Aibu to think pregnant women should be offered a seat?

[Hufflepods]

Travelling at least twice a day with changes in London and I’m noticing that it’s less and less common to offer a pregnant woman a seat.
I feel like it wasn’t like this during my last pregnancy but this time it almost seems to rare for someone to offer!
I’m 34 weeks pregnant and due to a mixture of sickness and low blood pressure I get really faint in stuffy, busy spaces ie standing on a busy tube. I’m sure that isn’t really unique and many pregnant women feel similarly.
Occasionally someone else also standing will go up to people sitting and ask can one of them let me sit down.
One time I felt truly horrific and could feel my head spinning I asked the people who were in or near the priority seats but they all pretended not to hear me ask about 3 times and then I fainted so that really put me off asking in future.
I kind of feel like the people who look up multiple times and see you standing in front of them then look back down and ignore you are exactly the sort of people to ignore or say no when you explicitly asked which was sort of proven when I’ve asked’
As a side note I’m 34 weeks so a pretty substantial sized bump, fairly petite in general so it’s obviously bump and isn’t hidden under coats due to the weather, plus I wear the badge.
AIBU to think people are just ruder than ever now?

Is it now an unreasonable opinion to think pregnant woman should be offered a seat?

Are you this arsey when you ask for a seat 🤣, this might be your issue.

I was also nearly always offers seats when pregnant and I find it hard to believe you can ask a whole carriage and nobody responds OP. Very odd.

Well you can't really ask a whole carriage due to the tube layout so its only really the 4/6 people at the end who are also in the priority seats. I'm sure at least some of them felt bad for ignoring me when I fainted like a minute later but it has made travelling much more stressful and anxiety inducing for me.

I'm not pregnant, but I have hurt my foot at the moment. No idea how, but it hurts to walk and I'm using a stick, and moving very slowly. The rudeness of people of public transport amazes me.

I genuinely think it’s a tube line lottery. I was inundated with seat offers when pregnant on the Jubilee line - I still get offered a seat at least once a week now even though I’m not pregnant, I’m just a bit fat & fluffy (which opens another can of worms - is it better to spare embarrassment and take the seat, or jovially respond with “I’m OK, just fat but thank you!” which runs the risks of them never offering up their seat again 🤷🏻‍♀️) My colleague recently broke her leg, depressed shin fracture which required surgery, a leg brace and crutches. Tube line #1, never offered a seat, tube line #2, she had options because multiple people would stand up for her.

Not saying it's right but they probably think she's a piss taker. Anybody can buy one of those badges off eBay.

I had 2 instances like this when I was very heavily pregnant. The first time I was on a bus where every stop was done like an emergency stop and I was stood struggling to stay balanced in a summer dress with a huge bump and everyone sat in their seats staring at me blankly. And another time I was sat in the bus station waiting for a bus with my huge bump, shopping bags at my feet and feeling very faint (I had pre-eclampsia and an ‘invisible’ chronic illness) and some older people showed up (none of them showing struggles to walk) and the one man with them shamed me and told me to get up because the public bench was for them as they were older, I stupidly got up and let them sit down instead and then they ranted and raved about my ‘cheek’ of sitting down for the entire time waiting for the bus.
Some people aren’t nice.

I think the vast majority of Londoners will tell you it isn't though.

Those of us who've lived here and commuted all our lives, see a very different 'norm'.

And again, I've yet to see a pregnant woman (or anyone else for that matter) loudly and clearly ask some people for a seat 3 times and get ignored by all of them...

I would offer a seat. In the past I've offered my seat to someone who was more pregnant than I was while all the suited men hid behind their Daily Telegraphs. But when you are pregnant, you notice other pregnant women. I can't say that I do notice them these days, now I'm long past that stage.

I can't say that I've noticed anyone pregnant travelling and having to stand recently but it could be that I'm listening to my audiobook while playing a game and haven't noticed someone needing a seat. Just like the men and the newspapers years ago.

