Family 2 = 3 / 8
Family 3 = 2 / 8

It's a bit less for Family 3 but not half what the others are paying.

See I think everyone here is being a bit unreasonable.

The OP's original suggestion was that the other families subsidise her - that she only pay 20% of the costs despite taking up a third (or 28% if you assume she won't use bedroom 7) of the rooms and 27% of the food bill

The siblings' suggestion was that she subsidise them by paying for 1/3 of all of the costs when she is a slightly smaller household

I think the fair solution is something like 25%, i.e
in the middle

You seem all over the place.

You say they are using the same facilities, but they’re not. OP’s sibling will likely use 3 bedrooms and eat more food as they have two men and a 14yo amongst them.

You then say it doesn’t matter as it’s just a few quid.

And now you’re again claiming the married people are paying more.

You seem to have issues with single parents.

Accommodation by room unless the single parent get a worse room eg the two couples get en-suites, single doesn't. Food per person. BUT if there's 7 bedrooms, if one family gets 3 rooms they should be paying more.

As you said you can afford it you either go or don't go. You can't plead poverty when you're talking about foreign villa holidays two years in a row.
How much income you have shouldn't impact how much you pay, it should be based on what you use.

Honestly, I would start building better ties with family, because with family this, who needs enemies?

Why are the couples expecting the single parent to subsidise their trip? Especially their food!

Better ties with friends that should be.

You sound lovely. So you'd cut off a family member if they fell on hard times.

Per person is fairest.