Aibu to think pregnant women should be offered a seat?

[Hufflepods]

Travelling at least twice a day with changes in London and I’m noticing that it’s less and less common to offer a pregnant woman a seat.
I feel like it wasn’t like this during my last pregnancy but this time it almost seems to rare for someone to offer!
I’m 34 weeks pregnant and due to a mixture of sickness and low blood pressure I get really faint in stuffy, busy spaces ie standing on a busy tube. I’m sure that isn’t really unique and many pregnant women feel similarly.
Occasionally someone else also standing will go up to people sitting and ask can one of them let me sit down.
One time I felt truly horrific and could feel my head spinning I asked the people who were in or near the priority seats but they all pretended not to hear me ask about 3 times and then I fainted so that really put me off asking in future.
I kind of feel like the people who look up multiple times and see you standing in front of them then look back down and ignore you are exactly the sort of people to ignore or say no when you explicitly asked which was sort of proven when I’ve asked’
As a side note I’m 34 weeks so a pretty substantial sized bump, fairly petite in general so it’s obviously bump and isn’t hidden under coats due to the weather, plus I wear the badge.
AIBU to think people are just ruder than ever now?

Is it now an unreasonable opinion to think pregnant woman should be offered a seat?

@Sigmama

Did you fail primary school? Obviously you can't read because she said 'I asked'

They ignored. She fainted

@Joanne19900

Being pregnant is equal to being disabled - depending on the woman as every pregnancy is different. Some women have 5 children without fainting, my mother had one - me - and fainted on the underground to wake up cast on the platform with noone around her. She NEEDED a seat.

I travel on Victoria Line and always seeing people offered seats.
Im 60 grey haired and get offered seats all the time .

@Espanaes81

Yeah........ my mum's boyfriend experienced this too.........

It's utterly disgusting of the pregnant woman who do this. Destroys the whole system

Just say "Awww, that's really kind but I'm enjoying standing today. :) You enjoy the seat and the view and have a nice day."

Average Londener is pretty good though tbh

I was always offered a seat on the Tube or bus (though having commuted in by that point I wanted to stand and stretch). It was the train home that was awful. I’d ask generally, nothing. Approach individual people in priority seats. They’d see me, clock the pregnancy, and turn away – headphones on, ignoring even if you tapped them on the shoulder. One man was on the phone making An Important Man Call while typing Important Man Things on his laptop and literally shook his head at me then hunched over his tech, apologising to his Important Colleague for my interruption.

Like I get no one wants to stand from London to Brighton but that’s the risk you take by sitting in the priority seat innit.

YANBU at all OP. I would say that I'm shocked by some of the comments on here but having been pregnant myself in London last year and posting on here since, I'm really not.

I needed the badge for myself before I got it - sick every morning without fail for the first 4-5 months, couldn't keep anything down and getting on the tube feeling faint was horrible. I'm sorry that happened to you when no-one offered a seat.

When I did get my badge, I then had a bump. I also felt better in myself so felt ok to stand sometimes. But only during quiet times on the tube with no-one in my personal space. Because you know what? I wore the badge to protect the bump on the tube! It's not safe to be standing when people push and crowd into increasingly small spaces. I still remember waiting for an absolutely packed central line whilst 32 weeks gone and the TFL staff member on the platform got on the train before me, knocked loudly on the glass near the seats and demanded that I be given a seat. He was a lifesaver that day.

Before I was pregnant I genuinely looked around every time we stopped to check if someone had got on who needed the seat more than me (no matter which seat I was in). Anyone who is otherwise healthy should absolutely do this.

Ah diddums...did a nasty lady say something mean?

I think people need to grow a thicker skin if this response really puts them off offering other pregnant women a seat (we're not all the same!)

I only refused seats when pregnant when a) I had less than two stops and b) the standing area was quiet or empty. If that train was packed I was sitting down. But I would smile, say thanks but not needed today.

