Partner is so greedy & costing me a fortune

[Chocolatelover2023]

I have lived in partner’s property for 8 years now and we agreed when I moved in that I would pay for the groceries, the Sky TV, broadband and the vets bills for the dogs we own.

Partner pays the council tax ( he pays single occupancy and gets a discount ), water, gas and electricity.

Now living here for the last couple of years has been like living like I’m back at home with my parents.

I am not allowed to have a bath.

I can only wash my clothes once a month ( I have to ask him before hand as he says the water pipes are often turned off? )

We sometimes eat in the dark and the lights are turned off after a certain time.

I am not even allowed to use the oven unless he is also putting something in the oven.

I can just about manage a shower a day for 10 minutes.

We cant flush the toilet unless someone has been for a number 2.

Toilet will then be flushed at the end of the day causing a horrific smell of urine in the bathroom.

My partner pays a month:

Electricity £60
Water £25
Gas £30
Council Tax £90

I pay a month:

Groceries £400
Dog food £40
Broadband £20
Sky £100
And also covering the vet bills, annual vaccinations, flea and worm treatment.

I do a weekly food shop averaging around £100 a week split at Aldi and Asda.

The food will be gone within 3/4days, as partner is so greedy and then complains there is no food in the house.

I try to limit what I eat to save money.

Partner will just eat what he wants.
He will use all the veg within days and the fridge will empty.

I will buy two huge bags of baking potatoes and they will be gone within 4 days as he will use 3/4 for one meal of jacket potatoes and the rest he will make mash/ roast potatoes with.

Hardly any left for me.

I cannot afford to keep doing these big weekly shops, he moans that he pays all the bills, but my bills are massive compared to his.

I have just paid £200 for my dog’s antibiotics who was ill last week.

He me his bank card and promised to me pay half but gave me the wrong PIN, so I had to pay all the bill myself.

Partner is very wealthy, he owns several Buy to Let’s and his parents are very rich too.

We have been arguing a lot lately as partner was annoyed I never got his dad a Fathers’s Day card/ present.
Again these things cost money, something partner does not seem to grasp.

I dont see why I should as I dont particularly like his dad and defo do not see him in a fatherly role, and plus I have my own dad!

I have suggested that I move out and get my own place as I cannot keep living like this.
His parents live next door and are always sticking there nose in our business.

Partner has just started a new job and his mum text me asking why I was not cooking for him.
I work full time myself, have to do all the cleaning and look after the dogs!

Partner has suffered from depression in the past ( so have I ) but living like this is really making me feel down, I feel like a prisoner.
I do not love him, not attracted to him and I have only stayed for my beautiful dogs who I love so much.

I really dont know what to do as partner will always make me feel guilty every time I have tried to leave in the past.

Guess it depends on how old you are and where you lived. Water shortages where he was used to be regular so only flushing when necessary was the norm. He's only 60 so it wasn't yeaaaaaaars and years ago.

Why on earth are you still there? This sounds like hell. Your partner is a terrible terrible person. Take the dogs and run. Anywhere. Never look back. Jesus christ woman, come on.

I have to pay full council tax because I house adult age children (who stopped being students last year). If I have to pay 100% I don't see why this tax cheat should get his 25% discount. It sounds like the couple is not married so may be sensible just to move out.

Get out now and don't go back. He's only going to get worse as he gets older, your still young and can rebuild.

Take the dogs, block his number, contract your friends and family and advice them of what happened.

You can do this, you are worth more.

What is really weird about your post OP is that your thread title is about this man eating almost a whole bag of spuds, in a day, when the reality is far worse than that!

Did you never talk to your friends about how he behaves?

Has no one in RL ever told you this is just MAD?

I concur with this vivid description (being from a rural background and having grown up around farmers). I do know one farmer who is delightful and fun, but also a heavy drug user and alcoholic - problems than are also rife within farming.

There's also the fact that many farmers have had to sell the family pile to keep the estate going, and now live in what would once have been a worker's cottage on their own estate. In fairness, life as a farmer is bloody hard. However, that doesn't make them any easier to deal with, let alone live with.

Is this real or ChatGPT AGAIN??

I had to laugh with this one. Obviously this guy is a moustache-twirlingly evil abusive partner that OP should have never shacked up with but the image of this guy eating his mass of hoarded potatoes in the dark was too funny. Like the Cookie monster but for potatoes.

And he's a buy-to-let landlord! Truly the scum of the earth.

I suspect the only sack this man can master is the potato sack

I've reported it- let's see what MNHQ say.

I'm not sure who they would pursue for the unpaid council tax, due to fraudulent single person claim. Him or you?

Have you name changed for this OP? I remember the stories about farmers, parents, and general tightness. Unless there are a lot of unfortunate farmers partners out there...

I don't believe this is real. No-one would live like this for 8 days let alone 8 years!!

Him. The property is in his name.

Partner severely mentally ill and highly abusive.

I'm a farmer and don't relate to any of the OP. There have been many variations of this story over the years on MN

I would rather live in a box than help this prick live his lifestyle. Honestly fuck that shit.

OMG you read my mind!

Are you not registered to vote?
What address is on your driving licence?
What address is on your bank account?
What did you do when it was the census?

Oooh, do this, do this!🤣

Your OH sounds like one of those wanker landlords that quibble over everything while providing a shite service. He is commiting fraud and you are part of it too. He is also domineering and controlling. I would leave personally. He is using you and sounds like a very unpleasant man. You can do better.

Why are you still with him? I read your post with more and more incredulity as the list grew longer. Does he have any redeeming qualities? He comes across as mean and controlling and you would be far better off without him.

Yes, but the local council would still need to be aware she was at that address. They aren't joined up organisations.

What did you do when it was the census?

He LIED!

Or else he doesn't exist.

Why are you still there?!

My friend Ives on a farm with animals
The water is unlimited
No water meter