I ignore people who ask me for a priority seat because I don’t want to explain my disabilities. If you need a seat then it’s better to ask the entire carriage quite loudly and someone will give you one (even with a hidden disability this is the case).

Ive had people and others in the carriage raise their voices at me in the past so now I stick on my headphones and ignore everything around me.

I’m surprised, I always got offered seats in my first preg.

Part of my commute was only 2 stops, easier to stand but if no one noticed/offered someone always loudly requested one on my behalf!

Currently pregnant again and always get offered a seat even without a badge.

People don’t always notice even with a badge - I recall losing my balance during a hard stop and having a whole row of seated folk apologising for not seeing/offering a seat beforehand.

plenty a time I’ve offered a seat on request OR been bemused that someone has been tutting while not saying anything esp considering most are plugged in!

You shouldn’t have to ask and I’m shocked at the proportion of people who think you should. What a world where people don’t notice someone in your situation and want to help.

It's the same argument I've seen before. If you need a seat for whatever reason just ask! Don't expect people to second guess and then feel pissed off that you haven't been offered.

Some people look pregnant but it's actually a fat belly. Some people are pregnant but don't need to sit down.

^Really someone who has gone out of their way to wear the badge that TFL advise would be offended at being offered a seat?
I find that hard to believe that’s everyone’s reason.^

The badge says to me take care not to bump into that person not that they definitely need to sit down. Just ask - most people are kind and would be happy to oblige.

She is wearing a badge and as she has said, is very obviously pregnant.

I’ve impressed upon my dc’s that always when travelling on public transport they absolutely must look for pregnant/ elderly / disabled people who could benefit from their seat. Even if they are deep in a movie or book with headphones on. Just like I’ve told them never to go through a door without checking there’s someone behind them to hold it open for and a thousand other things that are basic good manners.

It literally is their responsibility though, the seats say “please offer this seat to someone who needs it” with a picture of a person walking with a stick, someone carrying a young child or a pregnant woman.

You seriously think everyone should be thinking and checking constantly if there’s a pregnant woman needing a seat? 😂 People will be thinking about their own things. Sorry, my world doesn’t revolve around women who may potentially need a seat. But ask and I’ll happily move.

And those people won't be wearing a badge, so are irrelevant to this thread.

Wearing a badge, for future reference, generally signifies "I'd like a seat please". There are a few exceptions eg if you're just about to get off, but the vast majority of pregnant women who are wearing a badge would like a seat.

I would always offer my seat to a pregnant woman or elderly person if I noticed them, but I would usually be zoned out listening to music if I wasn't with my DC so it's likely I wouldn't notice. If someone asked me for the seat then I would happily give it up.

Yes.

Everyone who is sitting on a priority seat who doesn't have a priority need is obligated to check at each stop for people who need the seat more. That's the system, it's explained on signs above the priority seats.

If you don't like it, then don't sit on a priority seat, no-one's forcing you.

If you're not on a priority seat then that's fine. If you are on a priority seat then you need to actively look on a regular basis. Your choice whether to take that seat.

Christ, that’s awful. I wish you’d told him to fuck off.

People don't want to get up. That's the crux of it. I'm surprised they don't move if you ask directly, but I'm not surprised people don't offer.

If you're not on a priority seat then that's fine. If you are on a priority seat then you need to actively look on a regular basis. Your choice whether to take that seat.

Yes I agree. People in normal seats are free to zone out and not be on guard for someone needing their seat, but if you are in a priority seat and you don't need it, then you should be.

Really? People would actually sit in a priority seat and then not bother to check at each stop that someone might need that seat? Wow.

Op as I said upthread

I never encountered this when commuting in London and pregnant. People practically fell over themselves offering

I suspect you look pissed off and they kind of puts people off offering as their frightened you’re going to shout “I’m not fucking pregnant” or “I’m pregnant not fucking disabled”