The Victoria line always seems insufferably hot compared to other lines. I am insulin dependent diabetic and the heat really reduces my blood sugar, so i am scared of passing out on there.
If i have time now i sometimes go all the way to Liverpool street and get the Elizabeth line to Tottenham Court Road and walk from there , it is so much more pleasant on the Lizzie Line with proper air conditioning, just takes me longer
I joke with my friends how old and decrepit i must look to get offered a seat so often!

I’m not complaining, I’m expressing a view. I would respond to this more fully but I can’t see the point because you seem to think badges are the answer to everything. Do you really believe that people who have badges on their usual coat take them off on days when they don’t need a seat? I think that’s naive.

It’s very telling the language and tone you’ve used to me but of course the man is a “poor thing” 😂

I don’t think badges are the answer to everything at all, I’m well aware they can be forgotten. I’ve not had one plenty of journeys without one because it’s summer and I don’t have a jacket so I don’t always have it in my bag.
it’s the posters who say they would see a very obvious bump and would actually not offer a seat without a badge.
I’m just saying if someone has actually gone to the effort of wearing then it’s pretty fair to assume they feel like they will need a seat.

People lack basic manners and sadly make excuses as we have seen on here: suggesting many on there will have issues themselves etc. It is that sense of entitlement and selfishness that we have these days. It is pretty simple, if someone has a greater need than you, you stand.

I'm a bit biased, I look young and healthy so often get asked to give up the priority seat. I've ended up doing so in the past because I've felt embarrassed. Particularly when train staff have asked me to move. I've started to carry a walking stick even though I don't need it 90% of the time but I do need a seat. It's mortifying to have to explain myself.

15yr ago I used to get the train to work when pregnant and ended up on a few occasions sitting on the floor where the bikes are supposed to go. Never got offered a seat. This is not a new thing. Basic manners in general society in this county have gone downhill massively in the last 20-30yr.

It's not a rocket science. If I see someone who may need a seat more than me, I offer.

If they say no - ok.

If someone asks for a seat even though they may not noticeably seem to need one - fuck's sake, it's Britain, they are probably about to die. Have my seat!

And if they are scammers? Oh, wow, I stood for ages for no reason. Face? Bovvered?

I should also add that I was regularly offered seats when I was pregnant (2001) and also was given seats when I asked cos of feeling sick and not pregnant. (Did not let on I was hungover. Sorry. But no-one wanted to see the contents of my stomach, surely?)

Women coming onto a forum largely populated by women, to lay into a pregnant woman repeatedly, because she has the audacity to be troubled that despite asking several people, no one would give her a seat on the tube when she was struggling.

The absolute glee in the posters’ tone when they join forces to mock the pregnant poster is astonishing.

The fuck has this place become?

I had problems in 2020 when I was pregnant and people giving me a seat, because people were deliberately avoiding each other and there were less seats available due to social distancing. But in general if I caught eyes with someone I would be offered a seat. It’s exhausting commuting when 8 months pregnant, there were times I just didn’t know how I could face the long walk changing lines at some tube stops.

OP, I agree with you that this thread is horribly shocking. If I’m in a priority seat I make sure to check who comes on at each stop and offer my seat or just get up and start standing if I think someone else should take it. I’ve also spoken up and called “would anyone be able to give this lady a seat” when someone with a walking stick comes on and says everyone is buried in their phones. But I have to say that anytime I’ve done so, multiple people have jumped up.

In regards to the PP saying that pregnant people are cheeky because they’d never take off the badge if they feel fine. Well, no, they probably wouldn’t. But I’ve witnessed many women smile and say “no thank you, I’m happy to stand and am getting off soon”. And I’ve also hidden a badge with a scarf if I’ve not wanted to make a big deal.

I am wondering what part of London you are travelling on so regularly as you seem to be having a tough time of it. Perhaps there are language differences which is why people aren’t listening to you.

Do you really believe that people who have badges on their usual coat take them off on days when they don’t need a seat? I think that’s naive.

Why not? I only wear the badge when I need it.

Most are looking at phones / reading a book prob not even noticing

just ask

What on earth is this bizarre obsession some posters have that it’s pregnant women ‘gaming the system’ anyway? Like the only way a pregnant woman deserves a seat is only if she’s literally in deaths doorstep that day otherwise she’s a con artist.