Aibu to think pregnant women should be offered a seat?

[Hufflepods]

Travelling at least twice a day with changes in London and I’m noticing that it’s less and less common to offer a pregnant woman a seat.
I feel like it wasn’t like this during my last pregnancy but this time it almost seems to rare for someone to offer!
I’m 34 weeks pregnant and due to a mixture of sickness and low blood pressure I get really faint in stuffy, busy spaces ie standing on a busy tube. I’m sure that isn’t really unique and many pregnant women feel similarly.
Occasionally someone else also standing will go up to people sitting and ask can one of them let me sit down.
One time I felt truly horrific and could feel my head spinning I asked the people who were in or near the priority seats but they all pretended not to hear me ask about 3 times and then I fainted so that really put me off asking in future.
I kind of feel like the people who look up multiple times and see you standing in front of them then look back down and ignore you are exactly the sort of people to ignore or say no when you explicitly asked which was sort of proven when I’ve asked’
As a side note I’m 34 weeks so a pretty substantial sized bump, fairly petite in general so it’s obviously bump and isn’t hidden under coats due to the weather, plus I wear the badge.
AIBU to think people are just ruder than ever now?

Is it now an unreasonable opinion to think pregnant woman should be offered a seat?

I find it varies by line - Victoria Line and there was always a tiny older lady who would yell at the hulking 6 ft 5 guys in the priority seats who then got up very sheepishly offering me and her a seat. Northern Line - nah - a real feeling that as a woman you are not important - I remember travelling to an emergency appointment at Guys and even when DH asked the guys sitting in the priority seat none would give me one. Central stretch of the District Line and they were falling over themselves to offer me a seat.

Always ask - really pointedly. (I'd be tempted to do it on my phone and post on tiktok as there are lines where I cannot believe that every single male aged 30 in the carriage is unable to stand.)

I found this too - black teenagers were quick to give their seats up - white and Asian less so

It’s actually incredibly easy, the vast majority of pregnant women in London on public transport wear badges.

I'm neither nasty nor misogynistic, and I'm not ashamed. I just happen to have a different, yet reasonable point of view to yours. If a sign on public transport did include pregnancy as priority seating then I would offer my seat (if I was confident the woman was pregnant and not fat).
I do think lots of pregnant women are just that, pregnant not ill.

I do think lots of pregnant women are just that, pregnant not ill.

You don’t need to be ill to be in greater need of a seat. Presumably you wouldn’t give up a seat for a very old healthy person either.

It's usually worded disabled, elderly or less able to stand, which would include some pregnant women?

If you would get up for an old person but would only get up for a pregnant woman if a sign like this tells you then I think you do have some misogynistic traits.

Yes

Yes, I did wonder. I've never personally seen a sign on public transport highlighting pregnant women this way, but I'm sure they exist...but definitely not the norm. I don't know if I've seen one saying less able to stand either.
There are plenty of people less able to stand than me. I don't feel they should automatically get priority so I'll abide by the service providers rules. If I think someone's struggling I might offer my seat, likewise if someone asked, but I expect some people to have a harder time than me....just as when I need to pay for goods it might be harder for me. I don't ask someone else to buy my shopping, but if I meet the governments threshold for 'poor' I have no issues contributing and helping out with benefits.

It usually explicitly includes pregnant women as PP shared!

I can't imagine a situation where I wouldn't give up a seat for anyone who I thought needed it more, whether elderly, pregnant or disabled. I can't believe there are people on here who wouldn't.

I know. This thread’s been a real eye opener. Our society is inherently selfish now.

@JudgeRudy

Do you actually get public transport? They are very much the norm on buses in the UK and explicitly include pregnant women.

Comparing this to asking someone to buy your shopping or benefits is utterly ridiculous.

It's funny because there's all the usual 'they might have a hidden disability!' but statistically for the majority of a carriage this is unlikely to be the case, and then several posts later the person makes it clear actually they just seem to disagree with pregnant women having seating priority generally so it then all seems to come across as quite deliberate!

The signs say less able to stand- that’s the providers rules. If you think lots of people are less able to stand than you then get of your arse and offer them the bloody seat!

Wtf is wrong with some people.

"Do you actually get public transport? They are very much the norm on buses in the UK and explicitly include pregnant women."

No, I don't use public transport often which is why I said "I've never seen them but I accept they exist"

I shall make a point of looking out for them locally.

As an update I stood in the middle of the aisle for 5 stops today, everyone looked up and then diverted their gaze. I did then get offered a seat as we pulled into my connecting station, bit late but fine maybe that one person who I was standing over only just seen me and I guess the other 15 people all have hidden disabilities.
Then got onto the second tube and a mid 40s woman tried to race me to the only available seat from the opposite end of the carriage while I waddled to it with my bump and badge on. Bizarre.

An ex (male) used to get incensed at the idea that anyone should stand up for a pregnant woman. He never did as he didn’t see it as a disability. He once got annoyed at a woman who was in the late stages of pregnancy asking someone on a train for a seat.

Part of the reason he is an ex.

It's just odd to claim they aren't the norm then when actually you don't even get public transport. They very much are the norm.

Wow what a douche bag

This is why it is a stressful option when people claim "you just need to ask!" Clearly from this thread your ex's opinion is actually quite commonplace.

The thought of feeling sick and faint, asking for a seat and then being ranted at because 'you're pregnant not ill! / I was running 20 miles while I was in labour/ you chose to be pregnant' just doesn't sound like a pleasant way to start my commute.

Given that she had to stand on the tube this morning, that seems highly unlikely.

Multiple times you have commented on my work pattern now. What a helpful contribution to the thread.

Crumbs Hufflepods, poor you!

This thread has prompted me to check with my dc’s who are currently using the tube in London daily that they are checking for elderly/ disabled/ pregnant women etc and giving up their seats accordingly. Happy to confirm that all 3 were shocked that I would even consider that they weren’t doing that.