Family holiday. How should the costs be split?

[Sallyrush]

3 families looking to hire a Villa. (Siblings. Not sure if relevant or not)
2 families are 2 adults and 2 kids, other family is 1 adult, 2 kids.
Families 1 & 2 (2 adults, 2 kids each) think Villa should be split per family.
Family 3 (1 adult, 2 kids) thinks the cost should be split per person, their reason being they have 1 salary to pay for the holiday, other families have 2 - all adults work full time.
Families 1 & 2 feel they all use same facilities so it’s per family.
Family 3 would also like to split costs like food per person but other families think this is petty.
who is right?
YANBU. Families 1 & 2 are correct. Split per family
YABU Family 3 is correct. Cost split per person

dont do it. The problems with the split will only get worse.
Have separate villas within the same complex; do your own meals, except where agreed to come together.

With the new info:

I still don't think your original suggestion of per adult is fair - that would have left you paying for 20% but your family unit is 3/11 of the total group, so that would feel like you were underpaying

But given that you would have been happy with a smaller place and your siblings have teens who will eat more, I would probably look to meet in the middle and go with you paying something like 25%

I would definitely do it by rooms for the accommodation and by person for the food

I wouldn't go OP.

Oops sorry, I realise now we're both on the same page 😆 .

How were costs split for that holiday?

So it’s likely one of your sister’s will take 3 rooms?

I think 1 5th or 3 11ths if they want to be really pedantic is fair.

You could respond with not wanting to subsidise their husbands/wives, when they're perfectly able to pay for themselves.

I'm sorry your siblings are being such dicks.

Kids range between 9-14. All roughy eat the same.

But ignoring the kids changes it quite a lot.

If you go with 1/5 adults, it's 20%
If you go with 3/11 people, it's 27%

OP I'd be straight with your DS and say you can't afford it. You'd love to go on holiday with them, your budget is X and you're happy to find a villa within your budget. Otherwise you can't afford it and will have to bow out.

You could find some places that are affordable for you and send. If she says no at that point, amd is not willing to look for accommodation that is affordable for you all, then unfortunately she doesn't really want you along for the holiday. Sorry.

There’s bound to be one room with an en suite. Who’s going to get that? The single parent?

this sounds like a nightmare before it’s even begun. I’d bow out, yes, citing COL/money.

I think the cost should be split between the adults.

The single parent probably can't afford to pay the same as the 2 adult households, assuming that both adults work.

Price of villa split by rooms, price of food split per person

I don't think you should discount the kids in your paying per person suggestion OP, as they aren't very young. Be sure that would mean them paying double what you do when they only have 25% more people, so I can see why they wouldn't be happy with that. You might have gone too far there. Per person including kids would be easier to argue

However if your sister is going to count how much fruit someone eats to justify her stance this is going to be hard work!

Suck it up this time so you don't disappoint the kids but don't agree to future shared holidays - you can always book your own place near where they go in future if kids want to see their cousins.

I think it's fair to split per adult - so family 1 pays 40% family 2 pays 40% family 3 pays 20%.

It probably depends on salaries & general standard of living though. The single adult might be in a highly paid job.

I think if they're quibbling about this then they will start to expect restaurant bills to be split x 3 etc.

If you all have 2 kids of similar ages (ie they cost the same) then I would split the holiday into 5. You pay 1/5 and the others pay 2\5 each. That is what I would do, if it were my family going away together.

Absolutely family 3 should pay less. Your siblings are selfish and inconsiderate.

I wouldn't go!

I just wouldn't go! Simple.
Sod all that for a week's holiday.

If you were all in the same boat financially then a 3 way split would be easiest and most natural. However, as a single parent you have financial concerns they don’t.

I would stick to my guns and say that as your financial concerns are putting a “dampener” on things you will either a. Book cheaper accommodation for you and your kids or b. Sit this one out.

I think at this point I'd be saying you can't afford to subsidise them so can't go.

This. If family 1 and 2 can comfortably afford this, I really don’t see why they wouldn’t. It isn’t about subsidising someone, it’s about being a family and this seems like a small price to pay. I am sorry your siblings don’t get it.

We recently went away with my husband's side of the family. We had varying amounts of children between us but paid Per Adult. Everyone was happy. We then just took it in turns to buy food but it was all quite loose, no penny counting.

i get where you are coming from, and that normally you will share one room, so personally if you want to go I would be explaining you simply can’t afford it their way. Then either don’t go, or look to find a room for your family in a separate hotel and meet up daily

You shouldn’t have agreed to go if you can’t afford to pay for 2 rooms, why would you not have made that clear before your family started organising the trip?

When we booked we didn’t discuss the breakdown (1st family holiday since I split with ex) however when we came to pay I made same suggestion and we paid per person.
I knew my sister wasn’t happy so I decided to raise it prior to booking this time to avoid any issues further down the line, kind of expecting my brother to see my POV. But no, they’re both of the opinion that I should pay 1/3 regardless of the fact that I have one salary compared to 2.